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| - Voice-over: Hello and welcome to BIG BROTHER: THUNDERCLAN: SEASON THREE! Please welcome your BRAND NEW host... FERNCLOUD! (Ferncloud walks on to stage) Ferncloud: Hello, every cat, and welcome to a brand new season of Big Brother: ThunderClan! Cat in Crowd: What happened to Daisy? Ferncloud: She quit to become a contestant. Cat in Crowd: So, who decided you'd be host? Ferncloud: The producer asked me, and he'd already asked 10 different cats, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say no. Oh, and that reminds me, who referred to me as "brand new"? I'm not a supermarket item! D: Producer: That was my fault. Sorry. Ferncloud: That's okay, Mikey. Producer: D:::::: YOU REVEALED MY NAME! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!!!! Ferncloud: (bursts in to tears) I'M SORRY! D: Producer: Ferncloud! You need to introduce the first housemate! Ferncloud: Sorry. Okay, since you already know who she is, please welcome the FIRST housemate for Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 3, DAISY! (Daisy walks on to stage) Daisy: Hello! Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Crowd: TRAITOR! YOU BETRAYED US! HOW DARE YOU BECOME A CONTESTANT? Daisy: B-but I have the right to be one! Crowd: YOU SUCK! Cat in Crowd: (throws tennis ball at Daisy) Daisy: AAAAAAAAH! (hides behind random pole) Ferncloud: THAT'S ENOUGH! Stop trying to hurt Daisy! Whoever threw that, say sorry! (no one says anything) Ferncloud: Say sorry, or else I won't introduce any more housemates! Cat in Crowd: Sorry. Ferncloud: (purrs) Good. Now, Daisy, enter the house before something else gets thrown at you! Daisy: Gladly! (runs in to house) (in the house) Daisy: Wow, I've never been on this side before! Cool! OMSC, THERE'S A POOL! AWESOME! Big Brother: Daisy, welcome to the Big Brother house! Daisy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Crap, you scared me Big Brother! Big Brother: Daisy, it's nice to see you on this side of the house for a change. Daisy: I know! I've hosted for two seasons, and now I'm competing! Yay! Big Brother: Feel free to explore! Daisy: (runs to bedroom) OMSC, TWOLEG BEDS! EEEEEEEEEE! (jumps on bed) I CALL THIS ONE! OMSC, THIS HOUSE IS AWESOME! I'm so glad I quit that stupid hosting job! I'm gonna win this show and never go back to the hosting job again! Big Brother: That's nice. (on stage) Ferncloud: Daisy seems to be having fun! I've never seen her be so stupid! So, what do you think? Should we bring in another one to keep her company? Crowd: YES! Ferncloud: Yes, what? Crowd: YES PLEASE! Ferncloud: Okay, please welcome housemate number 2, RAVENPAW! (Ravenpaw walks on to stage) Ravenpaw: Wooo! I'm on BBTC! Ferncloud: Hi, Ravenpaw! Welcome to the show! Ravenpaw: (gasp) FERNCLOUD! I haven't seen you in ages! (hugs) Ferncloud: Ravenpaw, as some cats know, you left ThunderClan a long time ago. Do you think that will be a disadvantage? Ravenpaw: I hope not. Ferncloud: Well, Ravenpaw, there's already one housemate waiting for you. Please enter the house! (Ravenpaw enters) (in the house) Daisy: (is still bouncing on the bed) WEEEEEEEEEEE! Big Brother: Daisy, get off the bed. There's another housemate waiting for you. Daisy: (goes outside) (Ravenpaw enters the house) Ravenpaw: Daisy! Hi! Daisy: AAAAAAAAAAH! CREEPY STALKER CAT WHO KNOWS MY NAME! (runs and hides) Ravenpaw: (tackles) Calm down! I'm Ravenpaw. I left ThunderClan long ago. Daisy: Then why are you here? Ravenpaw: Because I'm part of ThundnerClan. Daisy: But that's not fair to the others. Ravenpaw: I don't care! Daisy: Well, you should! Ravenpaw: Well, you're not even Clan-born! Daisy: OMSC, how dare you go there! Ravenpaw: Well- :O RANDOM JELLY ON THE GROUND! Daisy: :OOOOOOOO AWESOME! Ravenpaw: FOOD FIGHT! (throws jelly at Daisy) Daisy: NUUUUUUUUU! (picks up random box of shapes and throws it at Ravenpaw) Ravenpaw: GAME ON! Ferncloud; Oh, I love food fights! But they're a waste of food, though. Crowd: NEXT HOUSEMATE! NEXT HOUSEMATE! Ferncloud: Okay! Please welcome housemate number three, MOUSEFUR! (Mousefur walks on to stage) Ferncloud: Hi, Mousefur! Mousefur: Grumpeh le grumpity le grumpus! Ferncloud: SPEAK ENGLISH! Mousefur: Killjoy. Ferncloud: So, Mousefur, any strategy for winning? Mousefur: Be exactly like Jayfeather! Ferncloud: Why? Mousefur: Because he won obviously! Ferncloud: Oh. Anyway, please enter the Big Brother house! Mousefur: Okay! (Mousefur