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| - Humans most likely developed toast kicking as a way to ward off evil spirits, which would be scared by the crunching of the foot upon the toast. Back then, it was a sacred ritual, with bread toasted by master Breadtoasters and the toast was then consecrated and kicked by the highest shamans. In that time many were afraid of toast kicking, due to it's association with the dark arts and the harsh punishments that befell any commoner who tried to kick the toast. Soon, in what became known as the "Toastal Inquisition", all toast kicking techniques were received with torture and death, causing many to abandon the art and pronounce it as witchcraft. Toast kicking was almost lost to history in what would be known as "The greatest tragedy to ever befall the earth". Then, centuries later, the great
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| abstract
| - Humans most likely developed toast kicking as a way to ward off evil spirits, which would be scared by the crunching of the foot upon the toast. Back then, it was a sacred ritual, with bread toasted by master Breadtoasters and the toast was then consecrated and kicked by the highest shamans. In that time many were afraid of toast kicking, due to it's association with the dark arts and the harsh punishments that befell any commoner who tried to kick the toast. Soon, in what became known as the "Toastal Inquisition", all toast kicking techniques were received with torture and death, causing many to abandon the art and pronounce it as witchcraft. Toast kicking was almost lost to history in what would be known as "The greatest tragedy to ever befall the earth". Then, centuries later, the great Toast-kicker Alpha and brought the great art of toast kicking back from near extinction. His methods were perfect, the trajectory was accurate, and his foot velocity was terminal. This prophet of toast kicking recorded his formula in a sacred scroll that has been lost to history for thousands of years. Nowadays, toast kicking is a dying art, due to overcommercialization and lack of knowledge on proper toast kicking technique. Others hypothesize that our earth is one giant piece of toast, and that one day the apocalypse will fall when "The Great Foot Of God" will come down for one final toast kick. These people should be considered extremists and should not be believed until you see a giant foot sailing through space, and even then it may be disregarded.
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