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| - Narrator: At a thinly-attended evil villain convention held in a seedy motel on the outskirts of town… Tobey: Processed foods. Ugh. Dr. Two-Brains: Op, sorry, pardon me. On a quest for cheese here. Tobey: You’re Dr. Two-Brains. Dr. Two-Brains: Right the first time! Tobey: I- I’m a big fan of your work. I read your article about “Escaping the Scene” in last month’s Modern Villain Monthly. Good stuff! Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, pish-posh. So, what’s your schtick? Tobey: Uh, giant robots? Dr. Two-Brains: Catalog or homemade? Tobey: Homemade. Dr. Two-Brains: Nice! Wait a second, you wouldn’t happen to be Tobey the boy genius robot-- builder-- kid, would you? Tobey: More or less. Dr. Two-Brains: Well, this is a pleasure! (shakes his hand forcefully) I’ve been following your career! Not too shabby, kid. Tobey: So, tell me, what brilliant and evil inventions have you been working on lately? Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, you know, this and that, gravity machine, time travel, brie blintzes… oh, and I recently tried turning platinum into cheese, but all I got was a strong, super-thin metal with a bitter steel aftertaste. (eats another piece of cheese) Tobey: Hmm… you know, I’ve been trying forever to develop a material just like that! Dr. Two-Brains: Really? Tobey: Well, I am a robot man, of course. And with your new metal, I would be able to build my most indestructible robot yet! Uh, any chance, Doctor, that you would be interested in a collaboration? Dr. Two-Brains: Tobey? Can I call you Tobey? Why not? I’ve got a few days to kill. (shakes hands with Tobey) Tobey: Excellent! Narrator: Meanwhile, on the happy side of town, our heroes enjoy another stimulating family outing. Mr. Botsford: ...And, find a tree! Mr. Botsford: Good. Find... your shoes! Mr. Botsford: Good. I don’t know, I think we should try our best to-- Quick! Find your nose! Mr. Botsford: That’s not fast enough! Mrs. Botsford: Honey, don’t you think you’re taking this scavenger hunt a little too seriously? Mr. Botsford: But we have to do everything in our power to beat our opponents! TJ: Why? It’s not like we win anything cool. Mr. Botsford: It’s not the prize, it’s the winning! I want my family to win a scavenger hunt-- scavenger search-- I mean, scavenger quest! Becky: Quest, search, hunt, they mean the same thing. You mean no one in our family has ever won a scavenger hunt? Mr. Botsford: No! Oh, Grampy Botsford once came close in seventy-two, but he folded under the pressure. Well, that’s not going to happen here, right? Mrs. Botsford: If you say so, dear. Mr. Botsford: That’s the spirit! Sort of. Now, let’s get going, team. As your group leader, I’ve divided our scavenger list into four parts. Mrs. Botsford: (reading her list) "Walnuts, a meteorite, a rubber chicken in a tuxedo"? Oh, what fun! Becky: (reading her list) "An autographed picture from a celebrity cat?" (Throws her hands up in frustration) Where are we gonna find that? Becky: Oh hey, Violet! What’s all that stuff you’re carrying? Violet: Oh, just some of the items my mom and I have collected for the quest so far. Only two more to go! (walks off) Mr. Botsford: (gasps) Let’s go, team! Move it! Move it! Mrs. Botsford: (waving) And everyone have fun! Mr. Botsford: (offscreen) I said move! Becky: Come on, Bob. We’ve got to find that autographed picture, a rare pink violet, and a pine cone in the shape of Abraham Lincoln. Becky: Wait, my super-hearing is picking something up. (gasps, and grabs Bob) Let’s go! Word UP! Dr. Two-Brains: Tobey, my lad, I must say your engineering is truly remarkable! Tobey: Well, thank you sir, but uh, you came up with the perfect metal. Dr. Two-Brains: (chuckles) Yeah, I know. Say, should we collaborate, you know, work together on what to call our