The College of William & Mary is a small state university located in the tourist trap of Williamsburg, Virginia. Founded in 1693, it is the oldest institution of higher learning in the United States besides Harvard University, and the first to admit students who were not the children of wealthy alumni. William & Mary (use of "and" in place of the ampersand is an honor code violation and grounds for expulsion) has a number of firsts for American universities:
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| - The College of William & Mary is a small state university located in the tourist trap of Williamsburg, Virginia. Founded in 1693, it is the oldest institution of higher learning in the United States besides Harvard University, and the first to admit students who were not the children of wealthy alumni. William & Mary (use of "and" in place of the ampersand is an honor code violation and grounds for expulsion) has a number of firsts for American universities:
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| Head
| - W. Taylor "Bueller? Bueller?" Reveley, XXII
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| campus
| - Lovely colonial and modern architecture, beautiful grassy fields and trails through old growth woods and streams; persistent, mysterious fart smell
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| Name
| - The College of William & Mary in Virginia
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| Type
| - Jesuit - DAMMIT! For the last time, IT'S PUBLIC!!
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| endowment
| - $78.34, but all those unfortunate Virginia BMW owners can save a few hundred a year on car tax and feed their families now.
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| postgrad label
| - including 1,900 who immediately felt better about their undergrad social lives upon arrival
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| Motto
| - Nequeo, mihi studendum est
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| Mascot
| - Exhibitionist eagle thing
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| abstract
| - The College of William & Mary is a small state university located in the tourist trap of Williamsburg, Virginia. Founded in 1693, it is the oldest institution of higher learning in the United States besides Harvard University, and the first to admit students who were not the children of wealthy alumni. William & Mary (use of "and" in place of the ampersand is an honor code violation and grounds for expulsion) has a number of firsts for American universities:
* The first university to brag about an honor code to prospective student tours.
* The first to have an alumnus of a surveyor licensing program elected President.
* The first to have a school for Native Americans and hence the birthplace of the gradual destruction of their culture.
* The first university to form a law school and train lawyers. The administration and Student Assembly have recently issued a joint statement expressing the College's "profound regret for this inhumane act."
* The first Greek-letter fraternity.
* The first administration to punish a fraternity for serving minors.
* The first to lower its central quad into the ground in an effort to hide streakers, and to discourage the unsightly use of wheelchairs. William & Mary is regarded as an academic powerhouse among public universities. It has a first-rate undergraduate program, if the number of self-pitying facebook statuses about studying is any indicator. It also has top-ranked graduate programs in arts and sciences, law, business and education. However, most of the American public is completely unaware of these virtues or even the College's very existence as it is rarely mentioned on ESPN.
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