The great Greek writer Idiocrates wrote that monk seals were so common around Greece that their noisy partying kept the peasants awake until the wee hours of the morning. The pre-Christian Greeks called the seals "Sons of Dionysus" and were much afflicted by the seals' pilfering of wine, sardines, and marijuana from their markets. However, the hard-partying "Sons of Dionysus" changed their ways rapidly after 1050 AD. Around that time the seals became captivated by the newly-established Christian monastic orders and -- a few at first and then in a wet landslide -- they became monks.
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