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| - OA: 5SOS by Firey <3 Willowfur told Applebreeze the next day about Blackshadow's stunned and hurt expression. "You should have given him a chance," she scolded, "You're being too cold with him." The orange she-cat frowned, "He's the one who started it!" Her best friend sighed, "How so?" "He's been ignoring me and I don't even think he loves me!" Applebreeze closed her eyes, "It's almost as if our few days together were just some play time for him. If he doesn't love me, why should I even bother giving him a chance?" Willowfur shook her head, "That's for you to figure out, Applebreeze." The orange she-cat sighed and rested her head on her paws. "I don't know what to do, Willowfur," she mewed brokenly, "Does he even love me?" Willowfur thought back to what Blackshadow had told her and replied, "That's for you to decide, too," she murmured, "Some secrets are hard to uncover, but I know you can do it." "Hey, Applebreeze!" Ashflight called out, "Do you want to take Stormpaw and Littlepaw out for a hunting lesson?" The orange warrior turned to the gray tom, "Sure!" She purred, "I'll go get Stormpaw." She bounded over towards the apprentice den and poked her head in. Stormpaw was curled up on her nest, snoring away. "Stormpaw!" she laughed, "Wake up, you lazy lump of fur!" Moments later, the four cats set out. Applebreeze thought she saw a black pelt flash at the corner of her view, but she ignored it. Even if it was Blackshadow, she didn't want anything to do with him. "Come on," Ashflight tugged them towards the Sky Oaks, "Let's do some hunting practice and check the border while we're at it." Applebreeze was content to let the tom take her. Even though she didn't find him quiet as attractive, Applebreeze knew how much she meant to him. Since Blackshadow was ruled out...she could try to find some love in Ashflight. "Show me your crouch again, Stormpaw," Applebreeze ordered as they stopped by the towering oaks. "See if you can out beat your sister." Stormpaw's green eyes shown with determination and she crouched, remembering to even out her legs and weight. "You too, Littlepaw," Ashflight added. The two warriors stood side by side, admiring their apprentice's positioning. "You're stance is a bit off, Stormpaw," Applebreeze mewed suddenly, circling her apprentice, "You're leaning slightly to the right. If you jump now, you'll be slightly off, and your left leg may disrupt a few leaves straying by your side." Ashflight was surprised Applebreeze had caught that, he himself couldn't tell what she pointed out, but as she told Stormpaw how to adjust her stance, he understood where the orange she-cat saw it. She has a sharp eye... Applebreeze also lectured Littlepaw on how she was shifting too much while crouching, and how she could change that. After that, they did real hunting. Each time an apprentice failed to catch a piece of prey, instead of chastising them, Applebreeze taught them what they did wrong and how they could change it. "You were too nervous, Littlepaw, if you relaxed a bit, you might have noticed your tail had gone straight up, which hit the branch above your head and scared the squirrel away." "Stormpaw, you're leaning on your right again! Even though it was subtle, it alerted the mouse because you had uneven footsteps." At the end of the session, Ashflight whispered to the other warrior, "You're a brilliant hunter, Applebreeze." "Thanks," Applebreeze mewed, feeling her ears slightly grow hotter. "You're not so bad yourself, Ashflight." The tom shook his head. "You never cease to amaze me with your hunting skills," Ashflight insisted, "You're always paying close attention and you know exactly when to leap. That's not something I can develop overtime, it's your specific skill." Applebreeze was definitely blushing now. "Um...I'm only good with land prey," she offered, "Fish is a lot harder to catch for me." "We'll see," Ashflight purred, nudging her towards the river, "Why don't we teach our apprentices how to fish?" "Yeah!" Stormpaw agreed fervently, "That way you two can stop mooning over each other!" Littlepaw snickered, "Not in a million years would they end up together!" Applebreeze rolled her eyes as she chased them towards the river. But in her mind, she could only think about Blackshadow. They reached the river quickly, the apprentices impatient and the mentors exasperated. Applebreeze felt at ease with Ashflight, despite realizing that the gray tom had an obvious crush on the orange she-cat. She did fell her heart tug at her, but Blackshadow's face was still etched in her mind. "You do the demonstration," Ashflight offered, "You're better at this after all." "You don't know that!" the orange she-cat protested, "I taught them how to hunt land prey. You teach them how to hunt fish!" Ashflight pretended to pout, and Stormpaw let out a cough, "Are you two done there?" she asked cheekily, dodging her mentor's blow. The gray tom rolled his eyes and scooted over to the river, explaining as he went. "You have to keep your shadow away from the river or else the fish will get scared. Then, when you think you've spotted one-" "You have to be absolutely sure or you'll miss and scare the other fish away," Applebreeze interrupted, unable to resist. "Alright, when you know you have one, just fish it out quickly with your paw-" "No it's with your claw," Applebreeze frowned, "There's a difference, Ashflight. Now show them instead of ranting with words because you make no sense." Ashflight let out a sigh, "I told you to explain but no." Applebreeze gave him a stern glare and he focused on the water instead. His paw flashed into the water but he came up empty. "Oops," he purred sheepishly, "I thought I had one there, but it was just my paw's shadow..." Stormpaw was giggling and Applebreeze muttered, "Okay, okay, I get it! I'll do the demonstration," she stalked forward, her tail high. The two apprentices scurried forward to watch the she-cat, their gazes glued to her paws. Without hesitation, Applebreeze fished out a trout and pinned it to the ground. "When you have one," she continued, "You just kill it on the shore and there you go." Ashflight whispered in her ear, "Told you that you were good at fishing too." Applebreeze swatted him away. 