abstract
| - John Stossel is a hip "young" reporter for ABC News Fox Business News with a fashionable and totally hetero moustache. He is the second greatest moustache-bearer in the news, following in the footsteps of the great Geraldo Rivera. Born Juan Stosseltinez in Chicago, Illinois, he changed his name in order to feel "more American". He is a proud libertarian thinker and doesn't believe in global warming. He originally criticized big businesses in his segments, but realized the error of his ways when he found out he was working for one. He now criticizes the government, class action lawyers, and dumbass school administrators. He is constantly asking to be given a break, and seems always frustrated at the stupidity of those who he is asking for a break from. This is probably due to the fact that despite his constant asking, they steadfastly refuse to break him off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar. Stephen Colbert has interviewed him on January 11, 2006 and cited an article he wrote that supported the freedom of incest. So remember kids, when you're at a family reunion and get "that special feeling" towards your cousin, John Stossel says that it's OK. Stossel has effectively validated the feelings that Stephen feels towards Charlene, by saying its none of the government's business. Stossel strongly approves incest. In no way was the article just an extreme example meant to illustrate what the purpose of government should be.
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