1.1 Sand, sand, sand. There is so much and and not a lot else. Why did I come here? What the hell made me agree to this mallarky? I should be back in Cairo shooting up opium with a young man named "Bottom". Unfortunately I'm here surrounded by sand. Sand, sand, sand - God I'm bored of sand. Or should I say Allah? Yeah, I'll say Allah as it'll make me seem a tad romantic and a tad mysterious to all the birds back home. And I'll change my name by deedpole - no longer will I be T.E. Lawrence - I will be Lawrence of Arabia! conversation went like this: 'Where you from then?' 'Berkshire'
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| - UnBooks:The Seven Pillars of Wisdom
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| - 1.1 Sand, sand, sand. There is so much and and not a lot else. Why did I come here? What the hell made me agree to this mallarky? I should be back in Cairo shooting up opium with a young man named "Bottom". Unfortunately I'm here surrounded by sand. Sand, sand, sand - God I'm bored of sand. Or should I say Allah? Yeah, I'll say Allah as it'll make me seem a tad romantic and a tad mysterious to all the birds back home. And I'll change my name by deedpole - no longer will I be T.E. Lawrence - I will be Lawrence of Arabia! conversation went like this: 'Where you from then?' 'Berkshire'
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| - 1.1 Sand, sand, sand. There is so much and and not a lot else. Why did I come here? What the hell made me agree to this mallarky? I should be back in Cairo shooting up opium with a young man named "Bottom". Unfortunately I'm here surrounded by sand. Sand, sand, sand - God I'm bored of sand. Or should I say Allah? Yeah, I'll say Allah as it'll make me seem a tad romantic and a tad mysterious to all the birds back home. And I'll change my name by deedpole - no longer will I be T.E. Lawrence - I will be Lawrence of Arabia! 1.2 There are not many trees out here. Or flowers. Or geraniums. And another thing you notice is the absolute lack of pubs. Not a single Red Lion for thousands of miles. Neither is Oxford University here, or Mrs. Ransom's knickers. They are on a washing line as I write - fluttering in the wind with all their seductive wafting... I think I'm off for a lye down. 1.3 Met a chap named Mohammed. Quite a common name rounds these parts of the desert. Told him my name was Lawrence of Arabia. He asked me where I was from - I said Berkshire. He told me that I wasn't from Arabia. In actuality the conversation went like this: 'Whats your name, Guv'nor?' questioned Mohammed in his lilting sand like language. 'Lawrence of Arabia' I replied with all the humility and respect that I had for these towelheads. 'Where you from then?' 'Berkshire' 'So your not from round these parts then?' He said in awe. I offered to show him a picture of a tree, but he assumed I was being dirty. 1.4 Mohammed explained to me that his people were a tribe called "Cock-er-knees." Their religion is one of respect and peace. All other tribes in the area were wiped out by the "Cock-er-knees" sometime ago - in their "peace war". I am in awe of their religion. I think I shall convert. It is hard to be a practising Anglican when there is no tea around.
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