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| - With secretive members who rank highest in the world's food chain, the Bohemian Grove has become a subject intentionally encouraging numerous speculations and stealth trespassing by the less intelligent commoners of the human race. For extreme reality theorists, especially those who suffer from acute inferiority complexes, such as Alex Jones, the Grove is the roof, nay, the temple spire, of all evil and madness that is barfing upon humanity. It is the very Portal to an Over world which is inhabited by owlish forces hell-bent on establishing a New World Order.
- According to liberal legend, Bohemian Grove is a place where world leaders gather to hold secret meetings. Dr. Colbert discussed this during a presentation of The Wørd segment on the June 17, 2009 episode of his award-winning news program "The Colbert Report"Episode #573. However, this Bohemian Grove mischief is a bunch of complete hogwash, fabricated by far left wing liberals who missed their hourly dose of Xanax. Try and prove it, if you can't prove it, it's not real. End of story.
- There is a lot of controversy about what really happens in Bohemian Grove. Due to the Bohemian Club being an all male club several theorists believe that it is the site of homosexual orgys. The controversy went on for years with no proof of what was going on until conspiracy theorist Alex Jones snuck in and recorded the Bohemian Club committing a ritual known as the Cremation of Care. To this day there continues to be controversy over the Bohemian Grove and what exactly the Cremation of Care is.
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| abstract
| - According to liberal legend, Bohemian Grove is a place where world leaders gather to hold secret meetings. Dr. Colbert discussed this during a presentation of The Wørd segment on the June 17, 2009 episode of his award-winning news program "The Colbert Report"Episode #573. However, this Bohemian Grove mischief is a bunch of complete hogwash, fabricated by far left wing liberals who missed their hourly dose of Xanax. Contrary to popular belief that select government officials, top media, and other elite individuals meet for a sort of "Satanic" ritual that's shrouded in secrecy, where an effigy of an infant is burned, is complete fiction. Well, everything but burning the baby. Or wait, no, what I meant was if you like theater, what better to do on vacation than have a mock baby-burning every year. Either way, something about anything (is this making any sense?) that might sound satanic about pretending to burn a baby, is pure fiction. Try and prove it, if you can't prove it, it's not real. End of story.
- There is a lot of controversy about what really happens in Bohemian Grove. Due to the Bohemian Club being an all male club several theorists believe that it is the site of homosexual orgys. The controversy went on for years with no proof of what was going on until conspiracy theorist Alex Jones snuck in and recorded the Bohemian Club committing a ritual known as the Cremation of Care. The Cremation of Care is a ritual done in front of a huge stone owl that symbolizes wisdom and knowledge. It is unknown what the Cremation of Care really is, but from Alex Jones's tape it appears that they are burning something. Chris Jones (no relation to Alex Jones) was able to infiltrate the grove during the daytime and recorded the owl. He said he was propositioned for sex many times and Alex Jones also says that the grove is a place of homosexual orgys. To this day there continues to be controversy over the Bohemian Grove and what exactly the Cremation of Care is.
- With secretive members who rank highest in the world's food chain, the Bohemian Grove has become a subject intentionally encouraging numerous speculations and stealth trespassing by the less intelligent commoners of the human race. For extreme reality theorists, especially those who suffer from acute inferiority complexes, such as Alex Jones, the Grove is the roof, nay, the temple spire, of all evil and madness that is barfing upon humanity. It is the very Portal to an Over world which is inhabited by owlish forces hell-bent on establishing a New World Order. Bohemian Grove members only exist to help Moloch control unwanted population growth and establish a fascist autotrophia in which 99% of unlucky mankind (the vast minority) will be financially enslaved by the other 1% of lucky mankind (the tiny majority) through a globalist led “One World Government.” The "Grove" clearly represents the simple fact that 1% of the human race is much smarter than the remaining 99%. In this regard neither Uncyclopedia nor envious reality theorist Alex Jones are trying to insinuate anything, but, heads up! It's coming. Very soon.
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