'Cause every night she studies hard in her room As Applebreeze settled into her nest that night, she remembered how when she was an apprentice, she would practice every night to perfect her hunting skills. She was good for sure, all the mentors were impressed with her ease as a hunter. But Applebreeze wasn't satisfied with being 'good'. She wanted to be 'excellent'. Her mentor didn't give out praise easily, so Applebreeze knew she had to work extra hard to show that she was the best hunter out of all the apprentices. Her mentor had always challenged her to try to be the best in everything. "If you aim high, you'll always earn something, even if it's lower than you wanted," her mentor had once told her, "I want you to try to be the best in everything." So that's what Applebreeze wanted to do. She had gone outside at night, sneaking past the guards just to practice stalking prey and hunting for her Clan while she was at it. At least...at first that was what she did. After a bit, she realized that Blackshadow-Blackpaw at the time-had also been outside. He was practicing everything he had learned from his mentor, because he had learned that he was half-Clan. It was hard for him to get credit, so Blackpaw had practiced every night. Of course, Applebreeze-Applepaw then-had found him utterly handsome and the hardworking tom she wanted. So after finding out where Blackpaw went to train every night, Applepaw, instead of practicing herself, watched him from a distance. She admired his determination and didn't really care that he was half-Clan. To her, he was a tom who deserved more love than he got. She was determined to be the one to give him that love, even if he never returned it. Those nights were the nights she realized that she had a crush on Blackpaw for real, and that her desire for the black tom was overwhelming. Her mentor had found out though. At first, it was merely just a lie about how she had been planning on practicing her hunting moves, but it was obvious that Applepaw had just been plainly staring at Blackpaw. "He's working hard and if he notices you, you'll only distract him," her mentor scolded her, "Now if you really want to practice, then actually practice!" "Yes," Applepaw murmured, "I will." "Honestly, mooning over a tom like him? Don't you have any pride in your Clan and blood? He's half-Clan for StarClan's sake!" Applepaw frowned, "That doesn't make him any different than anyone else." "Of course it does," her mentor muttered, "Who knows where his loyalties lie? We can't fully trust him yet. We can only hope that his training is for LeafClan, not HollyClan." Applepaw had bristled, "You guys are all judging him because of his parents' mistakes! It's not his fault he's half-Clan! He's working twice as hard just to be recognized as a loyal apprentice of LeafClan. That's not fair at all!" Her mentor had shook her head, "Now you forget about Blackpaw and focus on your training." "If I beat him in combat and hunting in our next assessment, will you forget about this incident?" Applepaw asked. Her mentor had considered the words, "Yes, Applepaw, I will." 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught. "The best warriors are the ones who tend to get in trouble for daring things," Applepaw mewed to her mentor. This was the second time she had been pulled aside for talking to Blackpaw. She hadn't beaten Blackpaw in combat, which meant that her mentor hadn't forgotten about the first incident. "No, the best warriors are the ones who follow all the directions and are loyal to their Clan," her mentor snapped. "I am loyal!" "He isn't." Applepaw flattened her ears, "How do you know he's not? He's trying as hard as he can to prove it, but you're all too afraid to see that!" "You may think you're a 'good warrior', but at the rate this is going at, you're never going to be a good warrior. You're spending too much time drooling over a tom you're never going to get." "I'll try harder to be the best apprentice," Applepaw begged, "Please just forget you're seeing me with him! I want this to become true!" Her mentor had sighed, "Only if you become the best of the best." 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught." Blackshadow, who had disappeared for the past three days to visit the main camp, had came back to organize patrols once again. "Applebreeze, Ashflight, Stormpaw, and Littlepaw, you're with me." Applebreeze narrowed her eyes. Ashflight and Blackshadow on the same patrol? This was going to be terrifyingly awkward. For some reason, everything she saw the deputy, she felt guilty for hanging out with Ashflight so much. She almost felt like she was betraying Blackshadow. That's a pile of dung, Applebreeze thought to herself, Blackshadow was the one who seemed to be pushing you away. You have every right to move on to someone like Ashflight. "Let's go!" Blackshadow called, "We're the only hunting patrol going out right now, so we're in charge with feeding the Clan." "Good thing we taught our apprentices how to hunt yesterday," Ashflight purred, "Wasn't it a fun day?" Applebreeze laughed and smiled, "Yeah, I learned that you suck at hunting." Ashflight raised his tail in submission, "It's not my fault I'm bad! It's my natural ability. I have to suck at everything." "I'm sure you're good at something," Applebreeze purred, "Maybe like...your looks?" Ashflight stared at her for a few seconds, shock and surprise lingering. "Do you mean that?" he asked, "Because I've been thinking..." Applebreeze turned away, "I mean it," she mewed lowly, "But I don't know how I feel." She could feel Blackshadow's gaze burning her back. Applebreeze tried to