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| - A rowdy, hyper-active and heavily decomposed live-wire, who thinks of himself as the guy who left behind a beautiful corpse, Betelgeuse is nothing short of a one-man show. With his raspy, southern-fried voice, deadly sense-of-humor, hunger for insects and his libido (which alone is more alive than most people's entire body), this ghoul is one to watch--and one to avoid. He claims to have been around since the Black Plague (he looks like it) and worked as an assistant to Juno. Those who do wrong are doomed to be civil servants in the after-life. Well, maybe gold-plating.
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| abstract
| - A rowdy, hyper-active and heavily decomposed live-wire, who thinks of himself as the guy who left behind a beautiful corpse, Betelgeuse is nothing short of a one-man show. With his raspy, southern-fried voice, deadly sense-of-humor, hunger for insects and his libido (which alone is more alive than most people's entire body), this ghoul is one to watch--and one to avoid. Betelgeuse resided, like many corpses in a grave at a cemetery. While he may have superpowers like a witch or like a genie, encased in a prison, his powers are very reduced. Released, you'll laugh... but you won't want him in your house. He claims to have been around since the Black Plague (he looks like it) and worked as an assistant to Juno. Those who do wrong are doomed to be civil servants in the after-life. In need of a new line of work (and scheme), he tries to get work as the world's first bio-exorcist. A man who specializes in "exorcisms of the living." Those who are deceased who wish to remain in their home can scare away the living who may try to inherit it. He sees an ad in the paper (the obituaries) for the Maitlands who seem like the perfect customers... gullible. And desperate. When the Maitlands meet him, he seems more than they bargained for. Perfect for the job, but maybe too perfect. An overdose gumbo of frightening, disgusting, obnoxious and comical that's downrigh potent, the Maitlands decide they've make a enormous mistake and refuse to do business. But this guy insists he's the best--hands down. Bar none. Making good on his threat, he spins himself into a fearsome rattle-snake and even gets physical. Beetle Geuse has a roaming eye and sets it on the Dietz's daughter, Lydia. His only shot of salvation is if someone says his name three times. But even that's not a quick fix... unless he gets married. At first, it seems like Betelgeuse and Lydia are a match made... well, somewhere. But that relationship soon comes to an unpleasant end. After re-incarnation (waiting in line at an undead corporate office), he gets his own place in another realm called the Netherworld. Betelgeuse owns his own roadhouse and has a next-door-neghibor skeleton name Jaques. a furry Bigfoot from Texas called The Monster Across The Street and a friendly tap-dancing spider name Ginger. Betelgeuse and Lydia become B.F.F. and have the most wild adventures together. He's still a card, a troublemaker and a master of visual puns. He still a taste for insects and a habit of chasing skirt. But... he's more of a hero. Although his heart doesn't beat... it's made of gold. Well, maybe gold-plating.
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