abstract
| - Nostalgia Chick: Really and truly crapping on movies made by people far more successful than anyone you’ve had anything to do with is not easy work. But sometimes you have to ask yourself: why do these things exist? Are they, the product of a creative spark somewhere? Or, are they a studio mandate for ‘em to hand to a third-grade production house? NCh (VO): (Clips of The Return of Jafar) In 1994, The Return of Jafar was released on home video, starting a plague of direct-to-video (Clip from Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World) sequels to all of the most (clip from Beauty and the Beast: Belle’s Magical World) popular Disney films, (clip from Brother Bear 2) and some of the less popular ones (clip from Bambi 2) and some... eh.... (Clips of Hunchback II, Bambi 2 and The Fox and the Hound 2) Either way, over 30 direct-to-video sequels, prequels, and midquels have been produced. (Clip of DisneyToon Studios logo intro) These were all made by DisneyToon Studios, the production house responsible for Disney’s animated television series. NCh: And lets get this straight. At best, they’re OK, at worst, they’re awful and they only serve to make the studio look bad. Worse. NCh (VO): (Clips of Return of Jafar, Hunchback II, The Lion King II, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas and The Fox and the Hound 2) As they were made by television people with television assets and budgets, they look like TV shows, they are paced like TV shows, they have the stakes of a TV episode. NCh: And I will be the first to conceive that original thought probably was not allowed in most of these things because of a studio mandate to keep them as close to the source material as possible. NCh (VO): BRAND. NAME. RECOGNITION. NCh (VO): (Clip of Mulan II followed by Shrek, The Little Mermaid 2 and Cinderella II) And in light of the decline of 2D and the rise of Pixar and Dreamworks 3D animation, these things make the studio look like money grubbing whores. NCh: Which they are. But, if we look at these movies as art pieces rather than a, quick cash-in made for stupid children who need to be babysat by Uncle Television for an hour, most of them just don’t seem to, get, the original movies that they’re based off of, which is kinda impressive ‘cause, it’s Disney. NCh (VO): (Clip of Pocahontas II) And I don’t wanna hear: “Nugh, why didn’t you include this one, this ones even worse!” NCh: If I didn’t include it, I didn’t take... as much, issue with it so here we go this is MY: Top! (Image of the word “TOP” appears in big letters and will do so for the rest of the title) Ten! (“TEN”) Worst! (“WORST”) Disney! Sequels! (“DISNEY SEQUELS”) or midquels or three-part-never-existed-television-series-quels. Let’s begin...
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