pretend that Blackshadow's glare hadn't bothered her. She stuck by Ashflight's side, though she knew that Ashflight was just a good friend. He wasn't the same. Blackshadow...was a different story altogether. He had opened her heart, made her ignore her mentor's warnings and defy her mentors will. He had given her the chance to feel love and its embrace. But he had also let her taste the bitterness of a heartbreak. She was almost certain that because he was the one ignoring her and pushing her away (despite everything they've been through in the few days together), it was okay for her to try something with Ashflight. The gray tom was equally caring and handsome. He just wasn't someone she was attracted to. Yet whenever she found herself with Ashflight, she felt guilty and thought she was betraying Blackshadow by being with the gray tom. She didn't even know anymore. So she tread carefully, making sure only to be around Ashflight when Blackshadow wasn't around. As long as Blackshadow didn't notice her slight affection towards Ashflight, she would still be his "good she-cat" and his "mate". "Good job," a voice sounded close to her ear. Applebreeze shivered in delight at hearing Blackshadow's voice, "You've always been good at hunting." Unlike Ashflight's praise, Blackshadow's words made Applebreeze feel...happy. He had noticed her skill for hunting and acknowledged that she's always been good. He must have always kept an eye on her, just like she did with him. "Thank you," she replied, trying to make her voice steady, "Is there any reason you're...nicer today?" Blackshadow looked hurt, "What do you mean?" Ashflight's scent washed over her, and she reminded herself to focus her attention on Blackshadow. "Nothing," she muttered, turning away, "I'll tell you next time." Without talking to either of the toms, Applebreeze bounded off into the trees to keep hunting. Why do two toms have to make it so difficult? She had to stay focused. Now it wasn't about liking one of the toms and making sure he focused on her too. She wanted to feed her Clan and make sure everyone survived. Yes... ...that would be her mission for now. At least until she figured out how to sort out her problems with the deputy and the gray tom. Hopefully it'll get easier to be the perfect she-cat... "Come on, Stormpaw," she encouraged, "I know you can remember how to stalk a sparrow and catch it. Try again on that crow over there." The little gray she-cat frowned and crouched down. Immediately, Applebreeze saw her apprentice's mistake. "You're putting all your weight on your heels of your paws rather than your leaning forward." She adjusted her apprentice's positioning, "If you lean forward, you can run at the crow easily and you're always ready to leap at it." Stormpaw nodded and tried again. Applebreeze could feel Blackshadow watching her, but she ignored him. Right now, she had no focus on helping Stormpaw get better. She wanted to make sure Stormpaw became the best of the best. "Try again," Applebreeze repeated, pointing at the crow who perched on the root of the tree a few tail-lengths ahead of them. Stormpaw crouched, determined. She ran forward, making sure she stepped lightly to avoid arousing suspicion. Then, she took off, leaping at the crow with her claws outstretched. The bird had no time to react. Stormpaw's claws snatched it out of thin air and she bit down at its neck, killing it. "Good job!" Applebreeze praised, "I always knew you could do it." She was smiling at her apprentice, knowing that Stormpaw had the same determination she had when she was an apprentice. A determination that would lead her to try her best to rise to the top and be the best. "You practiced a lot, didn't you?" Blackshadow suddenly asked her, "When you were an apprentice? You notice everything." Applebreeze was flustered. She hadn't realized that Blackshadow was analyzing how she reprimanded Stormpaw and taught her how to correct her mistake. "It was my mentor who encouraged me to," she muttered, "It wasn't something I did with my own mind." "It seems you've taught your skill and patience to your apprentice though," Blackshadow purred, "It was a good choice to make you a mentor." She had forgotten that Blackshadow had made the decision, not Darkstar. Stormpaw had ran ahead to show Littlepaw her prize. Applebreeze eyed the young she-cat and sighed, "Hunting just comes naturally to me. Just like how you excel at fighting." She hadn't meant to praise him on anything, but the words just flowed out of her mouth. Blackshadow smiled slightly, making Applebreeze's heart tug towards him. "Surely your skill if better than mine," he mewed softly, "Yes, fighting is useful, but if you can't hunt well, how can you help your Clan anyways?" She shrugged, trying to search for a proper answer, "You could always protect your Clan, just like you've always had." "You flatter me." Applebreeze hadn't realized how close they had gotten. Taking a step back before Blackshadow could do anything, the orange she-cat dipped her head, "Well, I better make sure Stormpaw is still doing well...aren't we out here to hunt?" Something flashed across Blackshadow's eyes, but he nodded, "You love being out in the forest, don't you?" "It's like my second home," Applebreeze agreed, "Just being out here calms me. I love the way the forest smells...the winds that blow...just everything about it." She paused. "No doubt, if I'm not in camp, I'm out here...hunting." Blackshadow opened his mouth to say something, only to hesitate, "Sometimes I look for you," he admitted, "Because I wanted to see if we could...catch up." She froze, "What?" "You know, talk a bit. We haven't done much for a few weeks. I've been pretty busy, and well...nevermind," he shook his head. "If you want to talk," Applebreeze frowned, "We could just do it right now." Blackshadow took a deep breath, "Not like...this. I want to be mates again, Applebreeze, I know you feel awkward, but I also have something important to ask you." "What is it?" Before Blackshadow can reply, Ashflight came towards them, "Hey, Applebreeze, do you want to join us? There's a nest of birds here and I think we need your help!" The orange she-cat didn't look back as she hurried away. She could feel Blackshadow's remorseful gaze trailing her, but she reminded herself that he was the one pushing her away all the time and that she shouldn't be too attached. She had other things to do. 