| abstract
| - autumnbreeze*two everything isn't what it seems things are hidden underneath next time, we should take a look all the the way, beneath ~ "Duskshimmer?" I ask, surprise hitting me like a slap in the face. I should've been more careful. I shouldn't have been so stupid. But here I am, rooted to the spot. What in the name of StarClan am I going to do? "Autumnbreeze." She whispers, staring at me. Her deep brown eyes are wide, and she looks at me majestically, like... well, I don't exactly know. But it feels soothing to me, and every bit of pain and sadness seems to wash away. "What are you doing here?" She asks, flicking her ears. "I, uh... um," I feel the heat rush to my cheeks, and I shrink a bit, scuffling my paw in the forest floor. I never intended Duskshimmer to see me like this. This was supposed to me just me, but, well, things sometimes decide to take an unexpected turn, I guess. "That's alright, Autumnbreeze. Just forget everything." She says, starting to walk away. "I'll leave you to yourself..." She trails off and starts walking away slowly, staring as the leaves crunch under her feet, and I feel some sort of tugging to her. Like I needed her to be my friend, someone I'd like to get to know. "Wait!" I call, skidding to a halt when I reach Duskshimmer, who sits calmly, waiting. "Let's go for a walk, Duskshimmer. To get to know each other... like friends..." I trail off when I see her smile. It's like she's glowing, and happiness just fills wherever she stands. She's always happy, and I'm usually sad... she somehow has that power to make me feel like I don't have a care in the world. It's a wonderful feeling... something that I'm loving, right after about 2 seconds of it. "Autumnbreeze?" Duskshimmer calls. I look to see that she has started walking. And I'm just sitting here, grinning like an idiot. "Sorry, Duskshimmer. Coming." I run after her, and we keep at the same pace - which is seemingly easy for me, because I usually walk really fast. She stares at the ground, and the silence is a bit unnerving for me - someone who is used to being shut out and shushed when trying to speak. This quiet should be comforting - it usually is, but this time... it isn't the same as before. "Duskshimmer... what in the name of StarClan is the point of this?" I ask stupidly. It was the first question on my mind, and as soon as it runs out of my mouth, I regret it. "That's for you to decide. This was your idea, wasn't it?" I'm left stunned. I've never been put into a position like this. Make your own choice... that's honestly never happened. Huh. I look up at the autumn sky, watching as the red, yellow, and orange leaves fall gracefully. "What's your favorite activity, Duskshimmer?" I ask at last. "Hunting." She says, quietly. I'm surprised, and a smile breaks out onto my face. "Really? That's my favorite past time too! Where do you like to hunt?" I ask, giddiness about the fact that a she-cat actually shares my interests taking over me. And just like that, we're friends. I know she can feel it too. It's not something I'm used to. But I love the feeling anyway. "Race you!" I say, after we come to the river. I point with my tail to a fir tree - small compared to the other oaks and maples around them. Duskshimmer smirks and nods. We both start at the same place, and I put in all my focus to the rush of adrenaline that will fill me, and about the small fir tree with the pointy green leaves, about 100 meter away. "Ready, set, go!" Duskshimmer shouts, and I sprint, letting my spirit take over. This was what I was built for. Speed. The wind in my fur. Energy bursts from time to time. Happiness. I wasn't built for loneliness, sadness. I wasn't built for the horrors that friendships can involuntarily create. This is who I truly am. I thought I was winning, until I looked to my right to see Duskshimmer, her blue-gray fur fluffed up. "Thought you would beat me?" She teases, before pulling ahead. I just gape at her in shock before remembering that I'm racing. I wait until I'm at a good mark before sprinting. I sprint like there's a forest fire behind me - which, by the way, isn't fun - and I zip past Duskshimmer with ease. I'm almost there, until some cat decides to jump right in the middle. I end up crashing into the cat, and Duskshimmer gets to the fir tree before I do. "Hey!" I protest, sprawled on the ground. Everything seems to be spinning, and I can see Duskshimmer run towards me and the other cat. The other cat! I turn towards the cat sharply, and I wince as a headache fogs up my brain. It's a she-cat... a she-cat I know. I remember the gray-ish fur, and I suddenly know who the cat is. It's Owlmoon. No cat I've ever seen has a pelt like that. "Owlmoon?" I ask eakly. She isn't moving, and panic rushes through me. "Owlmoon. Owlmoon?" I ask, tickling her with my tail. "Duskshimmer, she isn't moving." I say to the she-cat who stands right next