| abstract
| - I crept down the stairs. The footsteps seemed heavier than usual despite my attempts to sneak quietly by. It had been an hour since I was left to my own devices. An hour since Akane had left for a crisis. The thought of which had been chiseling away. The sheer terror that appeared on her face, and the loud crashes and bangs, and the screams and shouts that were equally deafening. Sleep was the last thing I could do with that memory haunting my dreams. But, I was scared. . . . Devils, Fallen Angels. I was only human at the end of the day. I could die. I didn't want to die. I was barely an adult, and I still had 'X'-amount of years left. I still shivered at the thought of that attack. The one that knocked me. The serpent that could have killed me. I survived, but the image of that attack and the brief moment of cold icy fear sweeping under my skin. It only happened today, this morning in fact. I could have died, and then . . . what? I've been complaining a lot about how the new experience of the supernatural world, but I never asked to join. I was dragged in, and I am ashamed in hindsight that I didn't act, kicking and screaming. . . . But . . . I am apart of it. I know if its existence now. I know about the Angels, Fallen and Devils. I am apart of the supernatural now. . . . And, . . . I can't sit back. But I'm still scared. . . . With both thoughts causing me great ache. I cannot do nothing, but . . . just but what? I don't know what 'what' is meant to imply. I had but one option now, and I was going to regret it in some form or another. I was going to talk about it . . . with my mum. . . . What? I did already mention to you that I was very reluctant to talk to my mum about this . . . subject. I opened the door to the living room, where she was reading on one of the chairs, her chair. We both had a seat that we systematically assigned ourselves to sit in. Despite the TV being on also, the light that stood next to her chair was on to illuminate the pages she held in her hand. If you took off her reading glasses, you would see that she looks very similar to me, or vice versa mostly. Both of us had the same amber eyes, but her hair was black compared to the more brown hue that I had. She was neither young or old, but I would definitely not say she had reached middle-age yet. Sitting there so reclined, I felt nervous coming towards her. As my shadow started walking into the room before me, as I slyly stepped into the room without making a sound. I closed the door behind me, reminding myself to not run away from this. It looks like bravery, but my life was not on the line at anytime so there is no act of courage being displayed here. Besides, its just my mum. There nothing sca-, there's nothing too scary about her, except for her quick responses and interrogation styled questions that make me nervous whenever I open up to her about . . . stuff. Working up the courage, I opened my mouth and spoke at a moderately leveled voice. "Hey, Mum. Can I talk with you?" "What's her name." "Ghh!" Just like that, she caught me right off my guard. I barely had little guard to begin with, so now I was bare to her counter-remarks. I really should have predicted that she would somehow manage to catch on so quickly. I had already predicted this earlier if you remember. The reason why I never mentioned it was because I would have been assaulted with twenty questions and that was just embarrassment that hindered me to keep this whole ordeal a secret from her. I wonder if perhaps she happened to hear what was going on. . . upstairs earlier. *gulp*, part of me wishes she didn't. I can't spend my time mentally desensitizing myself for that kind of I was silent for too long. I left her hanging to the point that she was actually turning her head up towards me to see if I was still there or as still as a statue. I took a short breath and replied to her question with hesitation openly to be cut off momentarily. "How di-" "So I was right then." My eyes widened. Her eyes grew also, but not from shock, but curiosity. "You were guessing?" "Call it 'a mother's intuition'." A sweat drop fell across my face mentally. ". . . How?" "You never answered my first question." She was good. But then again, she was my mum. I never mentioned this, but I only had my mum; her parents died at an early stage in my life through natural causes. She had no siblings or any one of any close relations, so we were the only family either of us had. Dad? I never met him, or truly knew him in a wider sense. I have seen pictures of him, and with me at the age of two the latest, but then one day he just vanished. Not walked up and left us vanished. He was just gone one day. Traces of his belongings were found one evening, but he was not with them. Blood stains, ripped fabric, no body. He was announced missing, and presumed dead following a two month scour that