'Cause in the back of the room where nobody looks After the hunting trip, the five of them returned to camp. "Hey, Applebreeze!" Willowfur purred, "Guess what?" She was in a good mood. The orange tabby cat tilted her head, "What happened, Willowfur? You don't usually grin so much." The gray she-cat lashed her tail, "Foxfur said he liked me and wanted to be mates!" Applebreeze stared at her best friend, shocked. "When? What exactly happened? I need to know all the details!" Willowfur elaborated quickly, "We were out on a small hunt, just me and him. It's like the normal things we do, talk...mess around. Then he touched noses with me and told me that he's always had something for me and that if I was open to it, we could be mates." "What did you say?" Applebreeze demanded. Willowfur purred in delight, "I agreed of course." Applebreeze was elated for her friend, "That's great, Willowfur! I always knew you and Foxfur would make a cute couple. Now in a few moons...there'll be little Willowfurs and little Foxfurs running around in the camp." She laughed. Willowfur rolled her eyes, "Don't get too excited now will you?" Applebreeze smirked, but at that moment, she spotted Blackshadow. Her face fell immediately. Willowfur nudged her, "Hey, what's wrong now?" "It's him." Willowfur glanced at the deputy and she frowned. She knew what Blackshadow had told her, but it wasn't in her position to inform Applebreeze. "Yeah, what about him? You used to sigh when you see him and daydream about your future together." Applebreeze grimaced, "Yeah, and?" "And what?" Willowfur sighed, "You two got together and decided the two of you couldn't hold back your love any longer." "But you know how he's been like!" Applebreeze protested, "He's been ignoring me as if I've got some mutant disease. We've been together for three days or something. Maybe I've been foolish to think that he loved me." Willowfur paused. She had many thoughts running through her mind, but she knew she couldn't tell Applebreeze everything. So she simply said, "Blackshadow's always like that, silly, he's just not ready to show you his inner self. Plus, he's the deputy, he's busy for StarClan's sake! Give him some slack and wait a bit, you'll see." Applebreeze nodded but she didn't look reassured. That night, Applebreeze stood up silently, "I can't sleep, I'm going out into the forest, okay? Probably do some hunting." Willowfur was used to this. Applebreeze usually went to hunt and practice if she wasn't feeling too good or she couldn't sleep. "Mm...get something good for me out there," she murmured sleepily, "Or get something Foxfur likes so I can give it to him later." Applebreeze rolled her eyes and strolled outside, taking her time to reach the entrance and slipped out. She walked around in the forest, sniffing the air. "Guess you really do come out here a lot." Applebreeze started, "Blackshadow! You scared me." "Nothing scares you," Blackshadow tipped his head, "At least, I don't think anything really does." Applebreeze frowned. "Why are you here anyways?" The deputy blinked, "I can go where I want, can't I?" he asked softly, "Why are you so tense? We can finally have a few moments together, right?" "Not with the way you've been acting," Applebreeze muttered. Blackshadow had a conflicted look on his face, "I can't really explain why, okay? Please...just give me a few days or something, I have to sort it out first. But let's enjoy this night together." Applebreeze nodded reluctantly, though she craved for his attention. "Alright, what do you want to do?" "How about...just a talk or something?" Blackshadow asked, "We can catch up with each other." Better than nothing I guess...at least he's trying, Applebreeze told herself. "Okay...well, how are the cats in the camp doing?" "Not like that," Blackshadow breathed out. He leaned over and touched his nose to Applebreeze, "This moment is ours, remember?" A shiver of delight ran through her at his touch and she reached forward with her tail to wrap hers around his. "Yeah." Her heart is accelerating and she realizes how much she has wanted this to happen more. "We should try to steal more moments together," she murmured, "Please?" Blackshadow was hesitant, "I have reasons to stay away, Applebreeze. I can't do this too often...but I'll try." Applebreeze wasn't thrilled to hear that Blackshadow didn't want to tell her why he had been avoiding her so often, but she nodded. "As long as we get to be together...sometimes." She would have to settle with that for now. 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught. "I saw you with Ashflight the other day," Blackshadow broke the silence, "What were you two doing?" There's some hidden jealousy in his voice. Applebreeze feels the familiar twinge of guilt at the thought of being with Ashflight. "He just wanted to hunt with me, that's all?" "Why?" Turn the questions around, Applebreeze thought. "Why do you ask?" She tilted her head, "It's not really important..." Blackshadow bit his lip, "I'm just wondering...if he's shown any interest towards you. You hang out with him a lot recently." "Forget him," she breathed out, "I don't love him, if that's what you're worried about. I've just been...needing something to talk to other than Willowfur and Foxfur." Blackshadow winced at that, "I'm really sorry for seeming like I'm ignoring you. It's just...complicated...I can't explain it yet." "I know," Applebreeze muttered, "Just...don't worry too much about Ashflight, he's just a mere friend of mine, that's all." "Right..." 