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| - Dib: Um, ancient traveler? Are you Mortos Der Soulstealer? Mortos: Huh? Yes, I am Mortos Der Soulstealer! Mortos (VO): Every thousand years Taoola aligns with Charcunga, I escape from the place beneath the Overworld to walk among mortals for one day! The planet becomes an ancient symbol. Mortos (VO): Important plot point, this is. Mortos (VO): Men hide behind furniture! Women spit loogies of terror! Animals void their bowels at the sight of Mortos Der Soulstealer! Dib: OKAY, GREAT! Mortos: Hmmm? Dib: I have a job for you! Mortos: Hmm? Dib: Can you steal an alien soul? Mortos: Hmmm? Dib: And I've seen him walking around the city dragging a spooky-looking box! Dib: I just know he's up to something! Something... evil! Mortos (no longer holding the camera): Mortos like evil. Dib: No, no. This is bad evil. Mortos: Oh. Dib leaps off of the grave. Dib: That's where you come in, Mortos. Mortos: I am Mortos! Dib: Uh, yeah, you are. Dib begins walking away. Dib: I've been going at Zim using technology all this time, but that hasn't been working out too well. It's time to use some more supernatural tactics. Mortos? Mortos: Uuuhh! Stone feel goood! Mortos: Look, Mortos been away a thousand years. Don't want to waste time stealing life JUICE of bug man from outer space! Mortos go now. Dib: Hold it! Dib: According to the ancient pamphlet, you must grant at least one mortal a wish before you can return to the spooky realm! Mortos: Pamphlet stupid! Mortos: Guh! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Mortos yells. He gets up. Mortos: Okay. But powers very weak from thousand years in place beneath the Overworld. Dib: Well, how do we fix that? Mortos: Two quarter Porkies with cheese, one McGrease, no cheese, Meaty McMeat Meat Meat, cheese, and Appley Pie with meat. Dib: Mortos, is this really how you recharge your unearthly powers? Mortos: YES! Since before time began! Mortos: Mortos not carry cash. Dib: Oh. Okay. Mortos: Mmm! Mortos' power... returning! Dib: There's Zim! And his box is full of things! Let's go! Mortos! Dib: Mortos! Mortos: Do Mortos' butt look big in these? Dib: Mortos, come on! Mortos: Mortos is trying on RUBBER PANTS! Mortos recharge faster when he look good. When Mortos look good, Mortos feel good. Lors nods. Dib: Mortos! You're not recharged yet? Mortos: Take long time to get back to full! Mortos been away a thousand years. Look, they squeak when I bend knees. Dib: That's a stupid way to recharge. Mortos: You dare insult the pants of Mortos!?! Lors: A rubber jacket would make you feel fabulous! Dib: No! Mortos has work to do. Dib: Mortos? Lors: Uh, the pants aren't free! Dib: Mortos!?! Where are you!?! Mortos!?! Mortos!?! Dib: Zim! Zim (yelling): What? Dib: Zim! Zim (yelling): What? Dib: Zim! Zim (yelling): What? Dib: Zim! Zim (yelling): What? Dib (yelling): You won't get away with it! Zim (yelling): That's very nice of you! Dib (yelling): No! Your plan! I'm going to stop you! I've got a secret weapon! Zim (yelling): Where is it? Dib (yelling): ...Around!... Zim (yelling): Can it protect you from... THIS!?! 'This' is echoed. GIR sheds his doggy suit. GIR: SAMMICH! GIR: I had a sammich in my head. Dib: Laugh now, space monster, but my weapon is so powerful it... it... buys rubber pants. Dib: Mortos? Dib: What is wrong with him? Mortos: I am Mortos! Mortos: Mortos think you pretty. Mortos: Mortos maybe call you sometime? Darlene O' Booboo: Alright! Dib: You ditched me! Mortos: Yes, Mortos ditch you, and Mortos sorry. Mortos: But many years ago, Mortos trust little boy like you. Mortos: Little boy named... Flootchy! Mortos: Who sang songs to Mortos! That little boy break Mortos heart! Mortos: Now, dark energy of Universe Mortos' only friend! Dib: I'm sorry... Mortos: And Darlene here... Darlene O' Booboo: Hiii! Dib: Gah! I can't believe I almost bought that SOB story! Mortos, you're no mighty master of spooky powers, like the pamphlet said! You're just a... a big mooch! Mortos: You call Mortos mooch!?! Dib: Yes, a mooch! Mortos: MOOCH!?! Dib: That's right! Mortos: Mooch mooch mooch mooch mooch mooch!?! Dib walks off. Mortos (echoing): YOU WANT SEE POWER!?! I SHOW YOU POWER! Dib: Wow! Mortos, I believe you now! I always believed you, but you just seemed so... Oh, anyhow, let's go get Zim! Dib runs off, but Mortos stands around looking tired. Mortos: Mortos use up all power with that. Must return to spooky home. Mortos weak. Uuuuhh... Dib: Noo!! Mortos! Don't leave! Mortos: Well... Maybe I stay... if somebody help me recharge some more. Dib: Hey! Mortos: Mmmm! Mortos: Who likes the soulstealer, hoho? Yes you do! Yes you do! Do do! Oh, do do! Doggy do! Maurice the puppy man: Hey! I said no loitering! I've called the police already, you hear me? Dib: Come on, Mortos! Mortos: You scaring puppies! Mortos apologize for mean boy, puppies! Oh yeeeah! Ooooh! GIR: PUPPIES! Zim: No, GIR! You can eat later! Dib: Zim's out there! Mortos, let's go! You don't have much time left! Mortos: Mortos almost recharged! Mortos: Ooh! Soda! Mmm! Dib: Why do they have sodas at a pet store? GIR: You didn't have to yell at me. Zim: Mmm hmm... GIR: I's just... I got rid of my sammich. Zim: Mmm hmm... GIR: I's just thinkin'- Zim: GIR! Another mutant biting thing! GIR: Yes, vermin lord! Zim: Onward to victory! Dib: Zim! I don't know what your plan is, but I'm gonna stop it! Zim: I am infecting this city with genetically enhanced vermin, but you'll never know! Dib: You just told me. Zim: You're lying! Dib: Mortos! Grant my wish now! Steal Zim's life force! Mortos: Still powering up... Mortos: Almost there... Mortos: Eh... Zim: That's your secret weapon? Zim and GIR: Eh. GIR: So, about my sammich... Zim: Mmm hmm... Dib: I'll hold him here while you finish up, Mortos! Zim: Get off of me! You smell like human! Zim: Oh! The vermin! Zim: Eh, eh, eh... Dib: Mortos! Where are you!?! Mortos: Ahhh! Refreshment! Mortos grant wish now! What you want again? Helloooo? DA' CONE: Weee hooo! I wish I had me some ice cream! Mortos: Your wish is granted! DA' CONE: Hey! Whaddya know! DA' CONE: Eeew, raisins! DA' CONE walks off, tossing his ice cream onto the sidewalk. Dib runs up to the ice cream. Dib: Noooo!!! Mortos: Mortos so weak! Must go return now... Dib: Noo!! Mortos, you still owe me! Mortos: Maybe next time, you not be so cheap with Mortos! See you in a thousand years! Dib: Nooooooo!!! Dib: Noooooo!!! Zim: Eh. Eh. Okay. Well, guess I'll get on with my evil scheme then. Come on, GIR. Dib: What... what... what're you... what!?! Dib: What's happening!?!
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