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:Indiana Jones: Snakes...why did it have to be snakes?
:Snake: Elderly potheads...why did it have to be elderly potheads.
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:[Brian vomits on the carpet]
:Peter: Oh Lois, your dog threw up.
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:Neil Goldman: Hey Chris, I noticed you were sitting alone. Mind if I join you.
:Chris: Sure, we both have hats, makes sense.
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:Peter: Alright Brian, it's time for you to take one of these pills from the vet.
:Brian: Uh yeah, right. Can we do what we normally where we roll it up in a piece of cheese like you're fooling me?
:Peter: Yeah, I guess. But then you're going to have cheese in your ass.
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:Brian: Peter, get away from my ass!
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:Meg: Look, I'd love to stay and talk Neil, but I have homework and there was no toilet paper in the girls bathroom.
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:[As a child cranks his "Pete in the Box", "Pop Goes the Weasel" plays until Peter springs out and falls on the child]
:Peter: [inhaling loudly] ...GOES THE WEASEL!
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:Principal Shepherd: [looking buff as he directs kids through the school hallway] Move along, gotta keep the hallway clear. This isn't because of my divorce.
:Chris: Good for him, he actually followed through.
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:Meg: Thanks for doing my book report Neil. AND I didn't even have to change the handwriting because you write like a girl.
:Neil: You should see me throw.
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:Chris: You know, If I didn't know better I'd think that FISH ARE GHOSTS and I'd also think that you're putting the moves on Meg.
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:[Brian refers to Stewie as "master"]
:Stewie: Master? AND a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie.
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:[Brian finished tying Peter's bow tie]
:Peter: Thanks, Brian. I love the new you. That obedience school really schooled you in obedience.
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:[Meg is at the theater with Neil]
:Meg: You know, this is nice. It's actually the first time I've been on a date since I got the nickname "gutter ball."
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:[Dr. Hartman is at the theater with his dad and Seamus]
:Dr. Hartman: [irritated] Ok dad, you got us in, now just go.
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:[Cleveland looks around at the Drunken Clam in a frightened manner]
:Quagmire: Cleveland, what are you looking at?
:Cleveland: I'm on edge. Saw Halloween II last night.
:Peter: Brian, go outside. Keep guard for Michael Myers.
:Cleveland: If he seem like he dead, he ain't dead.
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:[Peter heaves rocks at Cleveland's door]
:Peter: This is b...'cause I'm drunk.
:Cleveland: [from inside] Move out, Irish trash.
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:[Peter is concerned about Brian's docility]
:Lois: I think that we just have to accept that this is how he is now. Don't forget he bit you, Peter. I mean, what if he bit Stewie?
:Stewie: [calling from his bedroom] Why don't you bite me, bitch.
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:[Stewie later considers his words]
:Stewie: [from his bedroom] I'm sorry, was that too harsh? It sounded more playful in my head.
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:[After bonding with Brian again]
:Peter: And now I'm gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.
:Brian: NO...We're going to go pee in Meg's bed.
:Peter: Good boy.
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