| abstract
| - Voting is compulsory, same-sex marriages are increasingly common, all recreational drugs are legal, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, a well-funded social safety net protects the unfortunate, Socialist Kentucky’s children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region, cardinals are considered a delicacy, the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas, all industry is owned and run by the government, citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked, the automotive industry soaks up huge government handouts. Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes. A well-funded social safety net protects the unfortunate. Socialist Kentucky’s children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region. Cardinals are considered a delicacy. The mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas. All industry is owned and run by the government. Citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked. The automotive industry soaks up huge government handouts. Organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region. All major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras. High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. Political parties are banned from advertising and receiving private donations. Military spending is on the increase. The tenet of free speech is held dear. Gambling is outlawed. Fur coats have become the latest fashion trend, the government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, the government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices, heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste and avoid even more costly cleanup costs, an enfeebled opposition party spends most of its time simply trying to stay on the ballot, the government seizes the property of the recently deceased, major cities are suffering under water rationing, Socialist Kentucky has been greatly criticized for its isolationist policies, scientists recently cloned the long-extinct feather-bellied cardinal, children are raised bilingual from an early age, refugees from other nations are flocking to Socialist Kentucky's border, the nation has an international reputation for compassion, traveler camps regularly block five-lane superhighways, skate parks can be found in every city, torture is illegal, the government is spending millions on renovating the public transportation system, the government is cutting back on the number of political prisoners executed each year, gigantic new prisons are springing up all over the nation, the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields, Animal Liberationists are regularly jailed, artists are pillars of society, there's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt, a ban on unsolicited cold calling in all forms is in effect, all forms of advertising are banned, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news, Red Cross demand for body bags are rising while sutures are decreasing, the people are famous throughout the region for their bleached-white teeth, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages, the people elect the Supreme Court justices directly, all-natural foods are becoming a major fad, a niche industry catering to S&M enthusiasts has sprung up, the police force is on a recruitment drive, the children of Socialist Kentucky are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence, the nation's youth is held blameless for all crimes, government officials frequently cut taxes as a distraction from antics with their secretaries, guns are banned, government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders, bizarre-looking creatures called 'deerdogs' dominate wildlife preserves, streakers swamp all public events in order to bare it all, the government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress, Socialist Kentucky is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, truth is often impossible to tell from fiction on the evening news, Socialist Kentucky's educational system is the envy of many and regarded as a pinnacle of educational achievement, people are now classified as male, female, or genderqueer, citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits, abortions are routinely performed in Socialist Kentucky's hospitals, all beauty contests have been banned, people reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight, the government is avowedly atheist, there has been a series of riots between local cannibals and health food advocates, prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams, children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "Love and peace!" as a way of life, euthanasia is illegal, parents live in fear of governmental 'child protection' squads, cars are banned from built-up areas , a weakened police force struggles to maintain law and order, the average commuter spends four hours a day driving to and from work, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, postmen have been arrested in job lots for selling junk mail as home insulation, the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers, female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast, citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens, scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, government-run brothels can be found on every street corner, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews, eminent domain has been abolished, religious organizations are being forced to leave the country or pay income taxes like everybody else, corporations are forbidden from employing outside the nation, army rations are served on silver platters, programs of questionable content are shown at peak-hours, anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper, the death penalty has been reintroduced, and the nation is ravaged by daily union strikes, the nation is ravaged by daily union strikes, an underground movement of cigarette smokers has sprung up in response to a government ban, cheese has become the new icon of political dissent, high school principals regularly send armed truancy patrols to drag problem students to school, the sound of wooden legs echo throughout Socialist Kentucky after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax, crime suspects are forced to submit to blood testing, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, re-education centers are being added to most prisons, the words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence, graffiti graces every city's streets, schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes, the poor are often seen pale and dizzy after selling their blood to make ends meet, councils up and down the country wrangle over legal matters, pharmacies close down as medicinal drugs are sold freely by the government, organ donation rates have hit a new low, citizens are remarkably well involved in the political process, children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban, a referendum must be held in order for any new law to be passed, the nation is currently revamping its entire education system, and voting has become a nightmare since everyone keeps selecting "None of the above", the mob and the police have recently had numerous clashes in the back alleys of Socialist Kentucky's cities due to the government's steadfast anti-casino stance, 'The Anti-Government Hour' is a popular programme on many of Socialist Kentucky's radio stations, retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites, the people of Socialist Kentucky are renowned for their nihilistic attitudes, the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place, the nation is famous for having one of the world's largest deer hunting institutions, convicted murderers are free to walk the streets provided they attend rehabilitation classes, the government is forced to pander to the will of every fruitcake politician, police spend their Saturday nights breaking up illegal street races, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, anti-government web sites are springing up, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, strategic bombers are being converted into preschools, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature', billions of dollars are being blown on orbital weapons development, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, the number of students attending university has reached a record high, Members of Parliament are often found living in cardboard boxes, the study of medicine is popular throughout Socialist Kentucky, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations,Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper, citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", recent protests against birds flying too low have resulted in bloodshed, and people faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations. long arduous trials are held for the most trivial of offences, Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper, citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", recent protests against birds flying too low have resulted in bloodshed, people faint regularly as they get stuck with compulsory vaccinations, citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over Socialist Kentucky, the Socialist Kentucky Enquirer offers weekly cash prizes for 'most blasphemous song, story, or cartoon', manufacturers are sued for almost anything not covered in their catalogue-sized manuals, teenagers across the country are celebrating the defeat of a national curfew bill, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events, citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages, torture is illegal, police officers are seen patrolling the streets armed with satellite-guided truncheons, all mothers are allowed six months fully-paid maternity leave, traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways, the government pours millions of dollars into rehabilitation programs annually, deers are frequently shot for looking at people 'in a funny way' , the automotive industry soaks up huge government handouts, armed police units patrol the roads late at night, the nation is currently revamping its entire education system, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws, all major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras, a government program is underway to revitalize Socialist Kentucky's beaches, people reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight, the nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields, meat-eating is frowned upon, Members of Parliament operate under a PAYE scheme, long arduous trials are held for the most trivial of offences, the government is making attempts at curtailing the flood of spam emails with little progress, the government's new 'Crime Can Fight Itself' policy appears to be backfiring rather badly, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, the nation's youth is held blameless for all crimes, refugees from other nations are flocking to Socialist Kentucky's border, euthanasia is illegal, government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders, streakers swamp all public events in order to bare it all, computer users are buried daily in thousands of unsolicited emails, female newsreaders distract the nation by breastfeeding during broadcast, the tenet of free speech is held dear, and bizarre-looking creatures called 'deerdogs' dominate wildlife preserves.
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