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught." Applebreeze knew she had to take a step further to convince Blackshadow that she wasn't cheating on him (even though she kind of was). "Look, Ashflight's not my type, okay? Yeah, he's really nice and he doesn't act half as mysterious as you do, but everything he does doesn't make me swoon." Like you do. Blackshadow nodded again, though he looked a bit more convinced. "I have no right to be jealous," he mumbled, "It's my fault anyways." "You could just tell me," the orange she-cat prompted. Blackshadow shook his head, "Not...yet," he sighed, "I shouldn't even be here right now. I don't want to risk it." "Risk what?" "Nothing," Blackshadow's looked away, "That slipped out of my mouth." Applebreeze suppressed a sigh and stepped forward to touch noses with the deputy, "Please, if you care about me, please?" Blackshadow had a mixed expression, "You're only making it harder, Applebreeze. I told you before, I can't tell you!" "Fine," she turned to walk away, "Guess we were never really mates, huh?" Blackshadow was silent for a moment, but then his next words cut at her heart. "Yeah, guess so, Applebreeze." Dawn came too soon. Applebreeze curled up tighter, not wanting to climb out of her nest to see Blackshadow's luminous yellow eyes. Finally, Willowfur nudged me awake for the dawn patrol and I reluctantly dragged myself up. As she followed Foxfire and Willowfur out, she grew pensive staring at their backs. Her mind drifted to Ashflight and Blackshadow. Both toms appealed to her in different ways. Ashflight was kind and always watching out for her. He cared deeply for her and wanted to make sure she was safe at all times. Applebreeze liked his company, but sometimes even the gray tom took it too far while being with her. Blackshadow was a regal figure and had his own duties such as being a deputy. He didn't take things for granted and constantly seemed to ignore Applebreeze. He kept secrets from her too. Applebreeze didn't like some things about the deputy, but she craved his attention. "Hey, Applebreeze, hurry up!" Willowfur called out to her. Applebreeze bounded after her friends, wishing that she could change her future and somehow end up with the black tom. That was all she wanted. And that was what she was going to get. Foxfire and Willowfur were flirting in front of Applebreeze. Willowfur was making tons of smart remarks while Foxfire tried to mimick her. "I do not act like a stuck up know-it-all!" Willowfur protested, pouting slightly, "You're obviously mistaken, fine warrior." "Why do you sound so incredulous?" Foxfire laughed, "I am a fine warrior. At least I can admit my mistakes." "Admitting that you are a fine warrior is not a mistake." Foxfire rolled his eyes, "No, not that! I can think of so many examples where I have been a humble warrior. I've never boasted about my skill in front of anyone!" "Name one time." The orange tom froze, "Willowfur," he sighed exasperatedly, "What does this have to do with you not being a stuck up know-it-all?" "Don't avoid the question," Applebreeze's best friend narrowed her eyes, "Plus, when have I been 'nobody'?" Foxfire looked thoroughly embarrassed, "Well, I...forget that question!" He looked away, "And what do you mean? You've been somebody, you're like my girlfriend or something!" "Girlfriend? You just called me a nobody," Willowfur cocked her head, smirking, "Certainly this 'nobody' is the only cat you've been boasting to." "I was not boasting!" "Now you're not even admitting your mistake!" Willowfur crowed, "What a fine warrior you are, indeed!" "I am one!" "And you say you don't boast." "I don't! I'm only stating the truth!" "Humble warriors don't tell others that they are better than everyone else. Humble and fine warriors tell everyone that they are worse then they actually are." "Ugh, whatever, you win." "And this is why I love you." Applebreeze's whiskers twitched as she listened to her friends bicker. "Guys, can we at least focus on the border patrol?" "That is not my concern right now," Willowfur dismissed, "Foxfire needs me to calm him down for a second. I'm afraid he might burst." Foxfire huffed, "You're so annoying." "Back at you." The tom rolled his eyes goodnaturedly, "Nothing fazes you, huh?" "I can name one thing that does: you." Foxfire grimaced and shot Applebreeze a glare. Do something! His expression read, but Applebreeze kept her calm calm and stared back at him with a blank expression. Foxfire made a face at her, then turned to Willowfur. "Now obviously I please you and-" "You only please me because you're fun to mess with." "I don't even understand how our relationship has lasted this long," Foxfire muttered, "Not with you shooting me down every time I open my mouth." "Our relationship has only lasted a day, Foxfire, are you having second thoughts?" Willowfur purred, which only seemed to make Foxfire even more infuriated. "Great StarClan," Foxfire smacked Willowfur, "How did I end up with such a stuck up she-cat?" Willowfur leaned forward, "You're the one who can't deal with this. I'd say you're the stuck up know-it-all here." Applebreeze purred to herself, playing along with them. Even though she was a mess instead, thinking about the two toms she could never choose from, Applebreeze let her friends have their fun. Plus, if they argued, she wouldn't have to talk. And that meant more time to think. That night, Ashflight asked her to go out on a night hunt with him. "I can't sleep," he confessed, "And I thought you'd want to come." Applebreeze had agreed. She wasn't in the mood to sleep either, and she wanted to let the night air clear her troubled mind. As the two weaved their way through the forest, Applebreeze fervently hoped that Blackshadow wasn't out here. She didn't want him to see the two of them together. Blackshadow - even though he had often ignored her - was still a magnate part of her life. "Applebreeze, do