rdfs:comment
| - I've listed this article for peer review because I am seeking to make edits in order to prepare this article for good article assessment. A new, or multiple, sets of editor may see edits that are required, including (but not limited to) expansions and contractors of sections of the article, in order to meet the criteria as set forth by GA. Thank you in advance for your efforts, RightCowLeftCoast (talk) 19:12, 25 June 2012 (UTC) The Rambling Man (talk) 18:02, 2 July 2012 (UTC)
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abstract
| - I've listed this article for peer review because I am seeking to make edits in order to prepare this article for good article assessment. A new, or multiple, sets of editor may see edits that are required, including (but not limited to) expansions and contractors of sections of the article, in order to meet the criteria as set forth by GA. Thank you in advance for your efforts, RightCowLeftCoast (talk) 19:12, 25 June 2012 (UTC)
* Would look to expand the lead considerably. It's intended to summarise the whole article, per WP:LEAD.
* No image for the lead?
* Consider paring down the table of contents to just third-level headings.
* Not sure, but do we always capitalise "Century" for century?
* General remark, lots of small paragraphs, reads a bit choppy, may be (may be) okay for GA but seek to improve the flow and general style of the article.
* Havana harbor-> Havana Harbor.
* Montagnard is a dab link.
* U.S.S. -> USS.
* Sergeant Major -> Sergeant major
* "Filipino Cadets being " Cadets->cadets?
* "Japanese Americans" seems that this should be hyphenated or en-dashed.
* "It wouldn't be until" avoid contractions -> "It would not be until..."
* " who was posthumously..." just think you need a link to posthumous here.
* "12[56] to 20 thousand,[57] " so somewhere between 12 people and 20 thousand? Minor rephrase required.
* " the Philippines found itself on the front lines of" doubt it "found itself" there. Be active in tone, not passive. Tell me how it happened.
* "that ended in 1910." 1910 is a bit of an Easter egg link, why not just say what happened and link it?
* "Ahn family portrait." no period required.
* Take a look at WP:DASH, should "Chinese American" be "Chinese-American" or "Chinese–American" or something else?
* Many images left and right, take care not to squash text between them.
* Check image captions, those which aren't complete sentences shouldn't have a period.
* Big see also/previous section of links. Can you be more refined?
* Don't SHOUT in the refs.
* Check for those links tagged as dead.
* The templates usually go below the External links section. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:02, 2 July 2012 (UTC) Response (part 1) I'll see about working on a summarization, but I can use some suggestions. I have not added an image for the lead, as since the Asian American grouping is so diverse, I have not found an image that is as unifying as the one listed for the 21st Century. To use a single image would favor one ethnicity over another, and may give one ethnicity undue preference. Decapitalized century, see here. Capitalized harbor, see here. United States Ship appears to state the proper abbreviation is U.S.S., I have made the change, see here. Sergeant Major is a title and are rightfully capitalized. I have decapitalized cadets, per the manual of style found Army writing standard here, see change here. Japanese and Chinese American are generally not hyphenated in Academic Sources, and thus I have kept with that and not used the hyphen here. This goes back to a renaming attempt/controversy of the Chinese American, Japanese American, and other Asian American articles. Removed contractions, see here. I have reformatted the sentence which I believe is being referred to above; see change here. Please let me know if other sentences need to be reformatted.--RightCowLeftCoast (talk) 23:15, 5 July 2012 (UTC) Response (part 2) Fixed sentence as suggested, see change here. Reformatted sentence, see change here. Reformatted sentence, see change here. Removed period, see change here. Presently the images change from left to right, however that is not necessary. Would other editors suggest that all images be right aligned, or is alternating alignment OK? Removed periods from sentence narration, see change here.--RightCowLeftCoast (talk) 00:09, 6 July 2012 (UTC)
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