| abstract
| - (Cuts inside the bathroom with Shrek wearing a gas mask)
* Shrek: Well donkey, Unless the kid has a gas mask I don't recommend him coming in here. I'm making bio chemical warfare with my crap.
* Mario: Well Shrek, Do you plan on coming out the bathroom anytime soon?
* Shrek: Uh, Sorry donkey because this is gonna be an all day thing.
* Mario: (Sighs) Well, thanks a lot Shrek.
* (Jeffy is snoring)
* Mario: Oh, What happened here?
* Rosalina: Oh Pooperman just got 'POOPED-out!' (laughs) You think it's funny 'cause it's a... 'cause it's a 'pooped out'! Pooperman!
* Mario: I got it.
* (Jeffy snoring)
* Mario: So my friend can't watch Jeffy.
* Rosalina: Well why not?
* Mario: Because he's pooping too.
* Rosalina: Oh.
* Mario: Well everyone's pooping so I don't have anyone to watch him. So I guess we can't go to our date again.
* Rosalina: Wait, Don't you have that one black friend?
* Mario: What? Black Yoshi? Uh no he can not watch Jeffy. He will... You don't watch him to watch Jeffy 'cause he will not take any of Jeffy's crap'.
* Rosalina: What? I met him and he was very nice.
* Mario: Black Yoshi does not take crap from people.
* Rosalina: Mario I'm sure he'll be fine.
* Mario: I'll ask him if you want me too. I'll ask him. I just... He's just gonna make some ridiculous request and it's gonna be more trouble than it's worth.
* (Mario heads to the kitchen and sees Black Yoshi making Kool-Aid cupcakes)
* Black Yoshi: Yeah boi!
* Mario: Black Yoshi what are you doing?
* Black Yoshi: Oh I'm making er... making Kool-Aid cupcakes folk so do you want some?
* Mario: Kool-Aid cupcakes? I never heard of that before.
* Black Yoshi: Oh yeah, We do it in the hood all the time folk, We got EBT cards we get some kool aid and boi!!!!!! We're making some kool aid cupcakes.
* Mario: Oh well I need a favor from you Black Yoshi.
* Black Yoshi: Oh what's good Mario what'd you want?
* Mario: Well see, Me and Rosalina have this kid.
* Black Yoshi: Ohh! You had a kid folk! Congratulations. I think you're stupid because now she got you for 18 years.
* Mario: It's not... No we did not have a kid.
* Black Yoshi: Oh so you adopted a kid folk, You're even more stupid because what's the point of having a kid unless you make the kid y'all know what I'm saying? BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
* Mario: Well, okay. The kid showed up at the door.
* Black Yoshi: Oh! Nowit's a black kid?
* Mario: What? No! look look look... I just need you to babysit this kid for me while me and Rosalina go to our wedding.
* Black Yoshi: Ooh! Mario, I don't do no babysitting folk. I don't do no babysitting.
* Mario: Well, Black Yoshi, look, You don't really have to babysit. Just let him play your Xbox.
* Black Yoshi: What?
* Mario: Well let this kid play your Xbox just for a few hours.
* Black Yoshi: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... Pshhhhhhhhhhhh.
* Mario: Uh Black Yoshi?
* (Black Yoshi giggles while getting his glock)
* Black Yoshi: What?
* Mario: Uhhh Black Yoshi, look look look I understand you don't want anyone playing your Xbox, but he's just a kid He doesn't have to play your Call Of Duty he can play any game. Just please let him play with your Xbox, I'll pay you 100 dollars.
* Black Yoshi: Oh.
* Mario: 100 dollars, Black Yoshi!
* Black Yoshi: 100 dollars?
* Mario: Yes.
* Black Yoshi: Oh man Mario, I don't know about that 'cause usually I don't even consider it unless you know I was like about 4-500 dollars.
* Mario: 4-500 dollars?! I can buy him an Xbox, Black Yoshi. Come on a reasonable price!
* Black Yoshi: (sighs) You know what Mario? I'll do it for 200.
