About: Superman (New Earth)   Sponge Permalink

An Entity of Type : dbkwik:resource/fTd4Std5AiaWC9MxmY1UsA==, within Data Space : 134.155.108.49:8890 associated with source dataset(s)

Superman is the original gangsta. He can beat anybody up, ever, except for the Hulk who is green, just like kryptonite.....or something. He was beating people up dressed in spandex while your grandpa was still in diapers. And anybody who says different is selling something. Communist. You think the Communist party is all but dead? This is just the beginning.

AttributesValues
rdf:type
rdfs:label
  • Superman (New Earth)
rdfs:comment
  • Superman is the original gangsta. He can beat anybody up, ever, except for the Hulk who is green, just like kryptonite.....or something. He was beating people up dressed in spandex while your grandpa was still in diapers. And anybody who says different is selling something. Communist. You think the Communist party is all but dead? This is just the beginning.
dcterms:subject
dbkwik:whysoseriou...iPageUsesTemplate
Eyes
  • So blue you could just fall right into them
Affiliation
Hair
  • Spit-curled black
Name
  • Superman
Allies
Species
  • Kryptonian Commie
Homeworld
Gender
  • Male
Death
  • Disturbingly frequently
Birth
  • Last son of a doomed planet
abstract
  • Superman is the original gangsta. He can beat anybody up, ever, except for the Hulk who is green, just like kryptonite.....or something. He was beating people up dressed in spandex while your grandpa was still in diapers. And anybody who says different is selling something. Believing that his planet was about to explode, negligent parent Jor-El blasted his infant child Kal-El into space with a rocket. And without even giving him a sword. The baby landed in Smallville, Kansas where he met a young infertile couple that at this point in their lives were apparently ready to try anything. They named him Clark Kent. Growing up, Clark found himself with special powers and realized it was his responsibility to save the world, the only practical way someone able to move planets could... by solving petty crimes one at a time in a ridiculous outfit. He journeyed to Metropolis, and became a reporter for the Daily Planet, surrounding himself with journalists as what was clearly a cry for help. Calling himself Superman, he became the world's greatest hero... Man of Steel, Pimp from the Stars, Intergalactic Pick-Up Artist. Communist. He'd like you to believe all this, that he was the last son of Krypton, a purely democratic planet a lot like his adopted America. In actually, he is the biggest cover up on the planet. Superman is a Commie spy in the United States, one with direct access to the White House. Clark Kent is a man with the power to move a planet, who worships the dictator Josef Stalin. You think the Communist party is all but dead? This is just the beginning.
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