came up cleaner than a sterilized needle. Sad, but off track. Let's just move on from here; I realized that I was not going to win this discussion against her, so I should as well play her game until I can have the opportunity to switch it around so I can solve my problems. ". . . A-Akane." "A Japanese name. Well, I wasn't expecting that. I expected her to be foreign by the way you've been keeping it a secret." Crap. How did she know. Does she really have a mother's intuition. I gave her a name only and suddenly she became Sherlock Holmes on me. . . . *sigh* No point, let's just bare with this a try to carry on. "Well, shes definitely not Japanese, but I'm not quite sure where her homeland is." Truthful without revealing too much. Maybe she won't press any further, if I'm at all lucky to catch a break. She closed her book. I almost shriveled at the thought. She was putting more attention onto my problem now. Was she seriously going to dig deeper? "Well, that's a mater for another time. So, what is it about this girl that you wanted to talk about?" Whew. Never mind. Looking at me with her full attention, now I was under the spotlight. Wait, what was I going to say? Oh crap! Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit! . . . *uhmmm* . . . *uhmmmmm!* . . . *uhhhmmmmm!!!* . . . ". . . Well, I was just talking to her, and I barely knew her, she invited me out on a date and we had a good time, but . . . um well, she has familial problems- but not in the family, more like people are targeting her, her family and her friends for personal reasons that I barely know of. She was with me and she got a call from her friends that they were in trouble and now she's caught up in some mess that I don't know if I can even do anything about. And I don't know what to do. *gasp*" "Do you love her? ". . . Huh?" "Do you really want me to repeat that?" "L-L-love?" "A girl you've barely known existed for a few days is in trouble and you are showing so much concern that you need to ask your mother what you should do. I think that qualifies for more than just liking someone." "Uhhh? Um, uh . . ." She made a very difficult argument to counter. She was staring intently at me and I had no way to responding. Had she really cornered me so easily? She fully swiveled around, I mean literally, she moved the entire chair around just so she was sitting comfortably facing towards me without crooking her neck for so long. She reached and took hold of my right hand with both of hers. I could feel her grip and she clung on as she was asking me to hang on and take what she was about to say to heart. "I don't think that this is something you really need to be worrying over. The big questions you need to ask yourself is: Do you care about what happens to her? Will you do anything about it? And, what do you see yourself doing when this is over?" Her warm smile was a soothing pain killer that I needed right around now. The kind that I needed to think clearly; Do I care? Will I do anything? What do I see afterwards? The piece of paper felt heavy in my back pocket. I could sense something hot emitting from the circle stamped across it, burning into my skin and transferring the signal through out my core. All a metaphor and literal, but it was something I was in need to pay close attention to. Do I care? I think I have care. I do care! The guilt of not doing anything about this despite my cowardice to the situation and new world I was introduced to was evidence of that. Which in a way was also an answer to my second question also. I care. I do care! What am I doing here then? Why was I questioning this when it was clearly obvious of that fact. I slipped my hand out of my mum's hold and made my way back upstairs with a new sense of determination. I took to my room and pulled on a jumper, and slipped on my trainers. I was still wearing my bear minimum as expected of clothing with my t-shirt and casual trousers. I also grabbed my keys and my phone as well before taking off down the stairs. I reached out towards the door, unlocking and opening it. The cold night air was starting to creep in after a long summer, but the cold was not just a changing of the seasons. There was a definite chill that was roaming the evening. "I've got to go." "Where?" my mum called back from the living room. I shut my eyes to think for a moment, before answering back to her. "I don't know where, but she needs my help, so I'll do what I can." I smiled. Looking at me at that moment and I would have called myself an idiot also, but not how I was feeling right now. I had a new sense of determination and I was burning through it at an alarming rate. I needed to leave before I ran out. A last breath of the warmth of my home, and I shut the door behind me. The cold was around me now. I started running . . . for the center of town.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)