rdfs:comment
| - I'd like to take this page to WP:FAC, and would appreciate any feedback on the article. General comments about the FA criteria criteria are sought, but specific things to be looking at include the flow, prose, and understandability. I bring up a lot of concepts to discuss the influences on him, some of which I understand more than most readers. Thanks, Mark Arsten (talk) 22:03, 1 July 2012 (UTC) Comments – A few nit-picks so far, from reading through about half the article.
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abstract
| - I'd like to take this page to WP:FAC, and would appreciate any feedback on the article. General comments about the FA criteria criteria are sought, but specific things to be looking at include the flow, prose, and understandability. I bring up a lot of concepts to discuss the influences on him, some of which I understand more than most readers. Thanks, Mark Arsten (talk) 22:03, 1 July 2012 (UTC) Comments – A few nit-picks so far, from reading through about half the article.
* Early life and education: Don't think two University of Colorado links are needed here.
* Introduction to Nettles and friends: Can the "Around that time" at the start be made a little more specific? The last date mention is similar to this one, and it's slightly confusing.
* May be helpful to include Raine's first name the first time he is mentioned. This goes for any other authors mentioned too (I notice Lifton is similar).
* Nomadic lifestyle: "seeing it a record of extraterrestrial contact with humanity." Missing "as"?
* Housing and control: Second word of "Mother's day" should be capitalized. Giants2008 (Talk) 01:28, 3 July 2012 (UTC)
* Thanks, good comments. I'm not too sure how to handle the intext attribution to academics, in the past I've done things like "Susan Raine of the University of Alberta states that..." but I've been wondering if that's too wordy. Hmm, will think about it. Mark Arsten (talk) 02:18, 3 July 2012 (UTC)
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