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| - For many decades the Jews have been known to be an endangered species. Pogroms, mass deportations, forced conversions, tortures and massive amounts of Gefilteh Fish kept the Jewish head down under humanity's radar. Generation after generation of Jews lived their small and unobtrusive lives without proper leadership or guidance, thus creating an enormous vacuum in the heart of the Jewish culture. As early as 1967, Rabbi Memelstein hooked up with Yakov Abuhatzera (aka "The Yad") and formed the first known cell of the Kosher Nostra, the "Jersey Mohels". But soon, events turned sour.
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| abstract
| - For many decades the Jews have been known to be an endangered species. Pogroms, mass deportations, forced conversions, tortures and massive amounts of Gefilteh Fish kept the Jewish head down under humanity's radar. Generation after generation of Jews lived their small and unobtrusive lives without proper leadership or guidance, thus creating an enormous vacuum in the heart of the Jewish culture. And, as is the case with vacuums, something had to fill this enormous gape in reality. Into this vacuum came the mysterious and violent organization known as the Kosher Nostra. The height of organized crime. Jewish style. It was the infamous Rabbi Baruch Mermelstein, ominously nicknamed "The Circumciser", who was, allegedly, the founder and the first "g_d father" of the Kosher Nostra. Rabbi Mermelstein, a highly intelligent scholar, saw the great potential in the uncharted lands of corruption within the closed Jewish communities and decided to take the structure and the methods of the Italian organized crime outfits to new heights of terror. As early as 1967, Rabbi Memelstein hooked up with Yakov Abuhatzera (aka "The Yad") and formed the first known cell of the Kosher Nostra, the "Jersey Mohels". The Mohels began with the basics of all criminal organizations - pimping shiksas, providing "protection" to synagogues and hamin moon-shining. But soon, events turned sour. The Kosher Nostra, coincidently stumbled upon the turf of the New York crime group the "Hasids", a group specializing in burning down non-kosher food parlors and taking over the prayer shawls market. This unlucky turn of events let to the event later known as "The Night of Tall Shtrimels" The Night of tall Shtrimels began with Rabbi Memelstein's personal guard, the "Yeshiva Boys" breaking into the home of the "Hasids" consigliere, Moishe "The Koogelager" Levy. The Yeshiva Boys dragged the frightened counsellor out of his bed, beating him senseless with prayer shawls drenched with horseradish. The counsellor's wife was then forced to call the Hasid's leader, Rabbi Zeèv "Mazel Tov" Rubinstein begging him to meet her for a "special financial opportunity" on one of the Hudson's less populated docks. It was there that Rabbi Rubinstein met his destiny, and went sleeping with the Gefilte Fisch. All over Manhattan, the Hasids' lieutenants were taken out of the game by so-called "forces of nature" and in "freak accidents" - drowned in Cholent pots, botched circumcisions, hanged from their own Tefillin, exploding Mezuzahs, acid laden yamulkas. And it was from that night that the most dangerous crime organization, lead by Rabbi Mermelstein, rose again as the dominant crime family in the TriState area.
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