you..." Ashflight looked rather hesitant, "Do you love me?" The orange she-cat was taken aback. "W-why?" she asked, blinking, "Why do you ask, Ashflight?" She paused again, "Do you...love me?" "Yes," Ashflight murmured, "I think I do." Memories of Blackshadow's confession to her flashed at the back of her mind. She involuntarily took a step back, which caused Ashflight to flinch. "I-I don't know," Applebreeze tried to keep her emotions in check, "I can't decide right now, Ashflight, I'm in no position-" "It's because of-" Rustling interrupted their conversation and Applebreeze's eyes went wide as she realized who was gaining on them. "Hurry, behind this bush and back to camp," Applebreeze breathed out, "We can't let him see us!" But it was too late. Blackshadow's expression was unfathomable. "What are you two doing out here so late at night?" he frowned, "Is there something wrong that I should know about?" "No, nothing's wrong, Blackshadow," Ashflight mewed curtly, "We only wanted to hunt, that's all." "Hunt?" Blackshadow repeated incredulously, "You two were about to jump into a bush like squirrels jumping up a tree." Applebreeze bit her lip, "I think we need to talk, Blackshadow." The deputy eyed her, something uncertain in his gaze, "There's nothing to discuss, Applebreeze, I'm not mad at you." "We started with a walk," Ashflight added, "We couldn't sleep, both of us, so we decided to go out together." Applebreeze instantly winced, wishing Ashflight didn't make it sound like that. Blackshadow's yellow eyes hardened slightly, and he repeated, "I'm not mad at you." Ashflight relaxed slightly, and he mewed, "Well, if you and Applebreeze want to talk, I'll leave you two be." He leaned over and touched noses with Applebreeze, "See you." Blackshadow stiffened. Applebreeze pulled back immediately, "You can't do that," she whispered harshly, "We're not...like that." Ashflight only gave her a long look before disappearing. Blackshadow and Applebreeze stared at each other for an awfully long time. All Applebreeze could think about was the fact that the black tom was staring at her so intensely. It wasn't as if he was infactuated with her, it was as if he couldn't believe what had just happened. She didn't blame him though, it must have been a lot to disgest. "So..." Blackshadow didn't speak for a good, long five seconds. "What...exactly," he mewed quietly, "was that?" His eyes were hard, and she could see the obvious hurt simmering. "What do you mean?" she swallowed, trying to find a good excuse, "Ashflight and I are only good friends, that's all." Instantly she flinched, wanting to take back those words. Stupid, now he'll think that it was a sign of affection that both of you shared. The deputy flattened his ears slightly. He spat vehemently, "Ah, going on a walk together and perhaps...trying to steal some time together? Can't you two just announce it already and stop the secrecy if it's that serious?" "That's not fair!" Applebreeze protested. She couldn't break her gaze away from Blackshadow, his eyes seemed to have a tenacious grip on her. "What's not fair?" he asked, "I'm only trying to be kind to you. I love you, remember? You said it back too! Have I walked off with another she-cat? No! You're the one having affairs with another tom without even saying a word to me." "Should I have told you?" Applebreeze demanded. She grimaced, realizing now that it definitely sounded like she and Ashflight were going out together now. "Look, Blackshadow-" "No," he interjected, "You look. You're the one making things complicated between us. I'm protecting you from something you don't know yet. I have to take risks to make sure you're safe. You on the other hand," he looked utterly disgusted, "You think you know everything about me, about the Clan, so you think I'm just using you to look loyal. Because of your judgment, you prance off with another handsome tom because you can't afford to wait for your first choice to tell you what's going on." His words dug into her heart. There was noticeable asperity in his voice when he said that. "You don't even know what's really going on between me and Ashflight!" Blackshadow shrugged, looking indifferent about it, "No? I think I do." With that, he turned and started to walk away. 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught. "If you're not going to listen to me," Applebreeze began, "Can you at least forget the situation?" The words stuck at her throat, but she forced them out anyways, "Please..." Blackshadow paused and turned around. The fire in his eyes instigated her to stand her ground. She wasn't at fault, it was him who had pushed her away, forced her into the position she was in now. He wasn't even trying to understand what she wanted to tell him. "Forget the situation?" he asked savagely, "As if, Applebreeze. How can I forget what you and he have just done? Do you think I'm a fool?" Applebreeze stepped forward against her will, "Blackshadow, please just hear me out then. I didn't intend to let Ashflight show his affection for me. I certainly don't feel anything towards him. I do think I know the truth though." "What?" "You and I both share a penchant for one another. We're just too ignorant to see that. Perhaps there are some things you need to explain to me, and there's some things I need to tell you," Applebreeze hesitated, "You could always tell me why you're always ignoring me and trying to pretend we didn't confess our love for one another." The deputy stared dolefully at her, "You want me to explain everything to you? I can't do that, Applebreeze, there are some things I need to constrain and keep a secret." Applebreeze shook her head sadly, "You used to imbue me with the desire to become one of the greatest warriors. You know why?" He didn't answer, but his eyes asked the question for him. "Because I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be your mate, be the cat who made you laugh. I wanted to be your light. When you told me you loved me, I was elated. It meant the world to me that you were mine. But then you started to drift away again, as if this love was just a stupid game. Do you have any idea how hurt I felt? Why do you think I started to find comfort in Ashflight?" Blackshadow let out a deep sigh, "No matter what you say, you won't convince me to tell you what's going on in my head. It's for your protection though, I swear." Applebreeze felt tears rush to her eyes, "Alright then, I guess this is all we're meant to be." Blackshadow narrowed his eyes, "Don't make me seem like the bane of our relationship. I didn't say we couldn't be together." "You're implying it." The black tom looked frustrated, "You simply don't understand, Applebreeze, and I can't tell you." "No," she agreed, "I don't understand." 