Huddersfield, England. 42-year-old family man Dave Smith was today recovering in hospital after an incident involving a potato croquette in which he cheated death. As he was about to stick his fork in his evening meal, the croquette began spitting and bubbling before emitting a high pitched wine. A shocked family looked on in horror as the potato mutated into a human-like form right before their eyes. A clearly shocked Smith later said from his hospital bed: "That's the last time I'm getting my food from Tesco."
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