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| - MM Host: Spelldrives. (Spelldrive on the view screen opens up) Mysterious, magical tomes for storing spells. Powered by magical power points, they were once used to cast the spells contained within. The largest collection of these ancient sources of mystical knowledge belongs to the boy with the largest head: Dib. Dib: My spelldrives are all drained of their power, but I still think they're neat. MM Host (OS): That's very interesting, Dib, but can you tell us more about your head? Dib (voice sped up): As you know, each spell takes up a certain number of power points. I found — MM Host: Your head, Dib! MM Host: Your HEAD! Gaz: Hey! Did you eat all the Franken Chokies? Dib: You just missed it! I was on Mysterious Mysteries with my spelldrives! Dib: I remember the magical day I found these old things. It was incredible. Dib: Hey! This drive still has two unused power points! How did I miss that? Me, the obsessive-compulsive Dib! Gaz: Uuuh. Dib: What spell should I (coughs) cast? Dib: Hmm, no. Not enough points. Hmph, too bad. A smaller head would be cool. Dib: Found one! The Sense of the Shadowhog! Uses 1 power point. Dib: Point enhances the sense of- Dib: Hmm. Can't read it. But it sounds cool. Enhance something IS good! But what if it doesn't work the way I hope it does? I HAVE A PLAN! Since I have two points, and the spell only takes one, I can just use it twice! I'll just cast it on someone else first! Then, and only then, will I stop talking to myself! Dib: Activating spelldrive! Dib: Uuuuh! The smell! Energy pig: Are you prepared to receive the power of the Shadowhog? Dib: Ugh, not me. Ugh, but my sister really wants it. Gaz: Who? What? Hey! If there's one thing you should know by now, it's to stay OUT OF MY ROOM! Dib: Do you feel different in any way? Gaz: GET OUT! Dib: X-ray vision maybe? Super smell? Gaz: That's it, Dib. SECURITY! Dib: You sure you're not feeling super somehow? Gaz: I have a super horrible taste in my mouth! Dib: Oh my, no! Dib: Father, help me! Dib: How are you feeling today, Gaz? Dib: What is it? Is there some kind of extra-awareness that you are experiencing? Gaz: This cereal tastes horrible! Dib: Tastes fine to me! Dib: It's not spoiled! It's fine! Gaz: Where's Dad shopping now? This is all horrible! HORRIBLE! Dib: Horrible how? Gaz: Everything tastes like a pig! A PIG! Dib: The Shadowhog! What could've gone wrong? What? Gaz: Shadow-what? What did you do? Dib: I don't know what you're talking about. Dib: My haunted gummy bear collection! Gaz: Tell me what you did, or I'll eat them Dib! I'll eat them all! Dib: No! I only did it to give you super powers because you're the greatest sister ever! Dib: Stop! Maybe I can reverse the spell! Dib: Um... the only spell I can cast is the same one I used on you already! Um... (hits a key) you know... Pig is a reaally good taste! Gaz: SECURITY! Dib: Not the dolls! Nooo! Gaz: I programmed them to feed on human flesh! (smiles evilly) Dib: But you need me! You need my knowledge of the paranormal! You can't lift this spell off on your own! Gaz: You better lift it soon, or... Dib: All right! All right! Just don't worry. I'll cure you. 'Til then, just go about your day, okay? Just be normal! Mr. Elliot: And that, class, is why I'm so happy today! Innit that great? Huh? Mr. Elliot: Yeah! Mr. Elliot: Um, Gaz? You can't eat in class. Gaz: Have to eat! Must find something that doesn't taste like pig intestine! Gaz: Curse you, Dib! Curse you! Gaz: Curse you! Curse you! Gaz: Hey. This tastes okay. But it's a hotdog, so that makes sense. A lifetime of eating nothing but hotdogs... Gaz (VO): Everyday, hotdogs! My whole life! Dib: No, Gaz! Those are the mashed potatoes! Get them away from my eyes! Remember what happened to Zita! Dib: I was only trying to help you out, Gaz! Gaz: You're hiding something! What