| abstract
| - The Cowboy Planet is right next to the Gangster Planet and the Nazi Planet. Cheyne would be still a sad sack of a barren wasteland were it not for Six Lasers. Trillions of credits and man hours have gone into terraforming this planet in order to provide a breathable atmosphere and capable of supporting life. The planet is largely flat, heavily reminiscent of Earth's old Wild West. Theme parks here promote the idea of Cheyne being on the wild frontier. You can catch a ride on the Bucking Broncho Coaster, grab a bite at the local Ig-Yac Burger Commander joint, or go rustling for space cattle. Saloons and old wooden buildings serve as the architectural motif. Visitors are encouraged to get into the spirit of the frontier. With all the credits Six Lasers sunk into Cheyne, it's little wonder that they've been able to make Cheyne look the way it does. In this case, thankfully, it's not a large ship like the previous evening -- no, this setting was one Impulse had chosen: a seeming old Wild West-era ghost town. Honestly, Impulse is concerned. He had a devil of a time trying to defeat Sideswipe the previous night, and still lose... to a game of chance, no less, in rock/paper/scissors. And even /that/ took several minutes to do. So while the older mech wants to try looking on the bright side of things, he doesn't feel nearly so confident. He's already managed to lose out on medals for two of the three events that he thought he had a chance at -- and he's still wondering about the wisdom of this battle. He waits for Sideswipe to arrive, as well as whoever is the referee. "Might as well get this over with," he mutters to himself. T-ching, t-ching, t-ching, t-ching, t-ching. The sound of spurrs can be heard over the low groan of wind and rustling ascenery, a stranger clad in a dusty, battered poncho and a tattered hat striding in to sight. His stride is slow and casual as he approaches the agreed upon area, head tilted forward to hide his identity.. Had he known that Redshift had done the exact same thing just moments ago he wouldn't be so tickled. A hand appears from beneath the poncho, black and gleaming as it reaches up to the hat's brim, pressing it up and revealing the expected visage of Sideswipe.. grinning like a fool. "Sorry I'm late." a horrible lie, "I had to stop by a gift shop! Look at all this stuff!" he exclaimed, whirling to show off poncho, heels adorned with magnalocked spurrs.. and opf course the hat.. He paid extra to get the ones that looked old and dirty. Where's the referee? Everywhere you look, you see only dilapidated buildings and dusty roads. Then... suddenly... a mound of what at first looked like sand... suddenly stands up. Remarkably, it's a person, wearing some sort of camoflauge suit that allows him to blend in perfectly with the surrounding terrain. He pulls off the suit's headpiece, and it's... OLD SNAKE (David Hayter) _________________ "There are no rules here, on the battlefield," he growls. "You win, you die, or you give up. Those are your options!" He glares sternly at both fighters. "Do you understand? Then FIGHT, fight for what you believe in!" Dramatic music rises up from... somewhere. Impulse shakes his head. "Not again," he mutters. "But hey... that's okay." He moves into position... and pretty much the moment the green light is given, Impulse suddenly has his blaster pistol in hand. "Draw," he says, even as he begins to move, firing a shot off at Sideswipe as he moves for the nearest building as cover... and, well, if some of his newly acquired Western garb gets holes in it... well, that's Sideswipe's own fault. Impulse strikes Sideswipe with Blaster Pistol << Low >>. On the word 'Draw' Sideswipe crouches slightly his hand flying beneath his poncho and producing a gleaming revolver. He pulls the trigger causing the hammer to draw back and the six-chamber to turn. The hammer falls and the gun issuses a quiet 'clack!' as the firing pin strikes nothing. "What?!" exclaims Sideswipe in disbelief, quickly looking over his newly bought weapon and discovering the reason. "Bullets sold seperately.." he reads aloud to himself. He's about top curse when the first pistol shot lands, burning a hole in his poncho. Two more follow befor Sideswipe is moving, dashing and diving behind a water trouth. "Lousy peice of.." he mutters as he casts gun and belt away, the poncho soon following. A moment later and Sideswipe reappeared, firing blindly in Impulse's general direction. Trusting lasers to eat through wood like.. lasers.. through wood. Sideswipe misses Impulse with his Lasers attack. Old Snake notices the revolver. "Hm?" Tapping his Solid Eye, he zooms in on it. "Hnnnh... a