About: Oregon Trail

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An Entity of Type : owl:Thing, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

You're taking your family out west. You're all like, "This is gonna totally rock! I'm gonna kidnap and ravish me an Indian princess and make her my bride!" Only, it doesn't work out that way. Your ox dies while fording the river. Bad call, dumbass. You should have paid the toll to cross it safely. Well done. What Indian princess would want a crazed whitey without an ox? Then your hunting party gets ravaged by Injuns, or the Cleveland Indians. And some whiny jerk dies of the cholera. What the hell is cholera?! I think it involves diaherra. Eww. I guess you could click on that blue word and find out, but you won't. You WILL finish reading this article first. Then, I don't care what the hell you do.

Attributes	Values
rdfs:label	Oregon Trail
rdfs:comment	You're taking your family out west. You're all like, "This is gonna totally rock! I'm gonna kidnap and ravish me an Indian princess and make her my bride!" Only, it doesn't work out that way. Your ox dies while fording the river. Bad call, dumbass. You should have paid the toll to cross it safely. Well done. What Indian princess would want a crazed whitey without an ox? Then your hunting party gets ravaged by Injuns, or the Cleveland Indians. And some whiny jerk dies of the cholera. What the hell is cholera?! I think it involves diaherra. Eww. I guess you could click on that blue word and find out, but you won't. You WILL finish reading this article first. Then, I don't care what the hell you do.
dcterms:subject	Video games Oregon Oregon Trail
dbkwik:uncyclopedi...iPageUsesTemplate	dbkwik:resource/i2ydhLqGWWCxMTAhmnttaA== dbkwik:resource/OgIQ67353oYc0oXIqtAOsA==
abstract	You're taking your family out west. You're all like, "This is gonna totally rock! I'm gonna kidnap and ravish me an Indian princess and make her my bride!" Only, it doesn't work out that way. Your ox dies while fording the river. Bad call, dumbass. You should have paid the toll to cross it safely. Well done. What Indian princess would want a crazed whitey without an ox? Then your hunting party gets ravaged by Injuns, or the Cleveland Indians. And some whiny jerk dies of the cholera. What the hell is cholera?! I think it involves diaherra. Eww. I guess you could click on that blue word and find out, but you won't. You WILL finish reading this article first. Then, I don't care what the hell you do. So, what do you do next? Well, if you were lucky enough to play the open source code version for Apple, you just hacked that sucker and added dirty words and unlikely outcomes!! Wow. Good stuff. Good times. You could also go hunting, the most entertaining part of the game. You shoot and shoot 19374850 lbs. of meat, but your pioneer is fat and can only carry back 200 lbs. The only way to win the game is, and coincidentally most awesome way, to follow these steps: * Be a BANKER. They are the ONLY occupation that has the money to get to Oregon. Money means everything, get over it. * Don't waste your money on shit like banjos. Is a banjo going to help you shoot oxen or ward off dysentery? I didn't think so. * Set your pace to "grueling" and never stop for rests. If you hit winter, everyone WILL die. * Set your rations to "bare bones". Combined with the grueling pace, none of your travelers will get tired or sick.

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