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| - In 2001 an NBC camera crew spent a month at one of England's longest established public schools, Winrowton College, in the leafy Home County of Doltfordshire. The fly-on-the-wall style documentary they produced, "There'll always be an England?", still stands as one of the most telling exposés of life in an exclusive boarding school. Highlights from this ground-breaking film are reproduced below. "Hullo, delighted to meet you. On behalf of the staff and pupils, welcome to the fifth oldest school in England - Winrowton College. I'm Gerald Manley-Hopkins, I've been headmaster for the last eight years, the sixth Gerald Manley-Hopkins to be headmaster here. It's an hereditary post, of course, though one has to fight all one's siblings to the death in the main quad to be appointed. It's one of those quaint Medieval traditions we Brits cling to. Fortunately, I only had one sister and she was paraplegic, so she didn't put up much of a struggle. Certainly, there wasn't much fight left in her after I'd clubbed her over the head with the ceremonial mace a couple of times. Ironically, the day after her funeral we discovered that the headship can only be inherited through the male-line. But we'd given her such a lovely send-off I doubt she'd have minded. She's buried her over yonder, by the clematis. And what was left of her head is in the family mausoleum. Anyway, on a happier note, you've probably noticed this. It's the "Founding Stone" - set up here by Henry VII in 1485 for "Ye benefit of ye poore boys of Wynrowetowne". And we're very proud that over 500 years later we're still benefiting the poor of the village by employing so many of them to look after our kitchens and gardens. Not that what we pay will stop them being poor, but we are sworn to a policy of improving their lot. For the last ten years we've been looking to employ some teaching staff locally but I'm afraid we haven't found anyone in the village quite up to the task of taking year 7 Latin. They're quite happy hitting things with hammers and so forth but that's about the limit of their intellectual capacity. If their parents had only had the foresight to invest £25,000 a year in school-fees to send them here as pupils it would be a different matter, of course. But that's the poor for you. Consequently, the village boys are stuck with St. Alin's Comprehensive, which doesn't have the educational reputation it used to enjoy back in the days when it was still a reform school for the criminally insane. Still, I hear that it's on the upward path again. It became a Specialist Drama College recently, which is sure to improve the standard of the village pantomime in future years. Ah, here's the chap I wanted to introduce you to. I always say that the best way to get to know Winrowton College is to be shown around by the people who know it best - the boys. And James here is Senior Prefect and Captain of Crippen House, he knows every nook and cranny of the place having been a boarder here since his parents got fed up with him when he was scarcely weaned. Take these nice people on a tour, James, and make sure you show them Crippen. That's our largest and oldest boarding house, along with Quisling, Goebbels and Hufflepuff. And do try not to get lost this time, James. You know what a terrible dunderhead you are."
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