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An Entity of Type : dbkwik:resource/XR-Rc604VPhXAtADrSiz8A==, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

University College London (UCL) remains the only academic institution to be run by a living specimen of the 70's Porn Moustache. Indeed, we are the world's only institution to be governed by a moustache, although the Grand High Master 'Tache does have several minions to perform the more menial tasks such as interviews with commercial television, spanking of undergrads' bottoms, accountancy graduations, S&M with the Dean of Students, and filing. His preferred body is Professor Malcolm Grant, a Chilean ambassador whom the 'Tache seduced to The Dark Side after attaching himself to his upper lip during the student protests of Ulaanbaataaar '72.

AttributesValues
rdf:type
rdfs:label
  • University College London
rdfs:comment
  • University College London (UCL) remains the only academic institution to be run by a living specimen of the 70's Porn Moustache. Indeed, we are the world's only institution to be governed by a moustache, although the Grand High Master 'Tache does have several minions to perform the more menial tasks such as interviews with commercial television, spanking of undergrads' bottoms, accountancy graduations, S&M with the Dean of Students, and filing. His preferred body is Professor Malcolm Grant, a Chilean ambassador whom the 'Tache seduced to The Dark Side after attaching himself to his upper lip during the student protests of Ulaanbaataaar '72.
Head
  • Grant
dcterms:subject
dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate
campus
  • Urban and super-cool
Country
Name
  • University College London
Type
  • Privatisable
undergrad
  • *n/a
postgrad
  • *n/a
endowment
  • See 'Mascot'
Established
  • 1345(xsd:integer)
postgrad label
  • *n/a
State
City
Motto
  • Ex nullius graduandum
faculty
  • *n/a
Mascot
  • Malcolm Grant's moustache
abstract
  • University College London (UCL) remains the only academic institution to be run by a living specimen of the 70's Porn Moustache. Indeed, we are the world's only institution to be governed by a moustache, although the Grand High Master 'Tache does have several minions to perform the more menial tasks such as interviews with commercial television, spanking of undergrads' bottoms, accountancy graduations, S&M with the Dean of Students, and filing. His preferred body is Professor Malcolm Grant, a Chilean ambassador whom the 'Tache seduced to The Dark Side after attaching himself to his upper lip during the student protests of Ulaanbaataaar '72. Grant was appointed by mistake. UCL's governing council was desperately scrutinising its budget figures, when one of them screamed 'We need a grant!'. Grant was passing the open door, scuttling from the protests to the gents, and popped his head in to say 'Well, I'm a Grant'. The councillors embraced him, his sphincter held firm, and the College has been waiting for its money ever since. A constituent college of the University of London, UCL consistently ranks among the top five university institutions in the UK for having students with the biggest undeserved egos and in the top 25 universities with the most ridiculous institution name. In 2005, UCL was granted the power to award its own degrees, and currently offers its students a choice of degrees from UCL or the University of London. In 2006, a deal was made with McDonald's that allowed anyone who has one of these degrees to skip the interview process entirely and go straight to work behind the tills. Being that all of UCL has the combined intelligence of a tin of baked beans, the deal had to be amended later in the year to allow a period of training for the cut throat world of fast food. Still to this day the majority of students are delighted to have this offer, but there are always a few who don't quite achieve these degrees, and these people can be seen holding signs telling the public where the nearest McDonald's is in aid of there fellow graduates.
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