Single Action Army Revolver, scaled up to Transformer standards. I've been shot by one of those things before. Hurt like hell, and the wound never really healed up. Pretty personal weapon to take to the battlefield. But it won't do anything unless you hit with it." He then looks at Impulse's gun. "I guess the newer kinds of guns are a lot more accurate." A pair of shots burn holes through the corner of the building that Impulse was using as cover... and then in a blur of gold, black and red, he's off, zipping around for a new vantage point. Well, so far this is perhaps a /wee/ bit better than it began last night, but Impulse isn't taking chances, nor is he going to celebrate early. He's going to focus on this. And suddenly, the golden speedster zips past, aiming a quick punch at the back of Sideswipe's head as he breezes past! Impulse strikes Sideswipe with Punch. Impulse is on the move and Sideswipe just isn't taking his hand off of that trigger! It bucks in his hand, spitting out laserfire from his more trusty laser rifle. He can't seem to get a good bead though, Impulse whipping up behind and knocking him in the noggin. "Ow, hey!" he barks as he gets up from his cover, firing off twop more poorly aimed shots befor something forms from a socket in his shoulder.. his flare/missile launcher. Squinting, Sideswipe tries for a good lock, digging in his heels as the launcher mount swivels into position, it's projectile cast out in a high pitched whistle accompanied by a burst of crimson light.. This might not explode.. but boy was it hot! Sideswipe misses Impulse with his Magnesium Phosphorous Flare attack. Old Snake grunts, "Nice punch. That guy's pretty speedy, too. It would be pretty hard to take him down, in a one-on-one fight. Not that I haven't destroyed the occasional giant robot, myself, now and then." He watches as Sideswipe fires a flare at Impulse and remarks, "A flare gun? That's a weird choice of weapons. Otacon, would a flare gun work as a weapon in a combat situation?" "A flare of that size could do serious damage, Snake," Otacon replies over Codec. "Its extreme heat would burn right through almost any metal, and the flare would be virtually impossible to put out. But you're right, it is a strange choice of weapons!" "Hmmm," Snake muses. "Maybe this Sideswipe guy's kinda sadistic." Impulse's pistol disappears back into subspace, and Impulse zips into another alleyway -- none too soon, given the projectile slamming into the building. It catches on fire, and soon the building is a blazing inferno... not to be confused with the Autobot of the same name. But now, Impulse is intent on pressing his advantage, zipping back in again. His speed is of better benefit now, with far more room to maneuver. This time, however, it's one of those Crystalocution moves -- the open-palm strike, shooting out to smash into Sideswipe's shoulder -- the one with the mounted rocket launcher. Impulse strikes Sideswipe with Crystalocution Open Palm Strike. Sadistic..? Maybe just a little. Afterall, Sideswipe came to this stretch of wooden building line road with the direct idea of leveling the entire stretch! He grunts his displeasure over the miss.. fire is a good consolation prize however. Impulse has once more disappeared from sight, Sideswipe remains alert. It is too late to avoid the on coming attack when he hears the sound of a horned lizard yip out in pain from having it's tail crushed by the swift autobot, but not to late for a attempted payback. His launcher's swiveling motors are jammed and damaged.. but his arm, as Impulse could guess from the wide, clotheslining sweep of it, is working just fine. Sideswipe misses Impulse with his Low Bridge attack. Old Snake says, "Otacon, I don't recognize that fighting style. What is it?" "It's called Crystallocution," Otacon says. "It's designed to rapidly strike an enemy's weakpoints, such as his joints or small stress fractures in armor. Once perfected, a Cybertronian could use the technique to cripple foes much bigger and stronger than himself." "Hmm, maybe I should learn it," Snake says. "Wouldn't do you much good, Snake," Otacan says. "It's a robotic fighting style, used by and against robots. You'd just break your hand trying to punch one of these guys." "Hmmmm." Sheer velocity is the only thing that keeps Impulse out of reach of Sideswipe's clothesline sweep, and into another alleyway. And then he's back out again -- this time, though, it's a retractable wrist-mounted blaster that pops up as he snaps a quick shot at his fellow Autobot and opponent. Skirmisk tactics seem to be what's working now -- and given all that experience he has of it on Alteron, he's