* Mario: 200... 200 dollars.
* Black Yoshi: Yeah man, (Slurps on a watermelon sucker) You want some watermelon?
* Mario: No. Er deal! Okay I'll do it for 200 dollars okay?
* Black Yoshi: Alright folk.
* Mario: and you gotta let him play with your Xbox for a few hours. Okay?
* Black Yoshi: Fine folk, Let me put the cupcakes in the oven and I'll go meet him.
* (Jeffy is asleep)
* Mario: Okay Black Yoshi, so this is Jeffy.
* Rosalina: Oh, he said yes.
* Mario: (shut up just give me a second)
* Black Yoshi: Oh. er, Mario, real quick. But why's he got a bicycle helmet on his head?
* Rosalina: Well that's so he doesn't hurt hims....
* Mario: No no no (shut up) It's because he's got just done riding a bicycle. yeah.
* Black Yoshi: Oh okay er and the pencil in his nose? What's that about folk?
* Mario: Oh he has a pencil in his nose because he er... He fell off his bicycle and landed on a pencil.
* Rosalina: Mario.
* Mario: (Shut up)
* Black Yoshi: Oh er alright folk.
* Mario: Yeah so that's pretty much it, Jeffy mostly sleeps he doesn't really make any nose and if he wakes up, just you know give him your Xbox and let him play, But other than that he's a perfect angel and he doesn't make any noise.
* Rosalina: But Mario:
* Mario: Let's go! let's go! let's go! See you in a few hours Black Yoshi!
* Black Yoshi: Alright folk have a good date, So er so this is Jeffy?
* (Jeffy wakes up)
* Jeffy: Ah! It's so dark in here! I can't see! I can't see!
* Black Yoshi: Folk, the helmet's in front of your eyes.
* Jeffy: Hey, Who are you?
* Black Yoshi: Er I'm Black Yoshi i'm gonna be babysitting you while your mommy and daddy are on a date. Okay? So er (grabs the Xbox controller) Oh so this is the... This is my Xbox controller right here and erm your gonna play some Grand Theft Auto so okay? 'cause you can't play any other game except for Grand Theft Auto. So all you gotta do, Is just sit here play the game. don't put the controller in your mouth or your nose or diaper. Or anything like that. don't break my controller folk okay? I gotta go get my cupcakes out of the oven alright?
* Jeffy: Grand Theft Auto? Xbox? (hits the controller) What doing?
* (Grand Theft Auto 5 starts)
* Jeffy: Oh hey, Mr. police officer man! What doing?
* (punches the cop)
* Jeffy: Oh no! I didn't mean to do that! Don't shoot! I did do nothing! I did do nothing!
* (Gasps when he sees the wasted screen)
* Jeffy: I died????? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
* (Grabs the Xbox One)
* Jeffy: Stupid Xbox!
* (Throws it off the balcony and then breaks)
* Black Yoshi: Yeah so the cupcakes ain't done yet...(Sees his broken Xbox One destroyed by Jeffy)
* Jeffy: I'm sorry.
* (Black Yoshi gets triggered)
* (Mario and Rosalina return)
* Rosalina: Thank you so much for taking me out all day Mario, I had so much fun!
* Mario: No problem baby, I had a fun time too so I'll see you tomorrow.
* Rosalina: Are you sure you don't want me to stay and help you with Jeffy?
* Mario: Well I'm pretty sure Black Yoshi has it covered, I'll see you tomorrow.
* Rosalina: Okay bye!
* Mario: Bye.
* (Black Yoshi tied Jeffy up and he put a grenade in his mouth)
* (Jeffy Screams)
* Black Yoshi: Yeah! Scream all you want! Scream all you want! 'Cause your still gonna die! Your still gonna die Jeffy!
* (Mario arrives)
* Mario: WHAT'S GOING ON BLACK YOSHI?!!!
* Black Yoshi: Oh! Let me tell you what's going on Mario! So your pet retard decided he was gonna throw my Xbox off the third-story balcony, And WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?!!!
