abstract
| - Ancient Chinese Medicine (also known as ACME) includes a wide array of weird shit originating in the Land of Rice and Pointy Hats (a.k.a. China). It is considered as effective as witchcraft in many civilized countries, however, it is the ONLY form of medical care in third-world countries, such as Asia, Disneyland and Detroit. ACME's more common practices include smoking and ingesting the stickiest of the icky herbs, stabbing needles into deranged peasents with bad teeth, eating weird shit, as well as trips to low budget massage parlors fully equipped with young asian girls that know zeroEnglish except "Sucky sucky, me love you long time," "No boom-boom soul brotha -- too buku," "You no want happy ending?," and "You pay NOW!" ACME theory is extremely complex and originated thousands of years ago through the meticulous observation of gooks, chinks, wops, degos, honkies, greasers, spics, camel jockies, niggers, junkies, sluts, monkies, and the filthy Irish. Major theories include those of Yin-yang, alchemy, Brian Peppers, Kung Fu, 11-herbs and spices, and anorexia.
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