going to use it to his full advantage, even as he zips for another alleyway. Impulse strikes Sideswipe with Wrist-Mounted Blaster. "Alright, enough of that Mr. Runny McSneak!" barks Sideswipe as he is dealt another stinging zap. He scowls at the burnt armor and pats out the smoking area. Bending at the knees, Sideswipe leaps upwards, his jetpack firing him up into the air and over the low slung roofs of their battle grounds. "Now I've got you, Speedy!" calls out the gun toating Lambor as he tracks Impulse from the air. Leveling his rifle down upon his foe, Sideswipe's finger squeezes lovingly upon that trigger, setting the weapon to bucking fits of laser fire, peppering Impulse and everything within a good teen foot radius of him. Sideswipe misses Impulse with his A Lot Of Lasers attack. Blueshift has reconnected. "A rocket pack?" Snake says, staring up at Sideswipe. "Pretty neat. That could've come in handy on some of my missions." "Maybe," Otacon says, "but it's not very subtle. Using a rocketpack like that basically says to the whole battlefield, "Hey, here I am!" And you're likely to be slower than a jet, so you'll be an easier target, too." White-hot plasma slams into the alleyway behind him, and like he did with the magnesium flare, Impulse can feel the heat emanating from the blasts. And yet somehow... someway... he emerges unscathed. The wrist-mounted blaster retracts back into his wrist, and his pistol comes back out again. Then he zips past once more, firing a series of blasts at Sideswipe in an attempt to press his advantage. Impulse strikes Sideswipe with Blaster Pistol << High >>. Another painful blast sends Sideswipe jerking into a decent, "Alright, no more mister nice Lambor!" he barks as he regains control of his own flight systems, kicking himself into pursuit of Impulse, diving right at the quickling with fists held out like battering rams. Sideswipe misses Impulse with his Now you've gone and done it attack. Old Snake coughs a bit, and pats his back. "Dammit, acting up again..." Blueshift has partially disconnected. Impulse turns, seeing Sideswipe coming at him, and tries something different. One hand grabs at the arm before it can strike, and he lets you bowl him over -- but the retractable blade *snikts* out, and he jams it upwards into Sideswipe as he lets his opponent's momentum carry him over onto the ground. But as he rolls up again and regains his feet, he finds himself with his back to Sideswipe... not a good position to be in. Impulse strikes Sideswipe with Retractable Blade Swipe. Blueshift has disconnected. Sunder has arrived. Old Snake pulls out a cigarrette, and lights it. He watches the fight continue, muttering, "Won't be long now. Sideswipe's probably too badly hurt from all the hits he's taken." Not a good position at all. Sideswipe lets out a pained yelp as he is sent tumbling, a hand slapping over the wound once the blade slides free. "Hate that thing.." he muttered as he quickly got to his feet, a quick looking about showing him very close to a saloon porch. One sound of a wooden piller being torn from it's mounting later and Sideswipe is back on the attack, swinging that porch post like nobodies buisness. Sideswipe strikes Impulse with Beat Stick. Sunder arrives, lured by the tasty smell of charcoal-grilled (or whatever Unicronforsaken fuel they use for cooking on this planet) flesh. An Igyak Burger joint appears to be the source of the odors, and the Sweep enters, intent on feasting. In spirit, he will be eating the Igyak who threw him in the second round. Realistically, he'll probably be dining on the Igyak that he stayed on for 16 rounds. Rode the poor beast to death, practically, he did. Too late, Impulse starts to turn, only to catch the brunt of a pillar before it breaks off against him. He transforms, speeding off, though a retractable blaster moves up, firing back at Sideswipe as he gives himself some room again. This... this is surprising, to say the least. But he can't lose focus now. A flurry of shifting, twisting and contorting ensues as Impulse transforms into the sleek, streamlined form of a gold hovercar. Old Snake smokes his cigarette, and growls, "Maybe I spoke too soon. The red kid's a little sloppy, but he makes up for it with lots of heart. Reminds me of myself back when I first joined Foxhound." Got you now!" called out Sideswipe as he tossed aside the broken instrument of bludgeoning, taking flight once more after a few steps in pursuit, Impulse's blaster fire streaking by below even as Sideswipe himself opened fire with another sudden barrage of laser fire, hoping to take advantage of the classicly thinner armor of Autobot vehicle