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught." By the time she reached the mossy camp, her eyes stung with tears and she was barely standing. She had stumbled through the forest, blinking back tears. Wiping it away angrily with the back of her paw, Applebreeze curled up in her nest. "Applebreeze?" A quiet voice called to her. She looked up, "Willowfur?" Her best friend stared at her, "What happened?" Applebreeze sniffled and shook her head, "A lot happened, Willowfur. Blackshadow's been ignoring me and just right now he saw me and Ashflight together. He exploded and accused me of running off with another she-cat while he's the one not telling me why he's so distant." She let loose a tiny sob, "I can't stand it anymore." Willowfur embraced her, "It's okay," she murmured, "that tom has always been like that and you know it. Maybe he just doesn't know what to do." "Yeah, maybe," she murmured, though she didn't sound convinced. "It'll get better," Willowfur promised, "We'll just forget about this incident, okay? You'll see, he'll be your perfect tom when the plague clears up and we can go back to camp. Just awhile longer." Applebreeze nodded, "Okay." "You're a good she-cat, you're worth the time. Blackshadow's just busy and he's not used to love. Give him some time and you two can get together for real and have little Blackshadows and little Applebreezes." Willowfur purred. Applebreeze found herself purring too, "Yeah, nothing wrong has happened between us yet." "Everything's going to be okay." Applebreeze believed her. For the next few days, she tried to pretend that there had been no conflict. But with Ashflight constantly pressing on one side, and Blackshadow continuously ignoring her, Applebreeze began to lose hope. "What do I do?" She asked Willowfur hopelessly, "It's not like you and Foxfire, we didn't even last a day before this all fell apart." Willowfur reassured the orange she-cat, "Don't take it to your heart, Applebreeze, sooner or later he'll come to his senses and realize he's doing it all wrong." Applebreeze shaded her eyes, "If you knew anything about what he was hiding, you'd tell me, right Willowfur?" "Of course," the gray she-cat replied swiftly, though she thought differently. Applebreeze let out a sigh of relief, "At least you wouldn't lie to me. I wish I could just forget what happened, but what he said is like etched in my heart. And plus, how can I continue to say no to Ashflight when I have no other relations going on?" "You could just tell him that you don't like him in that way." "I don't want to sound rude!" Applebreeze protested, "He's so nice..." Willowfur shrugged, "I can do it for you. I don't mind walking up to that tom and say 'Hey, Applebreeze doesn't like you in that way so just back off'. It's quite easy." "For you," Applebreeze swished her tail, "But I can't let you do that." "Why not?" Applebreeze rolled her eyes, "It'll make it look as though I couldn't even bother to tell him my feelings! It's like I don't care enough. That'll just hurt him even more." Willowfur nudged Applebreeze, "Well, do what you want then." 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught. "Ashflight?" The gray tom turned to face her, hope lighting in his eyes, "Oh hey, Applebreeze! Do you want to join my border patrol? I'm sure Blackshadow won't mind." "Actually..." Applebreeze hesitated, "I just wanted to...give you my answer." Ashflight didn't look any more hopeful, but he waited patiently. Applebreeze closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Just get it over with, Applebreeze, it'll be easier between you and Blackshadow like this anyways. Isn't that what you wanted the most? So do it! Do it before you decide to back off. "I...I don't like you like - I mean like I don't love you - you're my friend and that's really all and-" Applebreeze found herself stuttering. "It's okay," Ashflight muttered, looking slightly hurt, "I always figured you and Blackshadow had something going. Guess that's what you two wanted to talk about that night." Applebreeze had to restrain herself from flinching. Just thinking about that night made her feel sick to her stomach. How could things ever go right again? "I'm sorry," she whispered, "but it's just the truth." "Thank you for telling me the truth instead of leading my into lies," Ashflight replied, though the sorrow hadn't faded from his eyes, "I'd rather face a true statement rather than live a happy life that's a lie." Same here. As Ashflight padded off to do his patrol, Applebreeze spotted Blackshadow. The black tom looked absolutely stunning in the sunlight, and she found herself holding her breath. He stood, regal, in the center of the clearing, giving out orders like a real leader. How could one small warrior like her ever make a difference in his life? Why would he have any need for her? What if her love life was a complete lie? Suddenly Applebreeze didn't want to know the truth. Blackshadow approached her after he was done with the patrols. But Applebreeze wasn't in the mood to consult with the deputy. "Excuse me," she mewed, scooting past him towards the den before Blackshadow could say a