—The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs) 10:05, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
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| - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Uncyclopedia Cures Cancer (Rewrite)
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| - —The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs) 10:05, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
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| - Three words: formating, formating, formating. While the "rules" for formating here are quite lax, try to be consistent. Either quoted speech is italic, or it isn't. Mixing the two gets confusing. Maintaining consistency is like good oatmeal; few lumps. The "Some of the illnesses..." bit adds a list in a list format to a format that doesn't generally include lists listed like that. Try "Some of the illnesses that can be cured with this technique include being a cripple, being stupid, or being Jimbo Wales."
- Three words: grammar, grammar, grammar. "Although members of the general public has rejoiced at the news cancer has now been renderred completely harmless..." contains two mistakes . Try "Although members of the general public have rejoiced at the news that' cancer has now been renderred completely harmless..." .
- Three words: punctuation, punctuation, punctuation. As examples, "...some balding fat overpaid doctor talked on about the genetics of cancer from his high school text book." needs commas, and "...one of the loser admins asked the question "What if we like totally turn all the genes off, wouldn't it be like turning a light off"?." has too much punctuation, and in the wrong place . I don't know how much this will help you, but I find that it helps to read it out loud. Wherever you pause , add a comma.
- Three words: spelling, spelling, spelling. Decicrated isn't a word. Desecrated is. "The resulting affects of..." should be "The resulting effects of...". Affect is close. Effect is best. Shoot for the stars with a lemonade raygun.
- Three words: rhythm, rhythm, rhythm. This, believe it or not, is the toughest one. Try to find the order of words that best aids their "flow". "Although members of the general public has rejoiced at the news cancer has now been renderred completely harmless, like a crocodile with an elastic band around its mouth." is okay, while "Although members of the general public have rejoiced at the news cancer has, like a crocodile with an elastic band around its mouth, been rendered completely harmless." flows better. The more that you write, the more that you'll find that special rhythm of a page.
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| Icomment
| - The two are just okay. The first, a 'chop, has a big patch that just filled with the same colour as the sheet, and the addition image doesn't match the "style" of the main one . In any event, display them bigger . When in doubt, go absurd. For instance, plush or cartoon cells are naturally funny .
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| - Injokes are hard to pull off. That's why there are a lot of them, but so few shine with the sheen of shining shininess.
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| - A competent, if inconsistent start. The "chav" bit at the end doesn't fit the theme of the page, IMO.
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| - I hope this Pee Review doesn't come off as too harsh. If it helps, remember that I'm an insufferable old coot.
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| - —The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs) 10:05, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
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