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| - This Church scares the crap out of all real Americans. Somehow not only is George Bush a member of this Church but so is Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards But wait it gets worse. Not only has Bill Clinton been seen attending it* but so has Dick Cheney. A couple of founding fathers were members so it must be good but WTF????? so are thousands of Anti-War activists?????????
- Walter Whitefield was probably the most famous religious figure of the 18th century, responsible for 18,000 batches of sermons of Crystal Methodism and getting 10 million hooked on Jesus during a period known as the great awakening, so named because everyone was tweaking out on God and couldn't sleep. Mr. White was an overworked teacher at Oxford, teaching students, helping them bathe, take out their garbage, carry their books and even writing their assignments. But than he got cancer and his insurance couldn't cover it and looking for the Philosopher's Stone as a cure. There he met the Wesley brothers John and Charles, street preachers who had found a much easier way to make money than turning lead into gold.
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| abstract
| - Walter Whitefield was probably the most famous religious figure of the 18th century, responsible for 18,000 batches of sermons of Crystal Methodism and getting 10 million hooked on Jesus during a period known as the great awakening, so named because everyone was tweaking out on God and couldn't sleep. Mr. White was an overworked teacher at Oxford, teaching students, helping them bathe, take out their garbage, carry their books and even writing their assignments. But than he got cancer and his insurance couldn't cover it and looking for the Philosopher's Stone as a cure. There he met the Wesley brothers John and Charles, street preachers who had found a much easier way to make money than turning lead into gold. Mr. White started in his home town of Gloucester after the brothers went down to Georgia looking for some souls to steal. He soon followed them and realized they would need more hands and a better cover for their cooks, so he set about constructing an orphanage. Whitefield went back to England and struck gold with the miners of Kingswood, earning enough to build Bethesda, the oldest front for a meth lab in North America. White, like Alcoholics Anonymous preached that their was a higher power and that he was the author of all evils, whom decides how easily you get addicted to total depravity and relapse into original sin. He quickly became the first international celebrity, selling his poison where ever he went. White dealt drugs nearly every day for months to large crowds of sometimes several thousand people as he traveled throughout the colonies, especially New England. His journey on horseback from New York City to Charleston was the longest then undertaken; they never caught him because he used the horse as a drug mule, and no one in their right mind wants to give a horse a cavity search without a cart full of tranquilizers. He included slaves in his revivals, because everyone should be free to help him build his drug empire. Benjamin Franklin (Ben Frank) even attended one of Whites meetings in Philadelphia Pennsylvania, computing he could be heard by over thirty thousand people in the open air; and introducing him and Wesley brothers to the modern miracles of medical electrocution. Franklin had been researching the works of Joseph Conrad Dippel in an attempt to find a way to live forever, and needed some legal defense after the police found all the slave skeletons in his basement.
- This Church scares the crap out of all real Americans. Somehow not only is George Bush a member of this Church but so is Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards But wait it gets worse. Not only has Bill Clinton been seen attending it* but so has Dick Cheney. A couple of founding fathers were members so it must be good but WTF????? so are thousands of Anti-War activists?????????
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