evil genius creation? Tobey: Excellent idea! Hmm… uh, perhaps, um, Mouse Monster, or Robotzilla? Dr. Two-Brains: Hmm-- how about a little bit of both? Mousezilla! Tobey: I love it! To us! Dr. Two-Brains: To us! Tobey: WordGirl! (There is joy in his voice, but it quickly fades as he looks over at Two-Brains.) I- I mean, WordGirl. WordGirl: Tobey and Dr. Two-Brains collaborating? Isn’t playing well with others against evil villain rule number 344? Tobey: Rules are made to be broken. Besides, our collaboration is the best thing that’s ever happened to us! WordGirl: Come on, Huggy-- let’s take this metal mouse down! WordGirl: Ugh! Whoa, I didn’t even put a dent in it. Dr. Two-Brains: That’s because Mousezilla is made from one of my genius inventions-- platinum bircarphite number two-one-one. Tobey: Uh-uh- of course, without the aerodynamic design of your truly… Dr. Two-Brains: Although such a creation would have been impossible without the flexibility of my platinum! Tobey: Agreed… (clears throat) You see, uh, WordGirl, you might as well quit now, my new creation… Tobey: ...OUR new creation… is too advanced for you! WordGirl: We’ll see about that! Tobey: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I gave our creation a little special feature! Watch! Dr. Two-Brains: You didn’t run this by me! Tobey: Don’t worry, you’ll thank me! Dr. Two-Brains: You’re right, thank you! Well, that was easy! WordGirl: Hey! Whoa...... Tobey: Yes, uh, maybe a little… too easy. Dr. Two-Brains: To the cheese vault! Tobey: To the Really Tall State Building! Dr. Two-Brains: But first, to the cheese vault! (runs off) Tobey: Yes, of course. Heh-heh. WordGirl: Huggy, you all right? (He nods yes.) Mrs. Botsford: But dear, I’m positive the commotion came from over here. Mrs. Botsford: (gasps) It’s WordGirl! And Captain Huggy Face! Mr. Botsford: (gasps) Is that a pine cone you’re holding in the shape of Abraham Lincoln?? WordGirl: Umm… Mr. Botsford: Oh, no. Are you guys in the scavenger quest too? NOO!!! We’ll never beat the superheroes! They’re too super! WordGirl: Oh, no, uh, actually Becky found it! She told me to give it to you, since she’s so busy getting other stuff. Mr. Botsford: (taking the pine cone) Oh-ho-ho-ho, why, our Becky is so smart to have you helping her. We’re gonna win, we’re gonna win! Mrs. Botsford: But dear, I think it might be against the rules for Becky and WordGirl to collaborate. WordGirl: Uh, actually, we looked into that, and thanks to a technicality it’s okay. Mr. Botsford: Good enough for me! (Hugs the pine cone) Mrs. Botsford: But are you sure you and Captain Huggy Face have time for this scavenger quest? WordGirl: Don’t worry, we have every-- WordGirl: --reason to go right now! Word UP! (She takes off with Huggy.) Mr. Botsford: Oh, and if you happen to pass a pink violet, maybe you could grab it for us? Pretty please? Violet: Mommy! I found the four-leaf clover! Now we only have to find one more thing! Mr. Botsford: No!!! Mrs. Botsford: Oh, dear. (Pats him on the shoulder.) Narrator: Meanwhile, a fragile friendship is in danger of cracking. Tobey: Fine, yes, but now it’s time to seek and destroy. Dr. Two-Brains: In a minute, in a minute! Sheesh, you kid villains today-- so impatient! Tobey: Yes, well, you silver-haired veterans-- hmm, I’m still not sure why we have to keep stealing cheese! Dr. Two-Brains: I’m not sure why we’re just wrecking buildings! Tobey: Well, with all due respect, if not for my ingenious energy bubble, we’d still be fighting WordGirl and that monkey. Therefore, I should decide Mousezilla’s activities. Dr. Two-Brains: If it weren’t for the fortified metal, which I created-- Tobey: By accident! Dr. Two-Brains: Yeah, so? This collaboration would not have taken place if I hadn’t-- Tobey: (excited) WordGirl! Oh, you just can’t get enough of me, can you? WordGirl: Uh, not