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| - Critically burnt as a toddler, his parents arranged him to grow long hair for the rest of his life, and as the burn had destroyed his intellect, installed a discreet installation of a Latin/Greek dictionary (L/G.D) in an unspecified niche of his skull; then changed his name from David Incandenza to David Foster Wallace. The native of New York lucubrated in Poonoma University, making a living out of kitten huffing performances. Suddenly he realized that he could breed long hair, act stylish and over-educated, then make a living out of cranking elongated articles ab absurdo. He was once espoused with three dictionaries - Penguin English Dictionary (P.E.D.), Merriam Webster's (Third International Edition) (M.W.T.I.E), and Roget's Thesaurus, 1979 Edition (R.T.1979.E) - and had an array of hybr
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| abstract
| - Critically burnt as a toddler, his parents arranged him to grow long hair for the rest of his life, and as the burn had destroyed his intellect, installed a discreet installation of a Latin/Greek dictionary (L/G.D) in an unspecified niche of his skull; then changed his name from David Incandenza to David Foster Wallace. The native of New York lucubrated in Poonoma University, making a living out of kitten huffing performances. Suddenly he realized that he could breed long hair, act stylish and over-educated, then make a living out of cranking elongated articles ab absurdo. He was once espoused with three dictionaries - Penguin English Dictionary (P.E.D.), Merriam Webster's (Third International Edition) (M.W.T.I.E), and Roget's Thesaurus, 1979 Edition (R.T.1979.E) - and had an array of hybrid infants, respectively named David, Foster, and Wallace. At the age of 27, he had a lengthy affair with a "red, sleek and arousing" Oxford's Dictionary, Eleventh Edition, one which he called a "delectatio morosa". "The slightly rough, laminated covers and the discreet 250,000 definitions skyrocketed me into a sense of heightened euphoria," he once spoke in a press conference, "and upon the opening of her pages, brought me to an extreme specter of ecstasy." This eventually led to the divorce with his three dictionaries, whose legal battle for child custody became the most unimportant lawsuit since Alien vs. Predator. He spoke of this experience in one of his most recognized works, Something Supposedly Fun That I'll Never, Never Do Again (Honeys, I Swear) is a 100-page about the lengthy affair. A condensed edition appeared in Hustler magazine, in a report of Ten Sexy Fetishes!. Wallace was not satisfied with this edition as Hustler had edited out 53 of his end notes, and famously declared his motto, "Footnote, ergo sum." After this self-described "traumatic incident", he returned to "a deep sea of depression" and cranking out an auto-biographical Infinite Pest, a 500-page-long novel to "have a final say on my life". To the disappointment of many, that was not the end of his life and thus he returned to work on Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, where critics said is "Wallace in his most honest...and egotistical." Finally weary of writing about his own life, he sunk into great lethargy, trying to have sex with chicks in some tennis academy, but only succeeded in having it with tennis balls, and lobsters, which were "his current object d'amour". His essay, Consider The Lobster, was about this relationship. Sadly, when the lobsters "undermined my sex appeal", he started looked for a higher being. Then he found one. Fifty years later, he died happily in her arms. The end.
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