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Focus on the Family was founded by the puppy-raping warlord James Dobson in 1942 after Dobson's unsuccessful bid for the presidency of Uruguay. Initially comprised of Peruvian peasants and some revolutionaries from Bermuda, it developed into a highly-disciplined fighting force with significant financial backing. Just because Heather has two Mommies, that doesn't mean Mr. Dobson wants a hundred photos of them, of which 99 are out-of-focus. Every attempt at a peaceful solution having ended in utter and abject failure, Dobson in sheer and utter desperation turned to the military option.

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  • Focus on the Family
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  • Focus on the Family was founded by the puppy-raping warlord James Dobson in 1942 after Dobson's unsuccessful bid for the presidency of Uruguay. Initially comprised of Peruvian peasants and some revolutionaries from Bermuda, it developed into a highly-disciplined fighting force with significant financial backing. Just because Heather has two Mommies, that doesn't mean Mr. Dobson wants a hundred photos of them, of which 99 are out-of-focus. Every attempt at a peaceful solution having ended in utter and abject failure, Dobson in sheer and utter desperation turned to the military option.
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  • Focus on the Family was founded by the puppy-raping warlord James Dobson in 1942 after Dobson's unsuccessful bid for the presidency of Uruguay. Initially comprised of Peruvian peasants and some revolutionaries from Bermuda, it developed into a highly-disciplined fighting force with significant financial backing. Dobson's hatred for families goes back to 1890, when he was a humble apprentice under the two balding Kodak brothers, George Kodak and Eastman Kodak of Rochester NY. He was forced to watch helplessly as otherwise-normal adults, upon the production of their first li'l "accident", suddenly lapsed from producing beautiful images of art, history, landscape and architecture downward to producing decades worth of over-exposed, blurred, poorly-composed out-of-focus "family photos". Just because Heather has two Mommies, that doesn't mean Mr. Dobson wants a hundred photos of them, of which 99 are out-of-focus. The first attempt at damage control involved the construction of a series of re-education camps, known to the Holy See as "retreats" and "focus groups", at which the offending parents could be involuntarily removed from their hellion offspring and forcibly re-educated in the art of camera-handling. When these early "Focus on the Family" re-education camps failed to teach the li'l runts how to aim and focus a camera, Dobson frantically attempted to convince the owners of local chemist's shops (who were all too familiar with the looming photographic disaster) to remove their soda fountains (as the sticky sweets were attracting the li'l brats) and start selling condoms in order to prevent any more "li'l accidents." Naturally, virtually every pharmacist complied (the one exception: Howard Johnson in sheer frustration instead closed his drugstore and became a hotel, eventually eloping with Paris Hilton). The effort was nonetheless a failure. The quality of amateur snapshot photography had sunk to its lowest level since Louis XVI sent in the hundreds of family photos with his wife's head missing - and at least he had an excuse, that of not being able to see the composed image after having lost his own head to «madame Guillotine». Every attempt at a peaceful solution having ended in utter and abject failure, Dobson in sheer and utter desperation turned to the military option.
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