exactly. Word UP! Dr. Two-Brains: A-ha! Tobey: Wait-- since when do the whiskers do that? Dr. Two-Brains: Oh, since I tweaked them Tobey: I thought this was a collaboration. Dr. Two-Brains: A collaboration is also based on trust, Tobey. Tobey: Yeah, a collaboration is based on mutual discussion-- Dr. Two-Brains: If you don’t trust me to act on my own, then what kind of a-- Tobey: You should put your two brains together and find out what a collaboration actually means! Dr. Two-Brains: We need to get supervillain team-up counseling. Narrator: Uh-oh! Will WordGirl ever free herself from Mousezilla’s metal mouse whiskers? Dr. Two-Brains: Come on, let’s put the squeeze on her for good! (Presses a button, and the whiskers tighten.) Tobey: No-- surely we can think of a much more diabolical way to teach her a lesson! Dr. Two-Brains: We both know you’re just stalling because you have a silly schoolboy crush on her! Tobey: I do not! Narrator: Do too, do too! Tobey: Stay out of this! Crowd Member #1: It’s Bootsy the Cat! Crowd Member #2: Hey, it's Bootsy the Cat! Crowd Member #3: Look over here, Bootsy! WordGirl: Huggy, look! It’s Bootsy the Cat, star of the film "Sir Kitty"! WordGirl: But it IS a big deal! We need to get her autographed picture for the scavenger quest! WordGirl: Okay, Mousezilla first, then autograph. Tobey: Oh please, I did ninety percent of the work! So much for an equal collaboration! Dr. Two-Brains: You’re right, child, it wasn’t equal, because I did all of-- Dr. Two-Brains: AHHHH! A CAT! Tobey: Oh, are we afraid of a little cat? A little bitty kitty cat?! Tobey: Kitty, kitty, kitty! Dr. Two-Brains: Keep away, keep away! Dr. Two-Brains: Oh yeah, well at least I don’t love WordGirl, like you do! Tobey: Well, you’re afraid of a little kitty, kitty kitty! Meow, meow, meow! Dr. Two-Brains: Love, love, love! Tobey: (singing) Dr. Two-Brains, he sees the kitty and he goes "eek"-- WordGirl: Great job, Huggy! Let’s see if this mouse can swim! HYAH! Tobey: (singing) Meow, meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow MEOW! Dr. Two-Brains: (singing to the tune of "Here comes the bride") Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love-- Tobey: That’s it-- our collaboration is OVER! Dr. Two-Brains: Hmph! Finally we agree. Tobey: Uh-- where are we? Dr. Two-Brains: And why are we in handcuffs? Dr. Two-Brains and Tobey: (together) Whoops. WordGirl: That about wraps it up, right? Narrator: Except for the “B” plot. WordGirl: The scavenger quest! Right. (clears her throat) Excuse me, Mr. Bootsy, uh, any chance we could get an autograph? Mr. Botsford: I found a spotted owl! Mrs. Botsford: I found an ancient arrowhead! TJ Botsford: And I found a pair of nineteenth-century gym socks. They weren’t on the list, I just found them. Becky: Autographed picture of a celebrity cat! Mr. Botsford: We won! We found everything on the quest list! Becky: Wait, we’re forgetting something. A pink violet! Mr. Botsford: (crying) OOOH, IT’S OVER! We lost! Mrs. Botsford: Oh, cheer up dear. I’m sure every team had trouble finding something on their list. Mayor: Acorn, blue jay feather, mood ring, tiki torch, lounging lizard-- uh-huh, all here! Next? Mr. Botsford: Look, we’ve got everything except the pink violet. Becky: Wait! We HAVE got it! Becky: Here’s the rarest Violet of them all. And she’s wearing pink! Mayor: Becky Botsford, I commend you on your creativity. Mr. Botsford: WE WON! WE WON! Mayor: But, a girl named Violet wearing a pink shirt doesn’t cut it. Sorry. (He makes a sound like a “you lose” buzzer on a gameshow.) Mr. Botsford: NOOOOO! Oh, Grampy! We came so close! Narrator: And so, we learn that a collaboration of evil geniuses isn’t always a good thing. See you next time as we go on a new quest for adventure in another exciting episode of… WordGirl!
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