abstract
| - Brambleclaw: My name is Brambleclaw... Tawnypelt: And my name is Tawnypelt, Brambleclaw's sister! TawnyBramble: We're the narrators for this SMOOF! Brambleclaw: Only because Firestar is part of this thingy! Tawnypelt: Okay, so we're here at the DEBATING SMOOF PLACE, of SmoofClan's camp. Cinderpelt (voice off in distance): I'm a med cat! Firestar (voice off in distance): WHO CARES? Cinderpelt (VOID): I'm your medicine cat! Leafpool (VOID): So am I! Jayfeahter (VOID): But I'm the latest med cat! You two are no longer med cats! Brambleclaw: The competition is heating up as we draw nearer! (emerging in DEBATING SMOOF PLACE) Firestar: Thank StarClan! My deputy! Brambleclaw (inching away): No thanks, Firestar, I'm the narrator! Tawnypelt: So am I! Sandstorm: You better back off of my tom, Cinderpelt! Firestar: Aw, come on! I was your mentor! Cinderpelt: Yellowfang was my mentor! Yellowfang: YEAH! Sootfur: I don't even know which side I'm on! Brambleclaw: Thank StarClan! I can leave! Firestar's gonna KISS me! (turning tail and running into the forest) Tawnypelt: *sigh* Well, thanks Sootfur. Sootfur: You're welcome! Spottedleaf: You can't mate with her! Firestar's my boyfriend! Sandstorm: GET OFF OF HIM! (rolling into a fight) Spottedleaf: You can't kill me! I'm dead! Sandstorm: You can't kill me! I'm alive! Cinderpelt (sigh): Yellowfang? Will you get those screeching furballs out of SmoofClan? Yellowfang (sigh): Sure. (walks away) Firestar: But I L-O-V-E you! Cinderpelt: Who cares? Firestar: I DO! Squirrelflight (pops out of nowhere with a giant squirrel): I CARE TOO! Firestar's my daddy! Leafpool: Firestar's my daddy too. Squirrelflight (killing the giant squirrel): But you betrayed all of us, you filthy little meddy cat! Leafpool: Who are you talking filthy? Squirrelflight: YOU! Tawnypelt: Oh, this smoof is getting rough! No roughness in SMOOFCLAN! This smoof is over!
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