abstract
| - Keyes is the second last level in Halo 1. This level is named after the Commander Shepard captain who got raped here. UNSC was greedy when it came to budget and money that time, so they didn't even bother making a wooden board with the captain's name. This level takes place on the AIDS-ridden Covenant ship of Lies and Retardation. As we have seen, cortana failed at trying to teleport the way the lightbulb does, so Master Chief falls through a hole in the ship, dure to the bitch's failure because she's focusing on the chief and raping him so she can feel better. Then, out of some hole in the ceiling behind Master Chief, the AIDS pours in and forces Chief to fall down to pools of "coolants" where in the first one you fall into, she rapes MC like you have never seen. He can't even move. Rumors have it she turned into a life-size form and raped him. Took 3 hours for MC to get out of the first pile of coolant. He fights through the ship against Grunts, Hunters, Elites and the AIDS. Throughout the level, Keyes keeps calling Chief through his iPhone saying that Flood were raping transforming him into a Brain Form. When Master Chief finds Keyes, the Chief punches the silly putty abomination that the Flood turned Keyes into for using up his minutes. Then, the Chief punched through the crap and grabbed Keyes' credit card and neural implants. After that, it's about trying to avoid being spine-raped by the Flood and trying to escape by jumping down onto a banshee and stealing it right in front of an elite. "LIFE'S A BITCH!!!" -Master Chief yelling to the elite as he steals the stuka dive bomber and leaves the zealot to get raped.
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