The cost of university and college research fees are paid by the International Rodent Scholar Trust Fund. In addition, Rodent Scholars receive a monthly maintenance supply of food and water, which may or may not be laced with mutation-inducing radiation. The value of a Rodent Scholarship varies depending on the academic field and the success of the research undertaken. For example, an American Rodent Scholar who successfully grows a human ear on his back may be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars; by contrast, a Rodent Scholar who is force-fed a diet of pure cocaine and dies within minutes may actually count as a negative value due to the cost of disposing of its drug-addled corpse.
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