* Mario: I... I don't know Black Yoshi. I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!
* Black Yoshi: Hmm! Me too.
* Mario: Black Yoshi what are you gonna do?!!!
* Black Yoshi: Oh I'm gonna kill him folk. He's gonna die!
* Mario: Black Yoshi look! You can't kill him you can't back to jail. Look how about this? How about you take your Xbox to Gamestop and see how much money you will get for it, Maybe you will have enough money to get a new Xbox. Huh? Just give him a chance. Come on.
* Black Yoshi: Alright but you luck Jeffery. You lucky Jeffery.
* Mario: Okay let's go Gamestop real quick and see if they give you enough money for it.
* Black Yoshi: Alright folk.
* (Black Yoshi is at Gamestop)
* Brooklyn T. Guy: Er can I help you sir?
* Black Yoshi: Well I'd like to trade in my Xbox One for some cash.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: For cash?
* Black Yoshi: Yeah.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: Alright, how much you looking to get for this?
* Black Yoshi: Er well, This piece right here is 3D so the bit piece out, So er that's about 50 dollars.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: $50 dollars?
* Black Yoshi: And we got this thing. Oh Xbox logo on it, worth a lot of money and popular. Er 25 dollars. And heres the grill looking fresh, This was about 250 on Ebay but I'll let you have 5 dollars. And then this thing right here so you got the fan a built-in fan and there's a game stuck in it too. I'll let this one go for about 250. Or if your feeling really right we could do 400. For the lot the whole thing.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: 400 dollars for all this?
* Black Yoshi: 400 dollars.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: I mean... I'm gonna have to ask the boss about this, Hey Carson, This guy wants 400 dollars for what's left of an Xbox One.
* Black Yoshi: It's all here!
* Carson: Yes it's definitely an Xbox One, Seems like it fell exactly three-story's high from a balcony. It must have been... Actually you know what? You can kinda take a look at this exact bump from 19 degrees from three-story's.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: 100 % right, So....
* Black Yoshi: So what?
* Brooklyn T. Guy: I think we're gonna have to talk this over:
* Black Yoshi: Wait hold on, Hold on what about 250?
* Brooklyn T. Guy: 2 dollars 50 cents?
* Black Yoshi: No 250 dollars I gotta do it. 250 dollars.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: You know we'll talk about this.
* Carson: Yeah we'll talk about this.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: We could just throw him the hell out.(mumbling and turn back to Black Yoshi)
* Carson and Brooklyn T. Guy: Get the hell out.
* Black Yoshi: Uh but? Okay right, what about 25 dollars?
* Brooklyn T. Guy: Nope. not even 25 dollars sorry.
* Black Yoshi: But there's a game in there.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: Out!
* Black Yoshi: But there's a fan and a cooling system. The wires are still here.
* Brooklyn T. Guy: Go!
* Black Yoshi: (sighs) Y'all gonna regret this, I'm gonna put it on craigslist. I'm gonna put it on Ebay. I'm gonna regret this.
* (Black Yoshi returns from Gamestop with the broken Xbox)
* Black Yoshi: Alright Jeffery. Today is not your lucky day! I took my Xbox to Gamestop. and they didn't give me a single dime! So you gonna die today Jeffery.
* Mario: Black Yoshi, Just think about it don't kill him over the Xbox I mean, I hate Jeffy I really hate him but he's just a kid.
* Black Yoshi: Well I ain't go sleepover Mario
* Mario: Black Yoshi come on, just think about it, He really is stupid just don't kill him come on.
* Black Yoshi: Well are you gonna buy me a new Xbox? I mean your already going to, so I mean come on.
* Mario: You know what fine kill him. kill him.
* (Black Yoshi shoots Jeffy but it is really a dream)
* Mario: Oh man, Oh it was just a dream, It was the best dream ever. Jeffy died oh my god!
* Jeffy: Erm...Daddy?
* Mario: What?
* Jeffy: I pooped the bed. I pooped the bed daddy.
* (Mario gets triggered)
* (End of video)
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