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| - :Joe: [after the Chumba Wumbas push his wheelchair out on the street] I'M GLAD I'M NOT TAKING YOUR STUPID TOUR! I'M A COORS MAN ANYWAY! SILVER BULLET!
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:Cleveland: Remember when you went on Password?
:[Cutaway to Peter on Password, partnered with Tony Randall]
:Announcer: [whispering] The password is... "flaming."
:Peter: You...
:Tony Randall: Actor.
:Peter: You...
:Tony Randall: Tony?
:Peter: You...
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:Jimmy: [Practicing his piano lessons with Lois]
:Stewie: Ugh, trying to watch the history channel here.
:Lois: Keep practicing Jimmy, I'll be right back.
:Stewie: Not talkin' to myself here
:Stewie: [Climbs down off couch and runs off screen. After we hear punching noises he runs back to the couch]
:Lois: OK, Jimmy... oh my God, what happened?
:Stewie: Yes Jimmie, what happened?
:Jimmy: Uh, uh... [glances back at Stewie]... I fell.
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:Pawtucket Pat: What the hell is this??! Didn't you read the sign!!?? [Points to a "Keep out Sign"] You have sullied my factory and disobeyed my rules!! Get out now!! I want you to leave immediately!!
:Peter: Ah come on!!! Uh don't...do I get a Chumba Wumba song at least?
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:[Knocking at the door and Lois is opening it, Peter is outside]
:Peter: Ah, Lois, thank God it's you. The last three houses I went to were very rude.
:Lois: Have you been drinking?
:Peter: Well, yes I have, thank you. I've gotta find one of these silver scrolls, everyone is looking for 'em.
:[Mayor West's office where he is interrogating a bottle of Pawtucket Patriot beer]
:Mayor Adam West: Alright, listen to me, you long-neck bastard. You give me the scroll and I'll make head of sanitation services for the entire city. It's a do-nothing-job sweet cake.
:[At a fraternity house]
:Death: Two more dead from alcohol poisoning. Hmm.. looking for that scroll ha? Wouldn't mind finding that thing myself.
:[He opens a beer with his eye holes and drinks it. He later stumbles out of the house to his his car]
:Death: Ah, ah geez. Oh man, hope I don't get pulled over. Okay, be cool maintain. [He fasten his seat belt, arrange the mirrors, chews a gum, makes a bubble and starts the engine]
:Death: Okay Death you can do this!
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:Gynecologist Dr. Fred Rubin: [to Lois regarding Alexis] Don't let her get to you. She asked for 'Pine Forest', I gave her 'New Car'.
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:[After a night of Peter practicing the piano he looses his booze]
:Lois: No, no, no. Play it like you did last night.
:Peter: I can't.
:Lois: Peter, talent doesn't disappear just like that.
:Peter: Well, sometimes it does, I mean you were pretty bad in bed Saturday night.
:[Peter in his bedroom under the blanket]
:Peter: Come on Lois, move or something. Geez, it's like doing it with a pillow.
:Lois: Peter, I stayed at my mother's that night.
:Peter: Oh.
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:Peter as a child: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
:Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.
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:Peter: Lois, everyone has their sanctuary. The Catholics have churches, fat people have Wisconsin, and I have the Pawtucket Brewery. Now help me drink these beers.
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:Peter: Lois, you don't get it. The lesson here is abusing alcohol has absolutely no negative consequences.
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