About: Scottish Institute for Scotland   Sponge Permalink

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The Institute was founded in 1124 by a Franciscan Monk who was known throughout Scotland as Father Mulligatawny on account of his rather disturbing odour. It has been speculated that his true name was Keith McAnusol. Mulligatawny/McAnusol created the Institute on the express orders of King Bridie XXIVth. The King was growing tired of Scotland and as he put it in his Xmas message of 1123: The King wanted to sell the land to the Pope who was looking for a place to dump heretics who believed that small cerise lizards were communicating the true word of God through the medium of mime.

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  • Scottish Institute for Scotland
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  • The Institute was founded in 1124 by a Franciscan Monk who was known throughout Scotland as Father Mulligatawny on account of his rather disturbing odour. It has been speculated that his true name was Keith McAnusol. Mulligatawny/McAnusol created the Institute on the express orders of King Bridie XXIVth. The King was growing tired of Scotland and as he put it in his Xmas message of 1123: The King wanted to sell the land to the Pope who was looking for a place to dump heretics who believed that small cerise lizards were communicating the true word of God through the medium of mime.
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  • The Institute was founded in 1124 by a Franciscan Monk who was known throughout Scotland as Father Mulligatawny on account of his rather disturbing odour. It has been speculated that his true name was Keith McAnusol. Mulligatawny/McAnusol created the Institute on the express orders of King Bridie XXIVth. The King was growing tired of Scotland and as he put it in his Xmas message of 1123: The King wanted to sell the land to the Pope who was looking for a place to dump heretics who believed that small cerise lizards were communicating the true word of God through the medium of mime. The King knew that if the Pope found out what the country was actually like then all he would likely be paid a dozen rosaries, two statues of Saint Diverticulitis of Verona and all the nuns he could eat. He required the Pope to pay larger sum to fund his offline poker addiction. He asked his most trusted bum-wiper, Father Mulligatawny, to create: Bum-wiper was a highly respectable position in the court, just below dog abuser and just above the Queen's own Highland Buggerer. Mulligatawny later told a confidante (Mrs Agnes Spleen) that the idea for the institute came to him in a dream which mostly featured monkeys playing a lute except they didn't know the melody and had to keep asking the goats for help but the goats were from Holland and were angered by the word lute as its meaning in Dutch is 'he who asks his mother to eat custard for breakfast even though his mother has already had cornflakes and is well known throughout the village to have an intolerance of custard which brings her out in a rash of Daily Express headlines'. So the Institute was born with the aim of promoting all that was good about Scotland and fabricating the evidence about everything else.
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