:Roger: Perfect!
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:[Roger is accidentally stabbed in the hand by Stan with the sacred daggers]
:Roger: Ahh!! You dumb son of a...! No wait, that's not who Roland is... [cheerfully] Hey! You're doing great!
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:Hayley: [crying] You're my baby... You're my baby and I love you so much! Oh God!
:Stan: Who's that?
:Francine: We're grandparents!
:Stan: Steve was raped by a confused lesbian?
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:Pope: Are you seeing this shit?
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:Steve: [possessed] Mene Mene Takel, Satana Satana.
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:Roger: That punch, that punch right there, that's the punch where everything went black, and I was finally able to achieve orgasm.
:Steve: Oh...
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:Stan: You mean change religion?
:Francine: Sure. Muhammad Ali changed religions and became Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
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:Nemo: I'll see you again Stan Smith, when the Rapture comes! [laughs maniacally, then starts twisting his head 360 degrees and speaking in reverse]
:Narrator: Baby Anti-Christ says: "Blessings to you and all, on this most joyous of holiday seasons."