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| - Muscle Man: Not too much off the top, Tony. Everything's got to be perfect. Tonight's my one-year anniversary with Starla. Tony: Where you guys headed? Muscle Man: A bunch of us are gonna get our skate on at the roller rink. That's why I'm getting my hair cut and everything. Tony: Sounds like a big deal. Muscle Man: Yeah, but I've got it all figured out, though. I pre-requested the deejay to play our song at the end of the night. Tony: Oh, boy, she's gonna love that. (He blow dries Muscle Man's hair) Muscle Man: Yeah, I know. Tony: All right. You're all done. Muscle Man: Thanks, Tony. Tony: Don't mention it. You look great, kid. Hi Five Ghost: Muscle Man, what's the matter?! Muscle Man: What do you think's the matter? I'm bald! (He shows Hi Five Ghost the bald patch on his head) Hi Five Ghost: Whoa! Muscle Man: I can't let Starla see me like this! Hi Five Ghost: It's not that bad. Muscle Man: Yes it is! If she sees me bald, she's gonna dump me! I just have to figure out a way to keep Starla from finding out that I'm bald. Benson: No, no, no, no, no. Muscle Man: What? Benson: It's not party time. It's work time. Get rid of the hat. Muscle Man: Aw, come on, Benson! Benson: You know the rules. No oversized novelty hats on work time. Muscle Man: Fine! Benson: Whoa. Muscle Man: Is it that noticeable? Benson: Yes. But don't worry. Lots of guys are bald and they're really cool. (Happily) I mean, look at me! Muscle Man: Come on, Benson, just give me back the hat! Benson: Sorry, Muscle Man, but you know the rules. (He shreds the Sombrero in the shredder) Muscle Man: Ugh! (He hits the wall with his right fist, and leaves) Benson: Punching the wall isn't gonna grow it back! I already tried. Skips: You're not fooling anyone. Muscle Man: What are you talking about? Skips: Your comb-over. Muscle Man: Aw, MAN! Muscle Man (continued): How can you tell?! (Skips shows Muscle Man his bald spot) Muscle Man (continued): Whoa. Skips: It's all right. You get used to it. Muscle Man: Really? Skips: Yeah, in about 400 years. Mordecai: Hey, Muscle Man. You ready to get your skate on tonight? Muscle Man: You know it, bro. (The hairspray melts on his face) Muscle Man (continued): I'm gonna show all you fools how it's done! Rigby: What's wrong with your hair, dude? Muscle Man: What? Muscle Man (continued): (Angrily) Man! This stuff was expensive! Rigby: Whoa. I didn't know you were bald. Mordecai: Uh, see you tonight, Muscle Man. Muscle Man: I guess I'm gonna have to tell Starla the truth. Starla: Mitch, where are you? Muscle Man: Happy one-year anniversary, baby. Starla: Oh, Mitch! Thank you. Muscle Man: Starla, I have to tell you something. I'm... bald. (Starla laughs) Muscle Man (continued): (Nervously) Why are you laughing, babe? Starla: How could you possibly think I'd love a bald man? Muscle Man: Who's that, babe? Starla: He's my new boyfriend. (Aggressive tone) He's not bald. Muscle Man: No! Starla: (On phone) Police! Arrest my ex. He's bald! Muscle Man: What? No, babe! Muscle Man (continued): Noooooooooo! Hi Five Ghost: Hey, that's my mirror! Muscle Man: (Shaking High Five Ghost) What am I gonna do, Fives?! Hi Five Ghost: Geez, relax! Starla's not gonna care, man. Muscle Man: Are you kidding?! The only things I have going for me are my flowing mane and my rippling muscles. Hi Five Ghost: Well, at least you still got your muscles. Muscle Man: Yeah, I guess that's true. Muscle Man (continued): Man, you remember last summer at the water park? I had to stop flexing 'cause Starla couldn't keep her hands off me. Whoa, whoa, I just thought of something. Hi Five Ghost: What? Muscle Man: If I keep flexing these babies, then maybe Starla won't notice I'm bald! Hi Five Ghost: Oh, yeah, that could work. Muscle Man: Dude! Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost: Flex the pecs! Hoo! Mordecai: Did you see that? I bet I could do that. Margaret: Yeah, in your dreams. Eileen: (Grabbing Rigby) Come on, Rigby. It'll be fun! Starla: (Skates up to Hi Five Ghost) Hey, Fives, have you seen Mitch? Hi Five Ghost: He should be here by now. Mordecai: Dude, why does Muscle Man keep flexing his pecs like that? Margaret: I don't know, it's gross! But oddly hypnotic... Muscle Man: Happy anniversary, baby. Starla: Oh, Mitch, you're such a charmer. Starla: (Laughs) Mitch, will you lift me? Muscle Man: Uh, sure, babe. Starla: (Laughs again after he lifts her up) Mitch. Muscle Man: (Laughs as his eye twitches) Starla. Starla: Hey, babe, are you all right? Muscle Man: Yeah, why wouldn't I be all right? Starla: Well, you look a little tired. Muscle Man: What? No, I don't. I look normal. See? (He makes a weird face and tries to stop his pecs from flexing) Hang on. (He lets go of Starla) Starla: Hey, where you going? Muscle Man : (Backs out of the rink) I got to use it! Muscle Man (continued): My pecs are killing me. But it's only a little longer till they play our song. I just have to make it through that song! (He starts straining himself, and fails. He takes a deep breath and tries again.) Come on! (He starts flexing his pecs again.) Come on! Do it for her! STARLA! Hi Five Ghost: Yeah, I liked their first album. Starla: Fives, could you check on Mitch? He's been in the bathroom for a while. Hi Five Ghost: Sure. (Fives goes inside the bathroom, which looks a lot brighter than before.) Whoa. Muscle Man: Who is that?! Get out of here! Hi Five Ghost: Muscle Man? Muscle Man: Fives? Is that you? Hi Five Ghost: Are you okay? Muscle Man: Don't come in here, bro! Hi Five Ghost: (gasps) Dude, what happened?! Muscle Man: I was trying to keep flexing, so I started punching and slapping them and stuff, and now they're going crazy! They won't stop! Hi Five Ghost: Well, dude, Starla's looking for you! Muscle Man: I can't go back out there, Fives! DJ: All right, boys and girls, it's your last chance to grab that special someone because it's the last song of the night! Muscle Man: Oh, no! That's the song I requested! Hi Five Ghost: If you don't get out there and skate with Starla, it'll ruin your whole anniversary! Starla: Mitch! You remembered our song. Muscle Man: How could I ever forget? You're the best thing that ever skated into my life. Guy #1: Hey, where you going, ladies? Guy #2: They just ditched us for that loser! Starla: Huh? Muscle Man: Get off of me! Starla: Aaah! Get your hands off my man! Guy #2: Let's get our chicks back! Guy #2: If you think you can take our girlfriends, you got another thing coming! Muscle Man: I didn't take your girls! Guy #2: Hold him still. Muscle Man: Let go, bro! Guy #2: Let's see how strong those muscles really are! Guy #1: Oh, man! You burned my face! Girl: Aah! I love you! Starla: Get off of him! Girl Skaters: Muscle Man! Starla: Mitch, why do you keep flexing your pecs? Muscle Man: I... (gets grabbed by a guy skater) don't... know what you're talking about! Starla: You're being weird! Muscle Man: No! You're being weird! Starla: Oh, whatever! That's just what you say when you're being weird! Muscle Man: I'm not being weird! Muscle Man (continued): Hey, watch the hair! Starla: Mitch, don't you lie to me! Are you flexing your pecs because you want the other girls to notice you? Muscle Man: No way, babe! Boy skater: Aah! Starla: Are you trying to break up with me? Muscle Man: No! Starla: You are, aren't you?! Muscle Man: No, I'm not! Starla: Yes, you are! You're trying to break up with ME-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E! Muscle Man: Baby, no! You're the only one I love! Starla: You're lying! Muscle Man: No, I'm not! I can't stop flexing my pecs, okay?! Starla: What? Why not? Muscle Man: I can't stop flexing my pecs because... Starla: Because what, Mitch? Muscle Man: Because... I- I... Starla: If you don't tell me right now, I'm gonna walk right out that door. Muscle Man: I can't stop flexing because... I didn't want you to know that I'm bald! Guy #1: You make me sick, baldy. Sick! Girl #2: I can't believe he's bald. Muscle Man: You hate me now, don't you? Starla: Aw, Mitch. I don't care that you have a bald spot. It happens to a lot of guys. Muscle Man: So? I still look like an animal. A disgusting, middle-aged-looking animal. Starla: It's okay, Mitch. It's what's inside this disgusting, middle-aged-looking animal that counts. Muscle Man: What? Starla: There's stubble on your head. You're not going bald. You just got a bad haircut. Muscle Man: That's why I love you, baby. Mordecai: Uh, so I guess we'll catch you guys later or something?
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