The magic headband is an ancient and sacred peace of cloth that was not passed down through many generations. Instead, it was passed down through one generation. The Almighty Coach Unphoenitical discovered the magic headband in an exciting and death defying raid through an old box in the locker room. Upon obtaining the magic headband he relinquished it to a young runner named Sheepdog whose hair would always get in his face. This would cause him to run into things like benches, twenty liter chocolate fountains, and copious amounts of undersea badger-eagles. Sheepdog decided to wear a wooly booly hat which was fine in the winter but when it got warmer he got so hot that he began to be unable to distinguish between orangutans picking their belly buttons and not-orangutans picking their belly
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