| Contents
| - :Rupert: Hey, everybody, just so you know, I'm straight!
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:1st German Soldier: Heil Hooters!
:Otto: Careful, it might be a "booby-trap".
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:[Observing the Titanic sinking firsthand]
:Chris: This would make a great movie.
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:Stewie: Alright Chris, it's 1798 and we're in the home of Jane Austen.
:Chris: Jane Austen? I don't think she's on my history test Stewie.
:Stewie: Oh, I know. We're just here to release pent up time travel farts.
:Chris: Awesome!
:Brian: Yeah!
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:Stewie: Wait a minute. Pre-Soviet Russia? This wasn't on the manifest.
:Brian: Yeah, this is kind of a personal thing. [approaches Ivan Pavlov] Hey, Pavlov, you dog teasing dick! How's this for positive reinforcement?! [Brian bludgeons Pavlov to death with one of his bells and then spits on his corpse] All right, where to next?
:Chris: I want to kill more scientists!
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:[In a flashback]
:Teacher: Peter Griffin?
:Peter: There.
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:Peter: I'm gonna help you study by nailing your door shut. That way, you'll have no choice but to hit the books. Ah crap, I left my phone in there. Damn it, it's nailed shut.
:Chris: Dad, it looks like some girl sent you a picture of her privates.
:Peter: Ah crap! [Axing down the door] Lois, I don't have the phone! Stop sending pictures!
:Lois: I already sent four more!
:Peter: Chris, put down the phone! Don't look at those!
:Chris: Wait a minute. That's both her hands! Who the hell is taking the pictures?
:Peter: All right, gimme that phone and get back to work, and before you judge your mother, you did most of that damage.
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:Stewie: We'll just tell Chris he's dreaming because I don't want him to know about my time machine.
:Brian: Why not?
:Stewie: It's like having a pickup truck; once people know you got one, there go your weekends.
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:Stewie: The year is 1803.
:Chris: Ah, the future.
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:Tony Sirico: Hey Family Guy, you're lucky I got a manicotti in the oven, or I'd bash your face into a bolognese. That's two kinds of food; that's how angry I am.
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:Tony Sirico: That's two!
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:Brian: Chris, there you are.
:Chris: Well, well, well. If it isn't Booger Breath and the Mushroom Tip.
:Stewie: Which one of us is which?
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:Chris: [As the Titanic begins to flood] This would make a great movie.
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:Brian: Looks like one ship was saved today: a relationship.
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