enters) (in the house) Daisy: YAAAAAAAA! Prepare to die, Ravenpaw! (throws a smartie at him) Ravenpaw: NUUUUUU! (throws a peanut butter sandwich at Daisy) Daisy: (gasp) HOW DARE YOU!? (Mousefur enters the house) Mousefur: HELLO, INFERIOR- Ravenpaw: (throws a jar of jalepenoes at Mousefur) Mousefur: (is knocked out) Daisy: MOUSEFUR! NUUUUUUUUU! (runs over to her) CAN YOU BREATHE!? ARE YOU ALIVE!? Ravenpaw: (sneaks up on Daisy with a bowl of guacamole) Shhhh! Daisy: Mousefur! MOUSEFUR! MOUSEFUR, WAKE THE (bleep) UP! Ravenpaw: (dumps the bowl of guacamole on Daisy's head) Daisy: WTF? NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I HATE MEXICAN FOOD! (punches Ravenpaw) Big Brother: STOP IT! NO MORE FIGHTING! Daisy: Sorry, Big Brother! Ravenpaw: Yeah, sorry. (Mousefur wakes up) Mousefur: What happened? Daisy: MOUSEFUR! YAY! Ravenpaw: MOUSEFUR! HELP ME GET RID OF THIS LOONY! Big Brother: Mousefur, glad to see you're awake! Mousefur: Grumpeteh le grump- Big Brother: Please don't. Mousefur: Grumpeteh le grumpus grumpeh grump! Big Brother: Mousefur, if you speak another word of grump, you'll be evicted. Got it? Mousefur: Got it. Big Brother: Good. Ravenpaw: Why on earth did I come back to ThunderClan? (on stage) Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate number four, REDTAIL! (Redtail walks on to stage) Redtail: Hello, Ferncloud! Ferncloud: Hello, first cat to die in Warriors! Redtail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! THE ERINS HATE ME! D: Ferncloud: Sorry, I had to say it. Now, Redtail, I have one question to ask you before you enter the house. Redtail: Yes? Ferncloud: It's common knowledge that you're related to Willowpelt, are you crazy like her? Redtail: No! I'm not- BAHAHAHAHAHAHA RED-TAILED SQUIRRELS!- I'm not crazy! Ferncloud: What did you say? Redtail: I said I wasn't crazy. Ferncloud: Really? I thought you said... never mind. Enter the house! Redtail: YAAAAY! (in the house) Big Brother: I hope you three are cleaning that up! Mousefur: But I didn't do anything! D: (Redtail enters) Ravenpaw: (gasp) REDTAIL! Redtail: RAVENPAW! Ya- Holy crap, it looks like a bomb went off in here. What happened? Daisy: We had an epic food fight! Mousefur: Yeah! Redtail: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! I MISSED IT! D: Mousefur: Yeah! Daisy: And now we have to clean it up! Mousefur: Yeah! Ravenpaw: For StarClan's sake, stop saying "yeah!" Mousefur: Yeah! Daisy: STOP IT! Mousefur: Yeah! Redtail: STOP IT! Mousefur: Yeah! Big Brother: Stop it or you'll be evicted. Mousefur: Okay. Big Brother: Now, clean that up. Mousefur: Yeah! Everyone: SHUT UP, MOUSEFUR!!!! Ferncloud: Poor Mousefur! D: Okay, it's time to introduce the next housemate! Please welcome housemate number five, ROSEPETAL! (Rosepetal walks on to stage) Rosepetal: Hi, Ferncloud. Ferncloud: Hi, Rosepetal! Looking forward to going in to the house? Rosepetal: Yeah, I guess. Ferncloud: Wow, I forgot how boring you are. Rosepetal: (does angry face like Kristen Stewart) Ferncloud (starts laughing) YOU DO THAT PERFECTLY!!!!!!! Rosepetal: That's my real angry face. o.O Ferncloud: It is? But it looks like an emotionless face. Rosepetal: Shut up. Ferncloud: Okay. Enter the house, Kristen Stewart Jr. Rosepetal: Don't call me that or I'll maul you with a screwdriver. (enters the house) Ferncloud: She'd make the perfect Kristen Stewart stunt double! xD (Rosepetal enters the house) Rosepetal: Hello, world, it is me, Rosepetal. Daisy: ROSEPETAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! EEEEEEEEEE! (tacklehugs) Rosepetal: Hi, mum. Ravenpaw: HI, RANDOM CAT! Rosepetal: Hello. Wow, this house is weird. (walks around) Ravenpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T BE BORING! BE FUN! D: Rosepetal: But this is my fun face. Redtail: HI, KRISTEN STEWART!!!! Rosepetal: I'm not Kristen Stewart. If anyone calls me that again. I'm going to kill them. Mousefur: Rosepetal! Hi! Rosepetal: Hi, Mousefur. Mousefur: Woah. When did Kristen Stewart posses you? Daisy: STOP CALLING MY DAUGHTER KRISTEN STEWART! Her name is Rosepetal! Rosepetal: Oh My StarClan, stop calling me Kristen Stewart. Seriously, I'm not Kristen Stewart. The next cat to call me that will be mauled. Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KRISTEN STEWART! Rosepetal: Redtail, how could you say that. OMSC, I hate you. (mauls) Redtail: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! Rosepetal: Stop calling me Kirsten Stewart. Ravenpaw: Wow, it's going to be a boring season with her! Mousefur: Agreed. (on stage) Ferncloud: (is asleep) No, Dustpelt, don't use the microwave, use the oven! Producer: FERNCLOUD! WAKE UP! Ferncloud: (wakes up) Wha'? Oh, she was so boring, I fell asleep listening to her! Anyway, hopefully this next housemate isn't boring! Here he is, housemate number six, GRAYSTRIPE! (Graystripe walks on to stage) Graystripe: (is munching on Doritos) Hi, Ferncloud! Ferncloud: Graystripe, didn't you read the sign? NO OUTSIDE FOOD! Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T TOUCH MY DORITOS! Ferncloud: SECURITY! (nothing happens) Ferncloud: Producer! What happened to security? Producer: Gave them the day off. Ferncloud: But, Graystripe won't hand his Doritos over, and there's no outside food! Producer: Graystripe, hand 'em over. Graystripe: NO! MINE! (snarls) Producer: Oh. Well, in that case. (gets out rifle) Graystripe: (falls to the floor in shock) NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T KILL ME! D: Ferncloud: Producer, put the gun down, that's creeping me out! (hides behind random pole) Producer: (shoots Doritos) (the packet explodes) Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! NOW I NEED SOMETHING ELSE TO EAT! Ferncloud: Don't look at me. I'm not giving you food. Graystripe: Say, Ferncloud, that's a delicious looking head you have there. May I eat it? Ferncloud; NUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T EAT MY HEAD! D: (protects head) Graystripe: But I'm hungry! D: Ferncloud: There's food in the house! Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOD! (Graystripe enters the house) (in the house) (Graystripe enters) Graystripe: Where's the food? Mousefur: I love how that's the first thing he says. Graystripe! Hi! Graystripe: Hi! Ravenpaw: GRAAAAAAAAAAY- (trips and falls in to the pool) Everyone but Rosepetal: (laughs) Rosepeteal: Oh My StarClan. That was so funny. Graystripe: Hi, Rosepetal! WHERE'S THE FOOD? Rosepetal: Yay, Graystripe's here. I'm so excited. Woo. Graystripe: When did Kristen Stewart enter? Rosepetal: I'm not Kristen Stewart. Why is everyone saying that. Redtail: Because you're boring. Graystripe: REDTAIL! OMSC, YOU'RE FAMOUS! Redtail: AND YOU LIKE FANTASTIC UNICORN MUNCHIES, YOU MUNCHIE MUNCHER! Graystripe: Uh... what? Redtail: I'm sorry... I have no idea what came over me! Graystripe: Anyway, now that introductions are out of the way, FOOOOOOOOOOOD! (runs to kitchen) Mousefur: (shrugs) Typical Graystripe. What else did you expect? Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate number seven, SPOTTEDLEAF! (Spottedleaf runs on to stage) Spottedleaf: Let me in, quick! Before Sandstorm comes! (Sandstorm walks on to stage) Sandstorm: Cuddly toy, get off there! That's for housemates! Spottedleaf: But I am a housemate! Sandstorm: You lie, cuddly toy! Cuddly toys can't be housemates! Ferncloud: (shows Sandstorm the housemate list) Actually, she is. Sandsstorm: B-b-b-but, who will be my cuddly toy now? (bottom lip quivers) Ferncloud: Spottedleaf, enter the house please. Spottedleaf: Gladly! Sandstorm: NUUUUU! Cuddly toy, come back! (Spottedleaf enters the house) Sandstorm: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME, CUDDLY TOY!? (in the house) (Spottedleaf enters) (Spottedleaf trips over) Spottedleaf: UGH! THE ERINS HATE ME! D: Redtail: They hate me more! Spottedleaf: OMSC, REDTAIL! (tacklehugs) Rosepetal: Wow. Strange cat that I don't know. Who is this cat. Mousefur: Shut up, Kristen Stewart! Rosepetal: I'm not Kristen Stewart. Mousefur: Yes you are! Ravenpaw: (gasp) Could it be? Redtail: Could what be? Ravenpaw: Could it be Spottedleaf? Spottedleaf: It could and it is! Hello, cat who ditched everyone and went to live on the farm! Just kidding, Ravenpaw, I love you. Ravenpaw: I thought you loved Fireheart? Spottedleaf: I love everything! (hugs grass) I love you, grass! (hugs Rosepetal) I love you, Kristen Stewart! Rosepetal: Why does everyone keep calling me that. I swear, if one more cat calls me Kristen Stewart, I'm going to explode. Spottedleaf: Where's the other housemate? Surely there are six. Ravenpaw: GRAYSTRIPE! NEW HOUSEMATE! Graystripe: (from the kitchen) FOOOOOOOOOOOD! OMNOMNOM! Spottedleaf: Graystripe, honey, bring your food in a takeaway bag. (throws takeaway bag in the kitchen) Graystripe: (from the kitchen) NUUUUUUUUUUU! RANDOM FLYING BAG! D: Mousefur: Put your food in it and come out here! Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Everyone: (glances at Redtail) Redtail: Why do I keep doing that? Graystripe: Okay! (puts food in a takeaway bag and comes outside) Spottedleaf: Graystripe! I love you! (hugs) Graystripe: And I love food! (hugs bag) (the bag tips over and everything falls out) Graystripe: (falls to knees) NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Daisy: HEY! Give me a line! D: Spottedleaf; Hi, strange cat! I love you! (hugs) Daisy: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! THIS IS CREEPY! D: Ferncloud: Director, why aren't you giving Daisy any lines? That's rude. Producer: Ferncloud! Just introduce the next housemate! Ferncloud: Please welcome housenate number eight, RUNNINGWIND! (Runningwind walks on to stage, wearing a T-shirt with Ivypool's face on it and carrying Ivypool posters) Ferncloud: Uh... Runningwind? That's a little creepy. Runningwind: But I love Ivypool! She's so amazing! Her sister is such a douche! Is Ivypool in the house? Please tell me she is! Ferncloud: You'll have to wait and see, honey. Contract says I'm not allowed to tell you who's in the house. Runningwind: NUUUUUUUUUU! LET ME IN! Ferncloud: Honey, you have to wait for the doors to open. (the doors open) Runningwind: I'm coming, Ivypool! (runs in to the house as quickly as humanely possible) Ferncloud: Well, that was weird. (in the house) Graystripe: Why, food? Why? Why did you have to die? You were so beautiful! Rosepetal: It's just food. Stop being so dramatic. Graystripe: Well, at least I can be dramatic, Kristen Stewart! Rosepetal: Stop calling me that. Daisy; WHY DO I NEVER HAVE ANY LINES!? Redtail: Because it's just like that. Spottedleaf: Oh, baby, it's okay. (hugs Daisy) Mousefur: GROUP HUG! (runs over) Daisy: NO! My hug! Go away! Mousefur: NUUUUUUUUU! (Runningwind enters the house) Runningwind: I'M COMING, IVYPOOL! WHERE ARE YOU!? Daisy: Ivypool isn't here, strange cat who's obsessed with Ivypool! Rosepetal: Ohy My StarClan. Why are all the cats from the first arc entering. Runningwind: SHUT UP, KRISTEN STEWART! I need to find Ivypool! Rosepetal: Why does everyone call me Kristen Stewart. Ravenpaw: Runningwind! Hi! Runningwind: (tackles Ravenpaw) Ravenpaw, you won't lie to me like these traitors! Where's Ivypool? Ravenpaw: I don't know who that is... Runningwind: (shows poster) It's her! Where is she? Ravenpaw: Oh, she isn't here. Runningwind: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BETRAYED ME TOO! D: IVYPOOOOOOOOL! (starts crying) Redtail: Oh, for the love of StarClan, Runningwind! Runningwind: Go away! You'll never understand the love we have! Mousefur: But you're about 5 years older than her. Runningwind: No one understands! (weeps) Spottedleaf: (hugs Runningwind) Runningwind, it's okay! I'm sure she'll come in later! Runningwind: (kicks Spottedleaf in the pool) No, you have no permission to hug me! Only Ivypool can do that! Spottedleaf: (splashes around madly) HELP MEEEEEEE! I'M MELTING! I'M MELTIIIIIIING! D: Rosepetal: It's just water. Stop being so dramatic. Spottedleaf: Well, at least I can be dramatic, Kristen Stewart! Rosepetal: Stop calling me that. That's really annoying. Daisy: STOP MAKING FUN OF MY DAUGHTER! Her name is Rosepetal, you kit-brained idiots! Runningwind: (is still weeping) IVYPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! D: Ferncloud: Prepare for the most awkward moment in history! Please welcome housemate number nine, IVYPOOL! (Ivypool walks on to stage) Ferncloud: Ivypool! Ivypool: Why did you say that? Ferncloud: Say what? Ivypool: Before I came on, you said "prepare for the most awkward moment in history.": Fernclouid: I didn't say that! Ivypool: Yes you did, I heard you. Now, what did you mean? Ferncloud: I... Well, I... Uh... (boots Ivypool in to the house) Ivypool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Ferncloud: (wipes brow) Phew! (in the house) Ivypoool: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (thud) Redtail: Ivypool! Daisy: Hi, Ivypool! Ivypool: Hi, Daisy and Redtail! Rosepetal: Yay. Ivypool's here. Woo. Ivypool: Hi, Rosepetal! Rosepetal: I didn't get called Kristen Stewart. Yay. Graystripe: Ivypool! Have you got any food? Ivypool: Nope. Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Need food, need food, need food... (runs to bedroom) AW, YES! I FOUND A HEAP OF CHOCOLATES! Daisy: (runs to bedroom) They'd better not be from under my bed! Redtail: CHOCOLATE! (runs to bedroom) Mousefur: But cats can't even taste sweet thing- Oh, never mind, this is a spoof. (runs to bedroom) Rosepetal: Wait for me. (runs to bedroom) Ivypool: Why is every cat fighting over chocolate when we can't taste sweet things? Spottedleadf: (grabs Ivypool's paw) Quick, honey, you need to come with me. Ivypool: Why? Spottedleaf: Because we need to hide you from- Runningwind: Is that Ivypool? Spottedleaf: Oh, no, I was too late! Ivypool: What's going on? Runningwind: IVYPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! (tacklehugs) Ivypool: AAAAAAAAAAAH! (Mousefur comes running from the bedroom) Mousefur: I have to see this! Rosepetal: Me too. (comes running) Daisy: And me! (runs) Ravenpaw: And me as well! (comes running) Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AWESOME POTATO FACE! Why do I keep doing that? Anyway, show time! (comes running) (everyone waits for Graystripe) Graystripe: (from bedroom) FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Daisy: Oh, well, he's not coming. Mousefur: Continue. Runningwind: IVYPOOOOOOL! (starts licking her everywhere) I LOVE YOU! Ivypool: Okay, dude, you're creeping me out! Runningwind: SIGN MY FUR! HAVE MY KITS! MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEE! (rubs his head all over her fur) Ivypool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! This is DoveXBumble all over again! Why do I have to be like my sister? Whyyyyyyy? Ravenpaw: Okay, lunatic, time to give Ivypool her private time. (drags Runningwind off Ivypool) Runningwind: (pushes Ravenpaw in the pool) YOU SHALL NEVER KEEP ME AWAY FROM MY LOVE! (dives back on to Ivypool) Come on. Ivypool: (desperately tries to crawl away) Help... me! (the microwave dings) Daisy: Oooh, the popcorn's ready! (runs to the kitchen) Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOD! (runs after her) Mousefur: Oh, I want popcorn! (runs to kitchen) Ravenpaw: Me too! (runs to kitchen) Rosepetal: And me. (runs to kitchen) Spottedleaf: (doesn't really know whether to join the others or help Ivypool) What should I? Redtail: Spottedleaf, quick! Graystripe's eating all the popcorn! Ivypool: Don't... Spottedleaf: Popcorn! (runs to kitchen) Ivypool: Spottedleaf! How could you? D: Spottedleaf: I'm sorry! D: Runningwind: (sigh) I can't wait for us to grow old together... Ivypool: (to public) Please vote me off first? Please? Runningwind: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! DON'T YOU DARE! Ivypool: Please!? D: (on stage) Ferncloud: Poor Ivypool! How could the housemates be so mean? I'm going to go in there and make them all say sorry! (marches to the doors) Producer: FERNCLOUD! Next one! Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate number ten... EEEEEEEEEEEEE! IT'S DUSTPELT! (Duspelt walks on to stage) Dusteplt: FERNYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (hugs) Ferncloud: DUSTYYYYYYY! (hugs) Dustpelt: Oooh, can you use your host powers to make me win? Producer: NO! Ferncloud: I don't have any host powers. Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUU! Oh, by the way, Ferncloud, did you remember to set all of Season 3 of Attack of the Mutant Potatoes to record? Ferncloud: Yes, I did. You won't miss any of it. Cat in Crowd: That's a stupid show! Dustpelt: IT IS NOT! Cat in Crowd: Yes it is! Dustpelt: NO, IT'S NOT! Ferncloud: SAY SORRY! Cat in Crowd: NO! Ferncloud: (blows up cat) Dustpelt: o.O Ferncloud: Okay, now you may enter the house! (Dustpelt enters through the doors) (in the house)\ (Duspelt enters) (no one is there) Dustpelt: Where is everyone? Surely I'm not the first to enter- I was waiting for ages! Spottedleaf: (from kitchen) We're in the kitchen eating popcorn! Dustpelt: Spottedleaf, is that- wait, did you say popcorn? Spottedleaf: Yes! Who's that? Dustepelt: It's Dustpelt! Ravenpaw: DUSTPELT! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Dustpelt: POCORN! (runs in to kitchen) (in the kitchen) Dusteplt: POPCOOOOOOOORN! Graystripe: All gone! (burp) Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Daisy: D:::::: Now I feel guilty! Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHA- STOP IT! D: Dustpelt: Hi, everyone! Rosepetal: Yay. Dustpelt. Another cat I know. Woo. Dustpelt: (falls asleep) Rosepetal: Am I really that boring. Runningwind: Yes, you are. Now, where's Ivypool? Ivypool: Dustpelt! Help! Dustpelt: (wakes up) What's going on? Mousefur: My brother's a stalker. Dustpelt: Oh. Runningwind, stay back! Runningwind: NUUUUUUUUU! You can't deny our love! (throws Dustpelt on to Mousefur) Mousefur: (in flirting voice) Well, hello, there. Dustpelt: AAAAAAH! I have a mate! Redtail: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Daisy: o.O Ravenpaw: Why are o.Oing? Daisy: Redtail's being weird. Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUU! I WENT IN TO A HOUSE FULL OF WEIRDOS! D: (on stage) Ferncloud: MOUSEFUR! STAY AWAY FROM DUSTY! Producer: Next one! Ferncloud: Here's housemate eleven, YELLOWFANG! (Yellowfang walks on to stage, carrying a crystal ball) Yellowfang: (waves paw over crystal ball) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Ommmmmmmmmmm! Ferncloud: Uh, Yellowfang? Hello? Yellowfang: Ommmmmm- shut up Ferncloud, I'm trying to predict the future here!-Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Ferncloud: Okay. We'll wait for you then. Yellowfang: Ommmmmmmmmmmmm! Ommmmmmmmmmmmm! Ommmmmmm! Ferncloud: Are you finished? Yellowfang: Ommmmmmmmmm- A-HA! I have predicted the future! Ferncloud: What have you predicted, oh wise and poweful psychic? Yellowfang: Do I hear sarcasm? Anyway, I have predicteed my finish in the competition! I will finish (bleep)! HA-HA! I was bleeped, so it must be true! I am the wise and powerful Yellowfang! Ferncloud: How amazing. Go and predict the future of the house, Yellowfang! Yellowfang: (waves paw over crystal ball) Ommmmmmmmmm! Ferncloud: Inside the house! Yellowfang: Oh, okay, (enters house) (in the house) Dustpelt: Why did I enter the house? This show is driving me insane! Rosepetal: Yes. Me too. Dustpelt: Stop being so boring! AAAAAAAAH! (Yellowfang enters) Yellowfang: Greetings, one and all! I am the powerful and mighty psychic, Yellowfang! Redtail: Yellowfang! Daisy: Hi, Yellowfang! Ravenpaw: Yellowfang! Another first arc cat! Oh, we are going to rule! Rosepetal: Nuuuuu. Another first arc cat. Why. Spottedleaf: Yellowfang! It's so good to see you! Yellowfang: You too! Mousefur: Yellowfang! This is urg- Runningwind: (shoves Mousefur out of the way) Predict the future for me! WIll I end up with Ivypool? Ivypool: NUUUUUUU! Graystripe: xD This is gonna be good! Yellowfang: Okay, everyone stand back! (everyone stands back) Mousefur: Hey! I wanted to talk to- Yellowfang: SHUSH! I NEED TO PREDICT THE FUTURE! Mousefur: Okay. Yellowfang: (waves paw over crystal ball) Magical ball! Show me tthe futurre! Will Runningwind end up with Ivypool? Ommmmmmm! Ommmmmmmmmmmm! Ommmmmm! Ivypool: Please no, please no! Runningwind: Please yes, please yes! Yellowfang: Ommmmmmmmm- A-HA! The future has been predicted! Runningwind: What is it? Tell meeeeeeeee! Yellowfang: The answer is: YES! Ivypool: WHAT!? NUUUUUUUUUUU! Runningwind: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (hugs Ivypool) I LOVE YOU! Ivypool: Help me! D: Mousefur: Yellowfang! This is important! Yellowfang: What is it? Mousefur: Can you speak grump? Yellowfang: Grumeph grump! Mousefur: (gasp) Grumpeh grumpeh grumnp! Yellowfang: GRUMPETEH! Graystripe: What are they talking about? Is it food? Speak English! Mousefur: Grumpus le grumpeh gru- Big Brother: NO! NO CONVERSATIONS IN GRUMP! Mousefur: NUUUUUUUUUU! Big Brother: This is your final chance! I swear, if I catch either of you speaking grump once more, and I mean even once more, you will be evicted! Got it? Yellowfang: Yes, Big Brother. Mousefur: Yes. Big Brother: Thank you. Mousefur: Dang! I can't even speak grump in my own house! Big Brother: IT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE! IT'S MINE! Mousefur: Jeez, calm down... (on stage) Ferncloud: Let's welcome housemate twelve, THORNCLAW! (Thornclaw walks on to stage) Thornclaw: Hi, Ferncloud! OMSC, am I really on Big Brother? Ferncloud: Yes. Thornclaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! House, here I come! (sprints in to house) Ferncloud: Well, that was the shortest introduction ever. (in the house) (Thornclaw enters) Thornclaw: HI, EVERYONEEEEEEEE! I'M SO EXCITED! WOOOOOO! Rosepetal: Yay. I'm excited too. Hi, Thornclaw. Thornclaw: Go away, Kristen Stewart! Rosepetal: Shut up. Daisy: Thornclaw! Yay! But, stop calling her Kristen Stewart! Thornclaw: Daisy! Yay! Redtail: Thornclaw! Hello! Thornclaw: The famous Redtail! YAAAAAAAAAY! OMSC, WHY AM I SO EXCITED!? Ravenpaw: Hi, Thornclaw! Thornclaw: Ravenpaw! EEEEEEEEE! I haven't seen you in moons! Ravenpaw: I know, right! Mousefur: Thornclaw, hi! Thornclaw: MOUSEFUR! MY OLD MENTOR! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (hugs Mousefur) Spottedleaf: Hi, Thornclaw! Thornclaw: SPOTTEDLEAAAAAAAAAAF! Dustpelt: Thornclaw! Please don't be weird! Thornclaw: DUSTPELT! WOOOOOOOOO! (hugs) Dustpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUU! Another weirdo! D: (jumps in to the bottom of the pool and stays there) Thornclaw: Is he ever coming out? Daisy: I don't think so. (Graystripe comes running from the kitchen) Graystripe: THORNCLAW! Got any food? Thornclaw: Oh, sure. (throws random box of cereal at Graystripe) Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (runs to the kitchen) Ivypool: Thornclaw! HELP! D: Thornclaw: What's wrong? Runningwind: (runs after Ivypool) MY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! We were meant to be together! Yellowfang predicted it! MARRY MEEEEEEEEE! Ivypool: HELP! D: Thornclaw: Oh... Well, I... Um... (jumps in to the pool and sinks down to the bottom) Ivypool: Oh, come on! D: Yellowfang: HEY! YOU DIDN'T GREET ME! D: Thornclaw: (pops head out of the pool) Hi, Yellowfang! Yellowfang: Hi! Thornclaw: (pops head back under pool) Yellowfang: Thank you. Thornclaw: (to Dustpelt) So... it's just you and me down here, huh? Dustpelt: Yep. Ferncloud: Please welcome housemate thirteen, LEAFPOOL! (Leafpool walks on to stage) Leafpool: Yay! I'm on Big Brother! I'm so ecited! Wow, I've been waiting 3 seasons for this! Hopefully I get further than my family. Did you know we finished last, 8th and second last? Our family kinda sucks. Ferncloud: Do you ever stop talking? Leafpool: No, because I have Sedatephobia, which is the fear of silence, so I have to keep talking and talking and talking so it's never silent! Ferncloud: Oh, okay. Cat in Crowd: EVERYBODY SHUT UP! Ferncloud: Don't... (silence) Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! SILENCE! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (starts hyperventilating) Ferncloud: Quick! Everyone talk! Cat in Crowd: Why? Ferncloud: Because there's no time to find a replacement contestant if she gets evacuated, which means there's one less contestant, which means that Season 3 will be one episode shorter! D: (everyone starts talking again) Leafpool: (starts breating normally again) Phew! I'm okay, I'm okay! Ferncloud: Please enter the house! Leafpool: Okay! (enters the house) (in the house) (Leafpool enters the house) Leafpool: Yay! I'm in the house, I'm in the house, woo! Hopefully I win. I mean, wouldn't that be awesome? I'd love to win! Daisy: Do you ever stop talking? Leafpool: Ferncloud already asked me that, but no, I don't, because I have a fear of silence. Daisy: Right. Yellowfang: Hi, Leafpool! Leafpool: Hi, Yellowfang! Wow, another Medicine Cat! Isn't this great? We can be Medicine Cat buddies! Yellowfang: Why don't you stop talking? D: Rosepetal: Yay. Leafpool's here. Awesome. Leafpool: Wow, hello, Kristen Stewart! Did you guys know Kristen Stewart was in Twilight? She played Bella Swan! Rosepetal: Stop calling me that. Graystripe: LEAFPOOL! Got any food? Leafpool: No, I don't have food! Why do you need food? Surely you've already got food. I'm not a charity, you know! Ravenpaw: LEAFPOOL! I knew your father! Leafpool: Yeah, I know you, Ravenpaw! It's great to finaly meet you for more than one chapter. Don't you think it's great? Wow, I'm gonna have an awesome time! Ravenpaw: Please stop talking. Thornclaw: Hey, Leafpool! Redtail: HI, LEAFPOOL! Spottedleaf: LEAFPOOL! Leafpool: Oh, wow, it's Spottedleaf! My dream guider who guides me through my dreams! Wow, Spottedleaf, it's nice to meet you in non-spirit form! Ravenpaw: WHY DOESN'T SHE STOP TALKING!? D: Mousefur: Hi, Leafpool! Leafpool: Mousefur! Hi! Isn't it nice to be in the Big Brother house? I think it is. YAY! Ravenpaw: Stop. Talking. Dustpelt: (hops out of the pool) Is this one sane? Leafpool: Dustpelt! I'm sane. Are you sane? Isn't everyone sane? Or are we all insane? HAHAHAHAHA! Dustpelt: Nope. (hops back in to pool) Ivypool: LEAFPOOL! GET RUNNINGWIND AWAY FROM ME! Runningwind: MY LOVE! DON'T RUN! EMBRACE YOUR FEELINGS FOR ME! Leafpool: Runningwind, you should stop creeping Ivypool out, because it's creeping us out. Do you like that? Huh? Do you? Stop it, creep! Runningwind: NEVER! (pushes Leafpool in the pool) Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Dustpelt: GET AWAY FROM ME, FREAK! (runs out of the pool) Leafpool: (climbs out of pool) I'm not a freak. What's a freak? Not me! Big Brother: SHUT