is it? Dib: Me? Hiding? I was only trying to do something nice for my sister! No! Not my eyes! Think of all the food you'll never eat again if you destroy me now! Dib: Zita! Dib: Dad! Gaz has been cursed and tastes pigs! Prof. Membrane: There are no curses, son! Prof. Membrane: There must be a scientific explanation! Come on, honey! Are you ready for some horrible tests? Gaz: I... guess so. Dib: I knew I could count on Dad to not believe me. Dib: He'll keep Gaz busy until I can find a cure. Now I'm gonna start walking! Agent Tuna Ghost: Agent Mothman, why were you talking out loud to yourself just then? Dib: I don't know... But I do that a lot. Agent Tuna Ghost: That's stupid. Dib: Isn't it? Dib: Anyhow, Agent Tuna Ghost, I want you to do some research for me. Prof. Membrane: People of the press! I have examined my daughter for hours now and have made a discovery! She suffers from a never before seen condition I have named "Pigmouth!" Prof. Membrane: It has been 1 day already, and the cure for Pigmouth still eludes me! Prof. Membrane: This enviro-suit is not enough to protect my daughter, so I have added a new wing to the Membrane Labs! The Pig Girl wing! Crowd: Ooooooh! Prof. Membrane: Co-sponsored by the Deelishus Weenie corporation! GIR: Yaaay! Gaz: You will pay, Dib! You will pay! Zim: That's a good one! Help you?! Why should I help you? Dib: Hey! I helped you when we were transforming into giant bolognies! Zim: YOU'RE MAKING IT UP! Dib: Look, it's my sister, she's — Zim: Forget it, Dib! Gnomes! Away with him! Zim: I'm going to destroy you all, Dib! Today! I've got it all set up. Dib: Uh huh, that's nice, Zim. It can't be worse than what my sister's gonna do. Zim: I've loaded GIR full of explosive monkeys and I'm about to — Dib: That's great, Zim! Maybe you can tell me about it later. I gotta go. GIR: I got monkeys in me! Zim: Fool! Be gone with yoooou! Gaz Pig Monster: I bet you taste like a pig! Just like a pig! A little piggy! Dib: Gaz, I — Gaz: Be quiet. Just look at the TV. Watch and know the evil you have brought upon me! Dib: Okay, but — Bloaty: Heeey! Look at Bloaty! Bloaty: We got the new pizza comin' out on Friday! And if you like the taste of stuff, you're gonna love this pizza! Bloaty: This pizza don't taste like pig at all! Bloaty: Bloaty hate his life... Gaz: I've never missed a new pizza day at Bloaty's. If this next one is ruined by your magical stupidity I would make you wish you had rabid weasels teleported into your skull instead of having a sister! Gaz: I'll wait until you sleep and stuff all of your paranormal junk into your big, giant, paranormal head (a ring of fire appears around Dib, Gaz's eyes turn red) and chew on your eyeballs after I pluck them out! Gaz (eating hotdog): Eenuh! Eenuh! Dib: And now she's gonna destroy my life if I can't figure out a way to lift the curse! But I don't know how! I am so dead! Hobo: Yeah, I remember when I summoned a hog demon to curse my sister with Pigmouth and had to deal with having a cursed sister. Hobo: It was awful! Hobo: The whole ordeal turned me into a hobo! Hobo: Word of advice. Dib: I don't wanna become a hobo. Hobo: Oh. Dib: The Swollen Eyeball signal! Dib: That's my secret society! Don't tell anyone! Agent Tuna Ghost: Agent Mothman! We've been discussing your situation. We think we can help. Gaz: Eenuh! Eenuh! Eenuh! Eenuh! Eenuh! Dib: Good news! I have something that can help you, maybe. I formed a plan using information I got from the Swollen Eyeball and a dirty hobo. But we'll have to make it out to Mystical Hill on the outskirts of town. Apparently that place is mystical. Gaz: So how do we get there? This isolation tank doesn't exactly have a doorknob. Dib: I can hack into the security system and set you free from this cage. Dib: But once I do, the guards will be after us. Gaz: Don't worry about the guards. I know my way around this