word, "Willowfur, Foxfire, and I wanted to go hunting." The deputy stared at her, "We already have enough hunting patrols out. I was thinking the four of us could sort out the dens with your apprentices and clean up this camp." "Alright," Applebreeze agreed, "That's okay with me." Blackshadow dipped his head, "I'll go wait up Willowfur and Foxfire. You go find the three apprentices. All three of them should be sleeping." "But Ashflight," Applebreeze nearly stumbled over the gray tom's name, "Isn't here to lead Littlepaw around for this." "I'm sure Willowfur and you can handle it," Blackshadow blinked, "Plus, Foxfire is an experienced mentor, as am I." Applebreeze hurriedly nodded and slipped towards the apprentices' den. She noticed that Blackshadow had been staying at the mossy camp for over a week now. Usually, after three days, he would disappear to visit the recovering plague cats. Guess they're recovering well since he has no need to check on them often now. "Stormpaw, Littlepaw, Berrypaw? We're going to clean out the camp and we need your assistance." 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught." "Okay, you guys clear the old bedding out of the den and I'll sort sorting the new ones into small piles so we can form them into nests," Applebreeze ordered to the three apprentices. She was in charge with Willowfur to have the apprentices clean out all the dens while Foxfire and Blackshadow cleared out loose rocks and stray brambles. The three apprentices scrambled about, fighting to be the one who cleared away the most bedding. "I'll win!" Stormpaw squealed. "No," Littlepaw argued, "I will!" Berrypaw rolled her eyes, "Yeah right, I'm the strongest!" "Just because you're a tom doesn't mean we can't beat you!" Stormpaw turned and battered Berrypaw with her paws, "I'll win for sure." Littlepaw didn't try to join the fight. Instead, she hurried to gather more moss as her siblings fought. Willowfur purred, "That one has the brains of Shadownose." "Yeah and Stormpaw has the fire from her father." "And Berrypaw just represents brute strength." Applebreeze felt a small pang of sadness when she was reminded that Stormpaw would never know her father, and she wouldn't know that she was half-Clan and that things were a lot harder for her siblings and her. "Break it up you two," Applebreeze laughed, trying to shake off the weariness she felt, "Littlepaw's carrying a lot more moss than you two have gathered combined." Stormpaw instantly jumped off her brother and went to tackle Littlepaw instead, sending moss flying everywhere. "Now I'll collect it all and win!" Stormpaw shouted, racing to gather the moss. Littlepaw leaped after her sister and the two went tumbling to the ground. Berrypaw took this opportunity to try to recollect everything and Willowfur let out a purr of amusement. "I don't think we were that lively when we were apprentices." "Certainly not about cleaning." Ten minutes later (with the apprentices completely covered in moss), they managed to clean out all the dens. "Let's get you cleaned up," Applebreeze frowned, "before your mother finds you like this and blames us for it." "It was our fault," Willowfur pointed out as she helped her apprentice clean off the moss, "I mean we were the ones who encouraged the competition." "And I won!" Stormpaw beamed. Littlepaw pouted, "No you didn't, you were one scrap less than me!" Stormpaw eyed her sister, "Oh really, I bet I could beat you to the spare moss and back!" The challenge in her eyes made Applebreeze purr. "You're on!" "Ready-" Willowfur began, but the two had already sped off, "Ah well, at least they're determined." The two managed to knock over the spare moss pile, trip over the brambles that Blackshadow and Foxfire were gathering, and tumble over the loose stones that was neatly stacked on the side before stopping before Applebreeze. "Who won?" Stormpaw demanded. Applebreeze was too busy laughing to reply. Willowfur frowned, "I'd say you both did, considering the mess you two made just to make it back." Blackshadow and Foxfire had prcieless expressions. "Willowfur!" Foxfire bellowed, "We spent ages picking that all up!" "Well," Willowfur smiled, licking her chest, "At least you had time to think over how much you love me before you decide to kill me." Foxfire sighed and began to help Blackshadow clean up the mess, "I'll never understand you." "That was fun," Applebreeze grinned, "I think the apprentices enjoyed that too. Good thing most of the cats were out of the camp though, or else that would have been a disaster." "Then Foxfire really would have had time to think over our love," Willowfur snorted, "Though he'll grow old before he admits that he loves me." "You mean officially?" "No, Applebreeze, I meant unofficially." "I'll never know for sure with you," Applebreeze pointed out, "You with your sarcasm." "You peasants fail to understand where all my knowledge and sharp tongue comes from. I need to give you lessons, kit." Willowfur smirked. "As if," Applebreeze shoved her friend playfully, "You could only teach me how to catch a flea." Willowfur pretended to look offended, "That's not nice at all, Applebreeze, a good warrior tells her friend positive things. Though," she purred, "you're learning." Applebreeze rolled her eyes, "I'll take that as an insult." "Why?" "Because learning how to be Willowfur will never help you in life. All it'll do is get you a boyfriend who won't ever admit his love for you." "I was kidding about that, Applebreeze! He already confessed his undying love for me. It was hilarious. He was lying down and pretended that he was dying and that even when he died he'd still love me. I told him he was trying too hard and helped him up. Then I pushed him back and told him I loved him too." Willowfur smiled. Applebreeze blinked, "I definitely don't want to learn how to be you anymore." "That's not a nice thing to say, Applebreeze." "Whatever."
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