to me, staring at Owlmoon. "Let's go then." We carefully carry her back to camp, and I wonder if Owlmoon will ever be te same again. Like she used to be when Snake and Pipes were around. I want that Owlmoon back... that version of Owlmoon was once my best friend. But now, it's like our friendship has died. The bonds have broken... and now they have withered away. But hopefully, not forever. I need her back. ~ i miss who you used to be a joyous being, full of wonder but now lightning strikes our friendship filling my world with the sound of thunder ~ ~ I'm surrounded by black. Just black. Turning around, I wait until my eyes adjust to the darkness before letting the questions flood me. What happened? Is Owlmoon okay? And, most importantly, Where am I? I turn around faster and faster, trying to make something out of my surroundings. I end up going so fast that I become dizzy. I'm so smart. I end falling over, and closing my eyes. I'm almost about to drift off... I can feel it tugging at me, but something inside of me tells me to keep away. Because if I fall asleep... I have a hunch that I might never wake up. So I just lay there, in the swirling black void, and I feel calm. Calm, and happy. This is the way life should end, right? Right... "Autumnbreeze!" I perk up at once. "Autumnbreeze? Autumnbreeze!" Something starts glowing out of nowhere, and I follow it. Follow the light in the darkness. The happiness in the sadness. And then everything will turn out alright. Soon, the shining, swirling void is right in front of me. I step inside... and wake up. Now my surroundings are too bright. Four cats are standing over me. Skymist, Roseblossom, Swnaheart, and... Duskshimmer? I look to my sides and I see Owlmoon in a nest, fast asleep. "Wha-What happened?" I ask groggily. Everything is spinning now, so I put my head back in the nest. They all stare at me, concern filling their expressions. "You fainted, Autumnbreeze." Duskshimmer says finally. "It might've been the head injuries that, - miraculously - didn't put you in a coma. Or, it could've been that Owlmoon was just too much for you." She shakes her head in a mocking way. "I told you I could help, but nooo, Autumnbreeze has to do it all herself." She sticks her tongue out at me, and I laugh so hard that my teeth start to hurt. "So... what do I do now?" I ask them, still smiling. "Go talk to Autumnbreeze. She said that she wanted to tell you something." Swanheart half-whispered. I stiffen at once, unable to relax myself. The watch me, and an eerie silence fills the air. "Well, we'll leave you to your reunion." Roseblossom says, and the four of them walk out of the den, leaving me there, alone. Sighing, I get out of my nest and walk over to Owlmoon's. "Owlmoon?" My whisper is barely audible. We are the only two cats in the den. It's just me and Autumnbreeze. It's time to settle this, and all that has happened. Owlmoon doesn't open your eyes. "Owlmoon?" I ask again, sighing. This isn't going to work. Owlmoon hates me. What else could it be? "Owlmoon..." I say, almost pleadingly. She finally wakes up, and I find myself staring into the depths of those beautiful hazel eyes. Something - like sorrow - shines in them I don't know what to make of it. I just don't know... "Autumnbreeze." She says, relishing the name. Our friendship has always been easy, and I've always felt content when she was around. Evrything seemed normal once, in it's own way. I was still Autumn. Owlmoon was still Owl. Pipes was there, and Snake hadn't left us. All was well. But that was all a long time ago. "Autumnbreeze, are you okay?" She asks, her voice barely audible. I sit down beside her nest, and she wraps her tail around me. "You've been acting... different." She says, studying me. "How so?" I ask, knowing that she knows the answer. We both do. It's just so obvious in a way. "You've been awfully quiet. I miss when you used to talk." Owlmoon says, hanging her head. I gape at her, happiness starting to wash through me. She cares. Owlmoon actually cares. And somehow, everything seems alright again. "I'm fine, Owlmoon, really..." I say, trailing off, my eyes sparkling. "You sure?" She asks, concern glinting in her expression. "Yes..." I say, warily. "I'm perfectly fine." "Great!" Owlmoon says, smiling. "So, you know what Roseblossom, Sweetfeather, Swanheart and I were doing..." And just like that, everything breaks. Maybe Owlmoon has changed. But all I know, is, everything isn’t the same. I don't think it ever will be. "I, um, have to go now, Owlmoon..." I say after some time. Getting up I'm at the entrance to the den when I look back. Owlmoon's eyes are blazing again; it's like fire has taken over her body. Letting out a little yelp, I run out of the den. ~ i honestly thought you really cared and i was so happy before because it used to be me the one you'd always adore
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