UP! (silence) Leafpool: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! SILENCE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (faints) Mousefur: O...kay then. (on stage) Ferncloud: Please welcome the fourteenth and final housemate entering tonight, SPIDERLEG! (Spiderleg walks on to stage) Ferncloud: Spiderleg! Last housemate! How are you feeling? Spiderleg: I feel good! And I knew that I would! I feel good! Ferncloud: Quoting random song lyrics, are we, Spiderleg? Spiderleg: Maybe. Ferncloud: What's your strategy for winning? Spiderleg: Alliances! It's all about alliances! Oh, and you also have to be nice to every cat so none of them will nominate you. Ferncloud: I did that, and I got nominated quite a bit! Spiderleg: Yeah, but you suck, so... Ferncloud: D: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I DON'T SUCK! Spiderleg: Yes you do. Ferncloud: Get in the house, you mood wrecker! Spiderleg: Fine. (Spiderleg enters the house) (in the house) Leafpool: YAY! YAY! YAY! I wonder who the last housemate will be? Who do you think it will be? I couldn't guess! Ravenpaw: Why won't you shut up? D: Dustpelt: Whoever they are, I hope they're sane! (Spiderleg enters the house) Runningwind: SPIDERLEG! HOLD IVYPOOL DOWN SO SHE CAN'T ESCAPE ME! Ivypool: NUUUUUUUUUU! SPIDERLEG, HELP ME! D: Spiderleg: What's going on? D: Leafpool: Well, Runningwind's obsessed with Ivypool, so he's being really creepy! Spiderleg: Right. Rosepetal: Daddy's here. Yay. Awesome. (tacklehugs) Spiderleg: Rosepetal, I wish you'd show a little more emotion! Dustpelt: (hops out of the pool) Are you sane? Spiderleg: Hi, Dustpelt! Dustpelt: Yay! Sane cat! You are now my ally! Spiderleg: YAY! Yellowfang: Hello, Spiderleg! Ravenpaw: Hi, Spiderleg! Nice to meet you! Spiderleg: Yeah, you too. Daisy: Spiderleg... Spiderleg: Daisy... Redtail: REDTAIL! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M A GUINEA PIG! Spiderleg: What? Redtail: Why do I keep doing that? Spottedleaf: Spiderleg! Oh, honey, it's so good to see you! Spiderleg: Yeah, you too, strange cat. Mousefur: That's Spottedleaf. And hi, Spiderleg. Spiderleg: Hi, Mousefur! Graystripe: NEED MORE FOOOOOOOOD! SPIDERLEG, DO YOU HAVE FOOD? Spiderleg: Huh? Thornclaw: He always asks that. Just ignore him. Graystripe: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Spiderleg: I haven't got any. Sorry. Graystripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Big Brother: Oh, good, you're all here. All housemates to the lounge. Daisy: What? But the show always ends after the fourteenth housemate enters. Big Brother: I know, but this time I have some dramatic news. All housemates to the lounge. Spottedleaf: Where's that? Daisy: (bounces up and down) I know where it is! Spiderleg: Then take us there. Rosepetal: I wonder what the news is. (in the lounge) Big Brother: Housemates, welcome to Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 3! Everyone: THANKYOU! Big Brother: You're probably wondering why I called you here, yes? Graystripe: WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!? Ravenpaw: Yeah, why? Graystripe: I NEED FOOD! Thornclaw: Shut up about food! Big Brother: Well, I have some dramatic news. Leafpool: What is it? Big Brother: One of you... Is the mole! Everyone: (shocked gasp) Big Brother: One of you has been selected by me to be a mole and sabotage challenges, among other things. At the end of the Week 4 Nominations, you will vote for who you think is the mole. If the mole has the highest number of votes, they fail, and will be evicted. However, if someone else has the highest number of votes, they will be automatically nominated in Week 5, and the mole receives a special superpower. Leafpool: Ooooh! Yellowfang: Creepy! Big Brother: Until then, there is to be NO discussing who the mole is with any housemate, or attempting to influence another housemate's decision. However, publicly accusing some cat of being the mole is fine. Rosepetal: What happens if we discuss who the mole is. Big Brother: Well, Kristen Stewart, I'm glad you asked. Rosepetal: Stop calling me that. Big Brother: If any of you are caught discussing who the mole is, you will lose all your nomination points for the next week. Everyone: (shocked gasp) Big Brother: And not only that, those nomination points will be added against your tally! Spottedleaf: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Dustpelt: THE BETRAYAL! D: Big Brother: Housemates, enjoy your first night in the house. That is all.
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