this was my first article, so i figured i'd dust it off and clean it up and take all the stupid out of it. as always, free prize for review! -- 12:40, 21 August 2007 (UTC) Edit: i have another article i'd rather have reviewed, so this one's going on the back burner so as not to blatantly abuse Pee Review. -- 16:33, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
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| rdfs:label
| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Tremors
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| rdfs:comment
| - this was my first article, so i figured i'd dust it off and clean it up and take all the stupid out of it. as always, free prize for review! -- 12:40, 21 August 2007 (UTC) Edit: i have another article i'd rather have reviewed, so this one's going on the back burner so as not to blatantly abuse Pee Review. -- 16:33, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
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| dcterms:subject
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| Mcomment
| - I would like to see a better ending on this one. A great ending can make an article, whereas a lowsy one can leave you with an empty feeling inside. For an example of a great ending, read Fire hydrant all the way through. My favorite ending that I wrote is this one. Also, points for linking to Independence Day, a rewrite I did, as well as for being a Bruins fan. ;)
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| Pcomment
| - Good prose and formatting, no major issues.
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| Icomment
| - The two you had were very funny. Regular images, but made humorous via the captions. Very good. However, I think one or two more images would be good, and you should enlarge the two you have. Not so big that it looks like you're "compensating for something", but make em a bit bigger.
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| Ccomment
| - I'll admit it, I haven't seen the movie, but the article does stand on its own, so good job.
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| Mscore
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| Hcomment
| - Surprisingly funny, despite the random humor. I take it you've read our Holy Book? Remember, close to the truth tends to be funnier than outright nonsense, and if you're going to be nonsensical, it helps to have a straight man in the room. The nonsense you have is good, but try to stay away from pure nonsense, it's the pitfall of newer uncyclopedians. Also, try to avoid name-dropping, as it makes you sound like you are relying on old jokes.
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| Iscore
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| Fcomment
| - The page has good prose, a decent concept, and was marginally funny. I'd recommend reading HTBFANJS, then reading your article. It's what I try to do with every page I write, and you'd be surprised how much it helps. Also: A brilliant first effort! Certainly better than my first.
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| Signature
| - TheLedBalloon/sig (16:46, Aug 21, 2007)
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| abstract
| - this was my first article, so i figured i'd dust it off and clean it up and take all the stupid out of it. as always, free prize for review! -- 12:40, 21 August 2007 (UTC) Edit: i have another article i'd rather have reviewed, so this one's going on the back burner so as not to blatantly abuse Pee Review. -- 16:33, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
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