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  • Not Particularly Desperate Housewives/Quotes
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  • :Francine: They're everywhere! They're coming to get me! I wonder where she bought that top? I mean, HEEEELLLP!! ---- :Stan: A shame to waste this. Well, I suppose there's always eBay. Yes, I'll kill the enemies I made on eBay! ---- :Stan: Damn it, Roger, I've told you a million times. No smoking in the house! :Roger: And I told you, it's menthol. So, it's healthier than an apple. ---- :Roger: Don't be starting what you can't finish, bitch. ---- :Klaus: There was a very famous Jewish girl who kept a diary. It ended badly. But enough about Fran Drescher. Ha ha! You thought I was making a Holocaust joke. Shame on you! ---- :Francine: What are you doing here? :Linda: Duh, it's Wednesday, our grocery shopping day. :Francine: Isn't that crazy? I thought my boring routine was killing me, but it ended up saving my life. And that fake lesbian kiss, what a great idea! :Linda: Fake? Oh, yeah... of course. Fake. ---- :Steve : I can't make it on the outside. I'm an institutional man now. ---- :Stan: Francine, why are you dressed so nice? Those chicks from The View aren't going to burst in here and give me a TV makeover, are they? :Francine: I'm going to an art gallery. I'm trying to make a good impression on the Ladybugs. :Stan: So... no makeover? :Francine: If they like me, it's goodbye, boring routine. Hello, exciting charity events, social functions, and book clubs where we just get drunk and complain about our husbands' lack of interest. :Stan: What, now? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Not even a little. ---- :Stan: What the hell is that? :Francine: This is Fussy. His owner was killed, and he needs a home. :Stan: No way, Francine. We're Smiths, and Smiths have manly dogs. This dog couldn't be any more effeminate, even if it had 20 vaginas. And then it would just be a freakish mutant. Or a beautiful symbol of fertility. :Francine: But... :Stan: Forget it, Francine. We already have something girly and annoying in this house. It's called Roger. ----
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  • Not Particularly Desperate Housewives
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