| abstract
| - Cwmbrân was a new town, conceived by the New Towns Act of 1946 in order to house unwanted vermin overspill from Newport, Cardiff and Bristol, a plan which intended to plug areas of void and anti-matter with matter, although time has taught us that Cwmbran doesn't matter at all. Literally translated its name means 'The valley of the gay crow' and it is twinned with the German town of Bruschal. Cwmbrânistanis, as the town's population are called, were sucked into the void that once cut Gwent in two in the same way that a vacuum cleaner sucks, and the process is still evident in the accent, just as white noise is still visible on television screens (particularly between 9:00am and 5.00 pm). Some would argue that Cwmbrân still sucks. The landscape is varied and Cwmbrân offers views of both rubber factories and chemical factories which Cwmbrânistanis see as being the norm. This is due to their inability to escape the town to see other towns, mainly because of the one-way system.
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