Attributes | Values |
---|
rdfs:label
| - Peter Benjamin Parker (Earth -0)
|
Alignment
| |
dcterms:subject
| |
Trivia
| - *Spider-Man is a guy with SPIDER POWER!!!
*This page is purely for the lols and making fun of the poor guy named Spider-Man.
|
BaseOfOperations
| |
UnusualFeatures
| - Small hairs on his hands and feet thatallow him to adhere to walls and mostsurfaces
|
MaritalStatus
| |
HistoryText
| - Peter Parker was born a long time ago in the suburban town of Queens. Because his parents were complete jerks and valued work over their own son, they left Peter with his creepy uncle and his aunt.
Peter grew up under the influence of drugs of Uncle Ben and Aunt May, learning all their moral values, only to completely ignore them when he got super powers later on in life. But that hasn't happened now, has it?
Anyways, Peter Parker quickly went into High School, where some kid named Eddie Brock began to bully him and ask for some of his Pokemon cards. Unfortunately, Peter had no cards, so he kept getting beat up. That was when he spotted the fine-looking specimen known as Gwen Stacy as he laid on the floor, his nose bleeding and had a shiner. He instantly fell in love.
left|thumbOne day, Peter Parker went to a presentation when he was bit by some radioactive spider. He didn't feel so good afterwords, and eventually had to hurl. In fact, he felt so sick that he started having nightmares of some weird wrinkly guy throwing a old guy over something about a formula.
After he discovered his awesome body and powers, he decided he needed to impress that one Gwen lady he only saw for a millisecond and buy a car. But to get a car, he needed money. So he had the crazy idea to test his powers on this guy named Bone Saw.
After publicly embarrassing Bone Saw, Parker decided to get his cash, but he only got payed a measly 100 dollars. The manager soon afterwords was robbed, and Peter Parker did nothing to stop the guy !
It was soon discovered, however, that Uncle Ben was shot by a robber, and Parker soon realized that he needed to drink use his powers responsibly. As such, he became the Spider-Man, a meme-tastic super-hero.
Early Career
After being a complete buffoon, Spidey decided he wanted to bother the Fantastic Four so they could recruit them or something. However, he broke into the Baxter Building, being the convict he is to get their approval.
"I don't know what that bozo was thinking," Reed Richards later stated. "He could have easily walked into our lab and asked for a job. People constantly crash through those doors anyways."
After getting a well-deserved beating from the Fantastic Four, Parker later discovered his name was being soiled even further by some weird Russian guy called The Chameleon. Of course Spidey gave him a beating he well-deserved.
|
CurrentAlias
| |
dbkwik:marvelcomic...iPageUsesTemplate
| |
Creators
| |
Relatives
| |
Eyes
| |
Origin
| - After being bit by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker's life changed for the worse as he became a high-school student that actually had to take on responsibilities
|
Affiliation
| - Definitely NOT the Avengers
|
Hair
| |
ImageSize
| |
Education
| |
First
| |
Transportation
| - *Web-Swinging: Like I said, it's his preferred method of travelling, but it also causes vandalism. Holy cow, I'm starting to think like JAMESON!
|
Abilities
| - If having powers isn't showing off enough, here's some of the stuff he can normally do:
*Indomitable will: Spider-Man is a goody two-shoes, meaning he's gonna do the right thing all the time. But what's he gonna do when he's on a bridge and sees a person on a train track and a group on another, which either one would kill the people? Huh? Which people would he save when pulling the lever? Wait, what am I asking? He's freaking Spider-Man. He'd use his webs to pull all the people away. :P
*Brilliant but Lazy: "Peter Parker's a pretty smart guy, but he's also a lazy bum. He barely has cash and doesn't do his homework half of the time. This guy is wasting his potential in life." ~Otto Octavius, Super-Villain.
*Skill Photographer: Stick your camera SOMEWHERE ELSE!
*Skill Fighter: 'Nuff said
*Science: He's pretty good at it. He knows chemistry, mechanics, and other fun stuff.
*Professional Meme Star: Spider-Man is star of plenty of memes. A proud profession, if I don't say so myself.
|
CustomLabel
| |
Aliases
| - Dork, weirdo, idiot, doofus, geek, NEEEEEERD! Wait are all these just insults people call him?
|
Weight
| |
Speaker
| |
Height
| |
Title
| |
Identity
| |
Weapons
| - *Web-Shooters: These things are freak'n dangerous. They pull people around, tie them up, swing them around... My gosh, so much violence! Poor criminals!
|
PlaceOfBirth
| |
Citizenship
| |
Weaknesses
| - Believe it or not, Spider-Man has weaknesses. Who knew?
*Spider-Sense Disruption: Spider-Man can have his tingling senses disrupted when given certain drugs or if he's near a Symbiote or something like that.
|
Powers
| - Peter Parker has a good amount of powers he happens to use. Here's some of the cooler ones:
*Wall-Crawling: Because Spider-Man has awkward little hairs on his hands, he has the ability to cling to walls or something along these lines. It's not always the most effective way of travelling.
*Spider-Sense: A good way to make sure nobody hits you, Spider-Man has a sixth-sense that makes him awkwardly say "My spider-senses are TINGLING!" and helps him dodge things like bullets, stuff thrown at him, or when a telemarketer calls. Pretty useful stuff.
*Super-Human Strength: Spider-Man is so strong, he can lift up about 40-tons at his best. Pretty strong dude.thumb
*Super Speed & Flexibility: Spider-Man not only has a wide range of flexibility, he also uses this alongside his super-speed, making him a truly annoying enemy.
*Super-Human durability: Spider-Man is MUCH more durable with his skin than most other people, which is probably why it's called super-human, huh?
*Some-what healing factor: Not as strong as Wolverine's, Spider-Man can heal himself at a slower rate.
|
Notes
| - *Spider-Man is BIONICLEToa's favorite super-hero to make fun of.
*Spider-Man's a Protestant. Don't believe me? Look here.
|
Universe
| |
Occupation
| - Vigilante, High School Student who always needs money, photographer for the Daily Bugle and website maker.
|
Equipment
| - *Web Shooters: Stop the debate. He uses Web-Shooters. 'Nuff said. These can run out sometimes and need to be re-filled. Plus, it helps him swing across the city, leaving a bunch of litter on buildings. Spider-man really is a criminal!
|
Gender
| |
RealName
| |
ImageText
| - He does have some sweet moves
|
Quote
| - "I missed the part where that's my problem."
|
Custom
| |