place. Just break me out of this tank or I'll throw you out — Dib: Okay! I get the point. Dib: Woo! What an incredible and daring escape! That was amazing! Gaz: I liked the part where the giant robot squid launched missiles at us. Membrane Guard (V.O.): We're only tryin' to help ya, Pig Girl! Give yourself up! Come on, piggy! Dib: Science won't help you, Gaz. Gaz: Science won't replace your head after I tear it from your torso if you don't hurry! Dib: Right. Dib: I got this spelldrive from the Swollen Eyeball. If it works we can use it to travel to the realm of the very creature who gave you your weird pork powers! Membrane Guard (V.O.): There they are! Get 'em! Get 'em! Gaz: Do it already! Dib: Yeah! Okay! Activating spelldrive now! Membrane Guard: We're too late! They transformed into a book! I told 'em this would happeeeen! Dib: Wow! Look at all that pork! Gaz: I've seen more. Shadowhog: I am the Shadowhog! What is it that you want from me, child who conjured me and child who was blessed with pig senses? Dib: Um, Shadowpig... My sister doesn't want your curse anymore. Shadowhog: The most bless-ed of gifts you call a curse? You insult me! You said your sister really — Dib: Was a special, lovely person! Yes, yes, but we're in a bit of a hurry, we're — Shadowhog: Did you conjure up Big Head Demon to give you a big head? Man, that is a really big head! Dib: No, I didn't! It's this way on its own! Now can you help us or not!? Shadowhog: There is the terrible trial of the Shadowhog, but it is a foolish thing to attempt to give back such a wonderful gift. Even more foolish to think that you will pass the trial! Should you fail, little girl, you will suffer a fate worse than your worse nightmares! Gaz: There's no fate worse than this, except for the fate of my brother if this doesn't work. Dib: She's right, you know. Shadowhog: So, you agree to undertake... the trial? Gaz: Yeah. I guess so. Shadowhog: Then follow me into the sacred hall of the stinking piggy of stinking pigginess! Shadowhog: No! Only the Pig Girl may come inside. You must wait outside. Dib: But she's helpless without my knowledge of the supernatural! You can't do this! Dib: Wait! Dib: Let me through! That's my little sister in there! There's no way she can stand up to that giant pig thing, no offense. Dib: Hey look! There's something a pig thing would like! Shadowhog: Let the dreaded trial of the Shadowhog begin! Are you ready, child? Gaz: Sure. Why not? Shadowhog: Very well! (grunts) How tall am I? Gaz: I'm guessing about 8 feet, six inches. Shadowhog: I guess so. Next, what is the secret code for unlimited lives in Super Kicky Fighter? Gaz: Up up down down left right left right A B B A start. Shadowhog: Really? Cool. The trial is over! Yay for you! Gaz: Yeah, Zim's an alien but so what. He's too dumb to take over the Earth. Why should I have to listen to Dib's constant — Dib: Stoooop! Dib: She's just a little girl! It's not her fault she failed your test! Look! It's me you want! I cast the spell on her because I wanted to see what it would do before trying it on myself! She doesn't deserve to suffer your punishment! Shadowhog: Uuh, actually, she — Gaz: No. Let's hear him out. Dib: Mister Pig Monster, spare my sister and punish me instead! Punish me instead! Shadowhog: Ummm... Shadowhog: Okaaaay. Shadowhog: As punishment, you must clean my filthy toilet of filthy piggy filth! It's over there! Dib: That's it? That isn't so bad! Dib: No! Nooo! Oooh! Naaa! Oooh! Oh! Professor Membrane: Sorry about imprisoning you and turning you into a media freak, honey! It was in the name of science and... hey, where's your brother? Gaz: He's in a pig world netherworld cleaning out toilets with his head. Professor Membrane: You're my funny child! Dib (O.S.): I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
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