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| - Announcer: Hello, everyone! I'm not Jay Leno and I'm your host on everyone's least favorite show... Now let's meet our five contestants! 1st, a burger flipper at McDonalds from Topeka, Kansas! It's Joe Gibbonsman! Joe: Hi, not Jay Leno! It' Great to be here at... Announcer: Our 2nd contestant is an easily distracted 30-year old with a 96 IQ who lives with his mom, please welcome Sam Smith! Sam: Thanks, not Jay Lemon! Announcer: I said I'm not Jay Leno! Sam: I can't believe I actually passed the test and got accepted into the show! Sam: I know! It was really hard! Anyway, It's great to be here at...
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| - Announcer: Hello, everyone! I'm not Jay Leno and I'm your host on everyone's least favorite show... Now let's meet our five contestants! 1st, a burger flipper at McDonalds from Topeka, Kansas! It's Joe Gibbonsman! Joe: Hi, not Jay Leno! It' Great to be here at... Announcer: Our 2nd contestant is an easily distracted 30-year old with a 96 IQ who lives with his mom, please welcome Sam Smith! Sam: Thanks, not Jay Lemon! Announcer: I said I'm not Jay Leno! Sam: I can't believe I actually passed the test and got accepted into the show! Announcer: It was a two-question test, Sam. The first question was your name. Sam: I know! It was really hard! Anyway, It's great to be here at... Ooh. I like the echo! Weeee! Announcer: Ahem. Moving on, our 3rd contestant is the violent assassin who hates game show hosts, people who aren't Jay Leno, and people who introduce him, it's... Violent assassin: Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Shing! Announcer: Oh, that was my good arm! Anyway, please welcome Tim Burns! Tim: GRAAAAAAAAAAH! Announcer: Very good. Anyway, out 4th contestant is a blind woman with a bad temper, it's Tammy Kablammy! Wait. Did I read that right? Tammy: What's wrong with my name?! Is it too rhyming for you?! Come over here so I can sock you! Announcer: No thanks. And I guess that's it! 5th contestant: Wait! I'm still here! I'm the fifth contestant! Announcer: No you're not. You don't exist. 5th contestant: Yes I do! I'm the fifth contestant! Announcer: If you exist, than you would say 5th, not fifth. 5th contestant: But I exist! My name is Bob! Announcer: No you don't. Bob: If I don't exist, than why are you talking to me? Announcer: Because you don't exist. Bob: Ugh. Announcer: Now let's begin... Here are the rules.
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