| Contents
| - :German Officer: [After their car hits the back of a manure truck] Das Poop!
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:[Brian, Stewie and Mort are standing on the return pad, talking about bringing Mort to England to protect him from the Nazi's]
:Mort Goldman: Oh, they're awful those Nazi's. If they catch me, they'll beat me unmerciful, and rub dirt in my assneck and all over my assy nipples.
:Stewie Griffin: ...what??
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:Mort: I wanna get back on the motorcycle.
:Brian: [sighing] I told you it's out of gas.
:Mort: Why isn't the time machine working?!
:Stewie: I don't know, Mort.
:Mort: I hate it here! I hate this god damn place! It's all a bunch of shit! It's all a bunch of God damn shit!
:Stewie: Okay, take it easy man.
:Mort: No! Fuck you, Stewie! I'm a Jew in Nazi occupied Europe! FUCK YOU! FUCK THE BOTH OF YOU!
:Brian: I didn't say anything.
:Stewie: Oh, thanks Brian.
:Mort: This is a bunch of shit!
:Stewie: Okay, you know what Mort, shut up! Alright just shut the fuck up! I don't give a shit about you. You know, we could just leave you here.
:Mort: Yeah, right. Just leave me here, that's great. We're in occupied Europe, and if you haven't noticed, I'm Jewish.
:Stewie: Oh, I've noticed. Helen Keller would notice.
:Brian: Haha.
:Mort: Eat my ass, Brian!
:Brian: Don't you mean your assneck?
:Mort: Shut up, that's a real thing.
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:German soldier: ACH! Unsere Unterseeboot sind stiehlen mit eine dog und baby und Art Garfunkel! [Translation: ACH! Our submarine is being stolen by a dog, a baby, and Art Garfunkel!]
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:[Three German Officers are walking past the alleyway Brian, Stewie and Mort are hiding in]
:Stewie: [Whispering off-screen] Hey, psst, fellas? You want to get a free caricature?
:German Officer #1: Oooh!
:German Officer #2: Yah!
:German Officer #3: I vant to be a shkateboarder!
:[They all walk into the alleyway, off-screen, and we hear the sounds of fighting and a single laser blast, before Stewie, Brian and Mort walk out adjusting the German Officers' clothing they're now wearing]
:Stewie: [Inspecting the lapel of his uniform] Hey, there's something on here. [Finds a McCain-Palin badge attached to his collar] Huh, that's weird.
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:[Stewie, Mort, and Brian walk into the uranium lab. On the way down, Stewie takes a marker and colors in his hair and gives himself a mustache to pass off at Hitler]
:Stewie: Hey guys!
:Scientists: Hitler!
:Scientist: How's it going, Mr. Hitler?
:Stewie: Well it's a dog-eat-dog Reich and I'm wearing bacon pants.
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:Brian:Oh No! Another wave of Nazis! We're outnumbered!
:Stewie:Oh I don't think so Brian!
:Prince Vultan:STAND BY MY HAWKMEN! DIVE!
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:[Brian, Stewie and Mort are in the bomber when its engine is shot and the plane takes a nose-dive]
:Mort Goldman: Oh my God and Baby Jesus we're going down!! [He runs to the back and opens the door of the plane] Quick! Get the parachutes!
:Brian Griffin: [Runs in holding an emergency raft] There are no parachutes! All I could find was this!
:Stewie Griffin: A raft?? We're not sinking...[High-pitched] we're craaaashiiiiing!!
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:Stewie: Pardon me, sir. I'd like to join.
:Officer: What are your qualifications?
:Stewie: I have a British accent, I'm possibly homosexual, I never brush my teeth, and my wife is ghaaastly.
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:Stewie: Wait a minute, Germany's building Weapons of Mass Destruction? Well, why doesn't America go in there and kick their asses?
:Brian: [Turning towards the viewer and squinting his eyes] I dunno, maybe because they don't have any oil.
:Stewie: [Doing the same] Oooooohhhh... clap-clap-clap-clap-clap!
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:[Stewie, Brian and Mort have been caught impersonating German Soldiers by Hitler and his two bodyguards]
:Hitler: Execute them! [The German bodyguards cock their pistols and aim at their heads] Unless...
:Brian: Unless what??
:Hiter: Unless they can sing a charming musical number!
:[Stewie and Brian look at each other, smile, and then don hats and canes as music starts up]
:Stewie and Brian: Whenever...
:Mort: DAMMIT, WILL YOU TWO JUST GET IN THE FUCKING TIME MACHINE?!
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:[Mort barges into Stewie's room]
:Mort: Can I poop in here?!
:Stewie and Brian: NO!
:Mort: ...too late.
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:Stewie: Hey hey hey hey! What are you doing in my room? Don't touch my stuff with your dirty, walking-on-the-street paws!
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