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| - Chuck Norris Joke of the Day "When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken." - We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris. - CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time. - Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef. - If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass. - Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus. - Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time. - President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time. - Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. - Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. - Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. - Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts". - Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. - Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean. - Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile. - Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it. - Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower. - James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. - While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. - Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. - Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography. - To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy. - Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on. - Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. (Just Try it ROFL) - Chuck Norris eats lightning and farts thunder. - Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
- To see the full page on Chuck Norris click there. This page is just for Chuck Norris Jokes edit the topic and post your below: 'Chuck 'Norris once roundhouse kicked a guy, today he is known as the first man to lay foot on the moon. 'The disaster movie '2012' was originally going to be called 'The Day Chuck Norris Got Out The Wrong 'Side Of Bed.
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