modes. Sideswipe strikes Gold and Black Hovercar << Impulse >> with Laser. Hobo arrives from the Six Lasers - Cheyne Ig-Yac Ranch. Hobo has arrived. Laser blasts leave carbon scoring on his armor, and Impulse inwardly grimaces, but he takes the shots, even as he banks around, and then there's the surge of engines. He's gunning for Sideswipe, and he wants to try and end this before it becomes another marathon that leaves him nearly drained of energon and part of a double KO. Impulse strikes Sideswipe with Sideswiped!. "This has become a more even match," Otacon says, stating the obvious. "Both combatants are damaged, now. While Sideswipe is probably still behind somewhat, he's right behind Impulse." "The battlefield's a funny thing," Snake growls. "One moment you're on top of the world, then the next you're layed out cold, like a corpse. Maybe... kinda like me..." He puffs his cigarette thoughtfully. And suddenly Sideswipe is experiencing the familier feeling of flight all over again! Having landed from his aerial adventure, he found himself in the path of Impulse's bumper.. not at all a pleasent place to be. Keeping himself together, Sideswipe whipped himself into a transformation, tires kicking up thick clouds of sand as his rear wheels fight for traction moments befor speeding off in pursuit. His hood splits down the middle, Sideswipe's gun ratcheting into view on a armature device, the weapon peppering Impulse's bumper with, you guessed it, lasers! Sideswipe topples forward, his form folding in on itself as he falls to the earth, soon landing with a plaintive squeek of his supension, four tires hitting the ground. Sideswipe misses Gold and Black Hovercar << Impulse >> with his Car Laser attack. Gold and Black Hovercar << Impulse >> transforms back now, launching himself up into the air. No, he's not flying... but he's looking quickly over Sideswipe for cracks in his armor... and then suddenly, the closed fist strike shoots out in a blur of gold, black and red, intent on fracturing the armor and hampering Sideswipe's mobility further, even as he comes down for a landing to start moving once again. A flurry of shifting, twisting and contorting ensues as the sleek, streamlined form of a gold hovercar transforms into the Autobot known as Impulse. Impulse strikes Countach LP500S with Crystalocution Fracture Strike. Sideswipe falls to the ground unconscious. Dramatic music plays loudly as Old Snake watches Sideswipe fall. He douses his cigarette and carefully stows it in a little case, approaching the wrecked Autobot. Looking over his ruined frame for a moment, he mutters, "You fought well on the battlefield. Though you lost, you have nothing to be ashamed of." Then, just as the music picks up, Snake comes to attention and salutes sharply. Countach LP500S 's super sexy exterior is assailed by a sudden rush of cruel, unkind, and just plain mean hand thrusts. denting and rending into the thinner armor and striking the fore-mounted motor,. Sideswipe rolling on momentum for several yards befor his knocking engine simply sputters and dies. Impulse zips back around, blaster pistol at the ready... and stops as he hears the cued dramatic music. Gold optic flicker, and he looks at Sideswipe. The blast disappears back into subspace, and he walks over. Carbon scores from the laser fire he took are still visible, at least so long as the holographic generators are active, and he kneels down beside Sideswipe. "You okay, 'Swipe?" he asks, concerned and wanting to make sure that his fellow Autobot is alright. Old Snake holds that pose for a few moments, tears trickling down his cheek. Then, suddenly, he starts spasming. He fumbles around in a pouch for a nanomachine suppressor, but it slips out of his hands and rolls away. Falling to his knees, he grunts out, "Crab... battle...." before he falls onto his side. "Snake!? Answer me!" Otacon yells frantically. "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" ...but don't worry, folks! He's just an unthemely ref anyway. It's cool. Countach LP500S contorts and shivers, rolling onto it's roof in battered, transformational throws. The hood swings about, locking to the car's undercarriage, allowing Sideswipe's dazed visage to thrust into view. "Momma, is that you? I had a dream Momma, and you were there, and you were there.. and you.. wait.. who the slag are you?!" Impulse hmphs. "Yeah, you're okay." He chuckles faintly. "C'mon, 'Swipe... let's get you up. And get your Western gear that you paid an arm and a leg for." He pauses. "You aren't actually gonna have to /give/ them an arm and a leg, are you?" IMPULSE WINS PUNCHALITY
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