Tall and lanky, he is the dim-witted pretty-boy of the group, coasting through life on his good looks. His behavior is very much in line with a stereotypical oversexed lunkhead. Michael has surprised many by scoring higher on a test than some of his other friends, leading some to believe that perhaps Michael is not dumb, but just naive. Michael failed the first grade for his "refusal" to write in cursive and accidental murder of the class bunny. He has been lying about his age ever since. On a trip to potential colleges he claimed that he had been dropped on his head as a child.
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| - Tall and lanky, he is the dim-witted pretty-boy of the group, coasting through life on his good looks. His behavior is very much in line with a stereotypical oversexed lunkhead. Michael has surprised many by scoring higher on a test than some of his other friends, leading some to believe that perhaps Michael is not dumb, but just naive. Michael failed the first grade for his "refusal" to write in cursive and accidental murder of the class bunny. He has been lying about his age ever since. On a trip to potential colleges he claimed that he had been dropped on his head as a child.
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Job
| - Playboy Club in Chicago
- Point Place Police Department
- Price Mart Movie
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| - Kelso,kelslow,kelsmo, Cadet Mike, Michael, Kelschmo, Tater Nuts, Big Chief Brown Bottom, The King, Crap Shoes, Jughead, The Head Dummy, Don Juan El Tardo, Kettle K, Jackie-lover, Denise
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| - Michael Christopher Kelso
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abstract
| - Tall and lanky, he is the dim-witted pretty-boy of the group, coasting through life on his good looks. His behavior is very much in line with a stereotypical oversexed lunkhead. Michael has surprised many by scoring higher on a test than some of his other friends, leading some to believe that perhaps Michael is not dumb, but just naive. Michael failed the first grade for his "refusal" to write in cursive and accidental murder of the class bunny. He has been lying about his age ever since. On a trip to potential colleges he claimed that he had been dropped on his head as a child. Michael is one of 7 siblings, including his older brother, Casey, at least two other brothers and a sister (whom Hyde says is an uggo; a term used by Hyde to describe someone who he does not deem attractive, which is somewhat ironic as Michael is constantly referred to as handsome, along with his brother Casey). Michael's interests mainly include watching cartoons, having sex, smoking marijuana, playing with "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots", toy dinosaurs, dreaming of becoming an astronaut, and incessantly boasting of his God-like complexion.
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