| abstract
| - Dr. Gero would often refer to himself as a pragmatist, someone who regarded logic, reason, and the pursuit of science above all other things. Actions speak louder than words, of course, and his actions seemed to support this as well, through his callous disregard for human life, and minimal interaction with other people. Even into his old age, he had no friends, no wife, and no children, not anymore, unless, of course, horrific abominations of science could be considered children. And so, the steely Doctor transferring his mind into an actual robot didn't seem like much of a stretch, to himself or anyone else. He would become his own creation, the 20th android he had made. The 19th was currently present in a somewhat incomplete state. Although the technology behind 19 was nearly complete, he didn't look finished, present as a skeletal blob of wires, metal, circuits, and spinning mechanical parts that produced a whirring sound just loud enough make Gero twitch and grumble throughout his work. The one lone passion Gero had outside of science, the one emotional vice he let himself indulge in, was art. He always felt an obsessive need to make his creations aesthetically complete as well as technologically sound, and Android 19's nudity felt like a constant scratching on the back of his brain, along with that accursed whirring sound. But, inspiration had not struck him, and he felt that his weapons of war should be as beautiful as they are efficient in battle, like the designs warriors would engrave into their shields. But, it would be better to leave Android 19 uncovered than to leave his appearance uninspired. Regardless, none of this mattered to Gero, as his 19th creation took a back seat to his 20th. Android 20 was a perfect replication of the Doctor, except for, perhaps, a rather generous overestimation of his height. The only thing left to his creation was his own brain, which 19 would remove and place inside the glass dome on his Android's head. "19, begin the process" he said, immediately gulping down a pill that would render him unconscious until it was complete, not taking any time to savor his last moments of humanity. Gero awoke in his new body, although, he didn't feel completely awake. What he was feeling was best compared to a false awakening, when you "wake up" in a dream, but aren't fully awake. His eyes were open, he could see and hear his surroundings, and yet, he didn't feel like he was there. He considered, for a few moments, that he had died during this process, and that this is what being a ghost felt like, but the rational side of his brain quickly banished this thought from his mind. It didn't take him long to realize why he felt so detached: physically, he could no longer feel anything. He had completely lost the sensation of touch. This wasn't accidental, he had deliberately designed his android body without nerves, as physical sensation meant nothing to the cold, logic-driven doctor. And yet, if he had been truly rational, he would have realized all of the downsides that would come without the sensation of touch. He tried to move, but without feeling to give him a sense of where his legs were, he stumbled, tripping and falling over a table cluttered with papers. His notes and designs went flying, and with his advanced, genius brain, he was able to visualize in a single instant all the time he spent organizing those papers, and how long it would take to get them back into their proper order. It felt as though someone had driven a nail right into the base of his skull. Or rather, what that would have felt like before his transformation. Gero tried to lift himself up, arms wobbling as he lost his grip and fell back down to the floor of his lab. "Dammit, how could I be so arrogant" he muttered. "19! Help me up!" he commanded, and his loyal android sprung into action, lifting Gero to his feet, his hands still covered in blood from the doctor's surgery. "And wash your hands off" he snarled, 19's dirty hands merely another scratch to add to the list of little imperfections currently nagging at the doctor's brain. But all those little things couldn't hope to match the massive, gnarling buzz in the doctor's mind, as the existential horror of his current situation began to dawn on him. Desperately, he clawed at his face, searching for some sign that he still had a body. Although Gero wasn't a ghost, he certainly felt like one, a weightless, formless spirit without a body, nothing anchoring him to this word, no relation between what he did and what he felt. His motions began to grow childlike, as he continued to loose his grip on his surroundings, playfully pawing at everything around him, carelessly knocking over test tubes and pencils from his desks. And he felt none of it, still a shifting, formless being, floating, suspended, unfeeling. And suddenly, feeling dawned on him, all at once. Not true feeling, as his sensations had no relation to what he was touching. It was a phantom sensation, that spread through his whole body, an artifice of feeling. It could best be described as being to touch as a swarm of bees buzzing is to sound. A rough, ceaseless, tingling vibration. Time became meaningless, as the doctor watched years of his life flash through his mind in an instant and frozen frames of the recent past stayed imprinted on the surface of his brain for what felt like weeks. Somewhere, in that dizzying storm of thought, he caught a glimpse of a doll he had taken from an enemy base years ago, something that he kept as a trophy and could never quite remember why, although he could never justify throwing it out either. And days later, a larger version of the doll appeared before Gero, in the form of Android 19's final design. Gero didn't remember creating the Android's outer shell, and in reality, he hadn't. The doctor had seen the doll, and tried to model 19's final design after it, but only ended up hammering metal plates on it, and loosely painting and dressing it to resemble the doll. 19 sensed his intent, and completed his work, turning himself into a less sloppy and incoherent representation of the doll. "Oh, 19" he said, slurring like a drunk, being unable to feel his lips, or the vibration of speech in his throat. "I thought removing my ability to feel would be the final step to making myself a completely logical being, to remove all sensuous desires from my life! But my intent was wrong, 19. My emotions drove me to arrogance, to wanting to appear practical and calculating instead of being so! Oh 19, what a fool I was, to think I wasn't flesh like the rest of them! I need to feel, 19! Oh, you wonderful marshmallow, you! If only I could feel, I could give you a big squeeze! Imagine how soft you must be!" The Doctor raised his head into the air, chuckling wildly. "Doctor, I am concerned for your mental health" 19 said. "Oh, don't worry about me! I know what's wrong! I didn't take the time to appreciate being able to feel while I could! I needed to touch something one last time, a farewell to flesh!" And so, to get his one last touch, the Doctor reached for the last part of his body that was still organic, his brain. Clumsily, he smashed open the dome containing his brain, and ran his fingers through it, using the same motion one would to brush their hair. Doctor Gero remained unconscious for a month. 19 stayed by his side the whole time, using the incredible technology in his lab to keep the Doctor alive. Android 19 was designed to obey Gero's every command, and his demand for a "farewell to flesh" still bounced around in his mind. Using Gero's technology to attach Gero's brain to Android 17's, an android that still had the ability to feel, he was able to project a single sensation into Gero's unconscious brain. And so, he chose something appropriate. The last thing Gero would ever feel was his hand plunging through Goku's skull and shattering it. The Doctor awoke with a smile.
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